


Learning Curve

by Tetisheri12



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe, Blood, Death, F/M, Rebirth, Torture, Torture of a minor, Violence, cursing, religious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-05-08
Updated: 2019-03-28
Packaged: 2019-05-03 20:24:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Underage
Chapters: 21
Words: 70,873
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14576952
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Tetisheri12/pseuds/Tetisheri12
Summary: Death is only the beginning for the once Naruto fan. Follow the young heroine as she navigates growing up for a second time in the small village of Yugakure.





	1. Second Birth

**Author's Note:**

> Hey everyone! This is the first fic I've posted on ao3, but definitely not my first fan fiction. I haven't posted a story in years, so do be kind to let me know how i'm doing. Enjoy!

Unfortunately, I don’t have a very interesting tale of my death. I wasn’t in some freak accident at work. I didn’t get hit by a car on my way to school. Hell, I didn’t even do anything heroic. I just got sick. How pathetic right?

Some people have these horrific noteworthy deaths, and I die in a bed a withered husk of myself. Do I sound bitter? 

It was cancer that did me in. Stage four pancreatic cancer that had metastasized to be exact. Cancers’ themselves have a ranking scale of you’ll-be-fine-with-treatment to you’re-screwed-plan-the-funeral-arrangements. What I had? 1 percent survival rate…not including the fact that it had spread to my bones. So all in all I was screwed. 

The doctors gave me six months, and that was being optimistic. They explained that all they could really do for me now was help make my last months on Earth tolerable. My parents were all gung-ho on going through with chemotherapy, clinging to the hope that I would be that miracle survivor. It had been years though since they’ve had the power to sign my medical documents. 

I spent the first few months doing as many things as I could. It wasn’t very long before the cancer ate away my energy. It became increasingly difficult to do anything with all the pain I was in. Who knew cancer was painful? After a while I resigned myself to my fate. I spent my last week surrounded by family and friends. It was surprisingly nice. 

I was twenty-five when I was diagnosed, and never lived to see my twenty sixth birthday. 

My last few moments alive I spent looking up at my teary-eyed mother. She was singing a lullaby…one from my childhood. I thought it was beautiful, before my eyes closed for the last time. 

There was no white light. Nobody to guide me to the afterlife. There was no pain. There was just…darkness. 

I ceased to exist for a singular moment, before a warm drop hit my face. 

My eyes snapped open, and there staring down at me with tears running down her face was an unfamiliar woman. I cry out, terrified by how big this woman’s face is. She smiles, as if my terror is a positive thing. 

What is happening? What is this? Where the hell am I? 

I can hear a baby crying. The woman coos and her larger than life finger strokes my cheek softly. I try and squirm away from this monstrous woman, but I can barely even move my limbs. Jesus Christ why can’t I get away!? Is this hell? 

She murmurs something to me still stroking my cheek. What is that? Japanese? I squeeze my eyes shut wailing loudly. I just want to get away from this lady! 

Another voice joins in, and I feel myself being lifted in the air. I open my eyes panicked that I was being taken away, again. This time it’s the face of a man. He’s smiling widely at me. I continue to squirm in his grasp, before I feel whatever’s trapping me give way. My arm breaks through, and I see a baby’s hand come into view. 

The man extends his finger towards the fist in my line of sight. Dread starts to creep up my back. I move to grasp his finger…the baby’s fingers curl around the over-sized appendage. The crying of the child stops as shock settles over my skin. 

Suddenly the gigantic size of these strangers make sense. It wasn’t that they were huge, I was the one that had shrunk. The woman smiled when I cried because that’s what babies do when they’re born. I had been reborn. 

A different woman’s voice from the…well she was technically my mother now I guess. The man, whom I’m assuming was my ‘father’, reluctantly gave me up. It’s a nurse. I guess I was being shipped off to the nursery. I’d see those two people again. 

I hear the two people call a farewell to me as the nurse walks out the door. I may not speak Japanese, but I’d seen my sister do the same after she had a child. I had limited movement of my head due to the blanket that was wrapped tightly around me, but I could still see directly across from me. 

We pass by a man leaning against the wall, he’s wearing baggy red clothing with a black bandana tied around his forehead. He turned his face towards us when we passed, smiling when he saw the nurse was holding a baby…or me I guess. My eyes widened as I took in the metal plate attached to his bandana…the three slanted vertical lines engraved into the metal. 

No…that can’t be. That was impossible…I started crying again, and attempted to thrash around in my blanket cocoon. There was no way. I just couldn’t be-no. No no no. The nurse spoke, rocked me a bit, probably trying to get me to settle down. 

When more voices came towards us, I focused on them. Maybe that guy was a cosplayer or something. That was the most logical explanation for his state of dress…or at least wearing that headband. The people we passed did nothing to assuage my fears. Some were wearing the same hitai-ate the man was, while others weren’t. It could be a cosplay convention. 

I couldn’t even properly focus on the disturbing reality of what occurred as a wave of exhaustion hit me. Apparently being born was tiresome. I was brought into a room with several other babies. The nurse set me down in an empty plastic tub. I was so damn sleepy...fear momentarily seized me as my eyes closed. There was no telling where I could awaken, of if I’d even wake up again. I couldn’t fight the panic for long though, as my body’s need for rest overpowered any kind of fear. 

The next time I woke up I was helluva lot more level headed. For one I hadn’t just died and been reborn. And two…I wasn’t doped up on every painkiller known to man. I said before that my passing had been relatively peaceful…

Anyhow back to the matter at hand. I’m not sure how it happened, or maybe this was my afterlife, but I was in Naruto. My cosplayer theory was a solid one…until I saw a nurses’ hands start to glow green when a baby next to me started throwing up for no apparent reason. The baby’s fine by the way, but people’s hands don’t glow in…my old life. 

I watched Naruto most of my teenage years. Okay, so I was obsessed, but I had grown out of that phase a while ago. Luckily, I had an excellent memory. If I thought about it long enough, I could recall everything I knew about this universe. I had to get my bearings before I could think about anything else though. 

I was in Yugakure…the Village Hidden in Hot Water. The three lines engraved into the metal plates were the same as Hidan’s, minus the line through them that marked people as a missing nin. If shinobi were still wearing the hitai-ate then that meant the village was still a shinobi village. It was never released just how old Hidan really was, but the fandom assumed his immortality was fairly new due to his arrogance in the battlefield. The only thing I’m certain of is that I was born before the start of Naruto. If I could only figure out when in the universe I was, then I could start thinking about other things. 

Like how to survive. There isn’t much said about Yugakure in general, other than Hidan’s connection to it. I have no idea what kind of village this place was…but if they had decided to turn into a tourist joint, their shinobi couldn’t be too bad right? Hidan came from Yugakure though, and he was…well he was Hidan. 

Judging from the smiles the nurses had on their faces, I could guess that Yugakure wasn’t too bad. Maybe if it was peaceful this was God’s, kami’s, or…hmm what did Hidan call him? Jashin? Ya! Jashin!...way of making up for killing me in the first place. I don’t think Jashin would do such a thing…unless he wanted me to experience the pain of having your body turn against you, so I could better understand those with the same- must get back to the topic at hand. 

I needed to find where I was at in the timeline. That was the first order of business. Now…if only I could go see the Hokage monument. Judging from who’s faces were carved into the mountain side would give me a really good timeframe. My eyes roved around the ceiling, I couldn’t very well investigate anything the way I was now. I let out an indignant cry. 

I was really starting to dislike being so damn young. I guess I’m just going to have to wait…

XxXxXx

I’m just going to point out right now that being completely aware of being an infant was hell. I couldn’t control my bowel movements, which would have embarrassed me if I hadn’t already experienced that humiliating torture. Not to mention everyone talks to you like you’re lame. Luckily those days were long past me. There were an upsides to being a child again. Learning Japanese, for instance, was extremely easy. I don’t think my adult self would have been able to adequately pick up the language the way I did as an infant.

I knew when I was in the timeline of Naruto universe. When I was three I overheard my father talking with my aunt about her husband, who was off fighting in the Second Great Shinobi War. I think that made me somewhere near Minato’s generation’s age. I’m not entirely sure how far into the war it was though…and the fandom never had a clear timeline on the entire thing. 

My new parents were acupuncturists. From the time I was able to walk they had started to teach me their craft. I learned all about pressure points, chakra points, and the human anatomy. We lived in the apartment above the shop. Yugakure was a small village…and it was encouraged to become a ninja. 

I decided early on I was going to become a kunoichi. My reasoning behind this was that if I was going to live in this world, I might as well make the most of it. My mother wasn’t too pleased to hear that her youngest wanted to be a ninja. My father thought it was a good idea. He was proud to have an offspring take up the hitai-ate. My parents had me later in their life. My mother being well into her forties, which is why they named me Chise for little star. 

I was a miracle birth. 

I was five now, and oddly enough I looked the same as I did when I first experienced the age. I was all shades of brown. My hair was a darker chocolate brown that hung just below my chin while my eyes were a lighter sepia color. As far as looks went I was leaning more towards my mother. She was a curvaceous woman, with a sweetheart shaped face. 

Today was my first day at the Academy. I was really excited. I may have grown out of my Naruto obsession, but I was still a fan. I was about to start training as a ninja. I had the potential, with a ton of luck, to become a shinobi for Yugakure. 

“Kaa-san, tou-san hurry!” I tugged uselessly on their hands as we neared the building. There were a few parents and their children milling around. The nervous energy was nearly electric. 

“Calm down Chise, we’re not going to be late.” My mom rolled her eyes affectionately. Is it odd that I refer to them as mom and dad in my mind, but out loud refer to them in the Japanese counterparts? 

“But Kaa-san…” I sighed in exasperation. Did she not understand how amazing this opportunity was for me? Well, actually she didn’t. She had no idea that I knew this universe like the back of my hand. One did a lot of thinking as an adult soul trapped in an infant’s body. 

“Okay kiddo,” My dad smiled bending down to press a kiss to my forehead. “This is where we drop you off.” He lightly ruffled my hair before standing up. 

“Tou-san…” I mumbled embarrassed by his public display of affection. 

“Be nice to the other kids and remember to eat your lunch.” My mom nodded firmly. 

“I know Kaa-san…Imma go now!” Dumbing down my vocabulary these last few years was an interesting feat. The other parents were sending off their children as well. Ooh this was so exciting! 

I already knew which classroom I was supposed to be in from the packet we had gotten after taking the entrance exam. The test gauged whether or not we had the potential to become a shinobi or not. The fact that I had passed had made me giddy. 

The moment I walked into the class, ten sets of eyes turned to glare at me. I’m not entirely sure what I did to invite their near hostile stares, but it zapped me of my good mood instantly. It felt like middle school all over again. Jashin really liked fucking with me. 

I’ve had a lot of time to think about Jashin and his existence. Hidan’s immortality was living proof that the deity was real. God’s don’t show favor to those that knew them to be real and didn’t worship them…so I figured I could push all my bad luck onto the God of Destruction.


	2. A Different Childhood

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the second chapter. I hope you all enjoy!

_3 months later_

I’m convinced that the other kids in my class were inhuman. They all came from shinobi heavy families, and their skill level reflected that. I was a civilian child, and my chakra reserves were nowhere near as large as theirs were. On the up side being in the borderline hostile environment made me work even harder. I had that much more to prove with these kids who thought they were hot shit because they’ve been training since they were three. 

“Chise-chan…are you doing alright?” I looked up from the book I had been reading. My teacher, Kagame Eto, was a nice woman. “Why aren’t you outside with the others?” It was lunchtime, and I opted to stay inside instead of following the rest of my class outdoors. I’d rather read in the quiet indoors instead of the child shrieking outdoors. There were some things I couldn’t hide about having a thirty-year-old soul and playing outdoors was one of them. 

“I like the quiet.” I told her with a small shrug before going back to my book. 

“Is that the only reason?” She pressed forward. Of course, she’d notice how the children treated me, she was a kunoichi after all. I wasn’t five, so I wouldn’t deal with the bullying the way a five-year-old would. I frowned and closed my book.

“The other kids don’t like me because my father is on the council.” Unlike the other Hidden Villages, Yugakure didn’t have a Kage. They had four councilmen, or elders. Two were shinobi while the other two were civilians, my father happened to be one of those civilians. “Many of their family members are dying in the war…they blame the council.” 

“You’re very intelligent Chise.” Kagame smiled sweetly at my explanation. I sat up a bit straighter at her compliment, making the elder woman chuckle. “Would you like to play cards with me?” I blinked in surprise as she produced a deck of cards out of nowhere. 

“Okay…sure.” I nodded with a tiny smile. 

“Excellent…let’s play rich man poor man.” She slid into a seat beside mine and started dealing the cards. It never hurt to make a friend…even if it was in the form of a teacher obligated to make sure I was okay. 

_Classes: target practice_

Today we were training with weapons. My inner teenager was doing a little happy dance the entire time. I’d always wanted to throw a kunai, shuriken, and senbon. I shocked everyone, including myself, when my accuracy with senbon was nearly up to par with Kaoru Mikami the top kid in class. 

Well I wasn’t too shocked. My parents were acupuncturists after all. I’d grown up around needles, and they had begun teaching me all about their work about the same time the clan kids started training. I knew my way around a needle, and the human body. 

It came as no surprise to me when I royally sucked at throwing kunai. I couldn’t even get the damn things to get near the target, let alone hit it. I think I may have found my weapon of choice with senbon. 

“Looks like you’re a one trick pony.” Kaoru was, for lack of a better word, an asshole. I’m not sure how a five-year-old could come off as such, but he did. I scowled and attempted to hit the target again. “You’re not even throwing it right.” He muttered with a roll of his eyes. 

“Then show me what the right way is.” I retorted, tired of his insults. Kaoru looked momentarily stunned, “Cat got your tongue?” He blushed furiously, and turned back towards his own target. I thought he had simply gave up on tormenting me when he spoke quietly. 

“You’re not letting go at the right moment.” He supplied beside me. “When you throw it, let it go at the precise angle you wish for it to go.” He slowly showed me how to throw and release it, not even looking in my direction. “If you let go at the right moment, it should do this.” He then threw the kunai in real time, and hit the target. 

“Thanks, here does nothing.” I gripped the hilt of the kunai, and went through the same motions as Kaoru showed me. The kunai harmlessly bounced off the target. “Yay!” I grinned widely, it didn’t stick, but now I could get to the target. The corner of his lips tugged upwards. 

“You still suck.” I rolled my eyes, not even his insults could ruin my good mood. 

_Lunchtime_

“My niece was born yesterday.” Miss. Kagame told me during lunch one day. We were sitting on the tables with our legs crossed. Between us were a pile of bon bon’s. “I raise two candies…” She pushed two colorfully wrapped candies into the growing pile. We started playing poker about four months after she had first offered to play cards with me. She had me beat on every other game, but this one. 

“I raise three.” I pushed three of my own candies into the pile. “What’s her name?” I didn’t even know Miss. Kagame had any family. 

“Mei.” She told me, staring hard at her cards before glancing up at me again. “She’s so tiny, it’s adorable.” 

“Baby’s usually are.” Except for my cousin in my previous life. He was born eleven pounds and nearly two feet long. I felt really bad for my aunt. I kept my face carefully blank, so she wouldn’t know I had a rather crappy hand. 

“I call.” She pushed the candy forward before smiling in triumph. “Royal flush…” She laid out her cards on the table. 

“Jashin be damned…” I muttered tossing my cards on the table. My bluffing normally worked. 

“You say that name in vain a lot. Do you know who he is?” I’d gotten into the bad habit of taking the God of Pain’s name in vain. I blamed him for all my misgivings…and he dished it back to me in spades. Luckily nothing too horrible has happened to me yet. During my obsessive years I’d looked up Jashin and read up on anything I could about the religion.

“He’s the God of Pain, Death, and Destruction.” I pursed my lips. He wanted people to be able to understand pain in all its’ forms, and be able to transcend the pain…to be able to relish within it. Miss. Kagame raised an eyebrow inquisitively. “He controls pain, and the more a follower sacrifices in his name, the more control over our own pain we have. If he blesses you…you can become immortal.” Hidan became immortal. 

“You believe in this God?” Her stare turned heavy. It made me wonder if she knew who Hidan was. Speaking of the devout Jashinist, I never saw him around the village. If he was in the war, than he was older than the fandom had thought. 

“I believe that he is real, but I don’t necessarily follow his teachings.” The last thing I needed was her to think I was about to start murdering people in the name of Jashin. I resisted the terrible urge to laugh at the thought of tiny five-year-old me killing people in the same fashion Hidan does. 

“Hm, you grow more and more interesting everyday Chise-chan.” She smiled, and I knew I was safe from her suspicions. 

_Classes – Kunoichi class_

I now knew why the academy never went into full detail about what Kunoichi classes entailed. They were going to teach a bunch of young girls in the art of seduction. Not now of course, but later on in our academy years. 

For now, we were stuck with flower arranging, and other mundane ‘womanly’ duties. I hated every moment of it. I was never the domestic type. It didn’t help that every other girl was a damn pro at this. 

“Your flowers kind of look like…” Hitomi Hino trailed off, unsure of how to insult my pitiful bouquet. “You suck at this.” Hitomi was a rather rude girl. She was a bit chubby and liked to take out her insecurities on everyone else.

“Ya, I can see that.” I rolled my eyes, tempted to throw the flowers at her. It was a childish impulse, but I could fight it. 

“Here, let me help Chise-chan.” Miss. Kagame came to my rescue and started to pick apart my terrible bouquet. 

“Teacher’s pet.” Hitomi snickered, earning a sharp glare from Miss. Kagame. 

“Thanks…” I couldn’t wait to get back to regular classes. I understood the importance of these classes. Kunoichi were expected to be an entirely different breed of shinobi than the men. In many ways we needed to be stronger. Men didn’t have to go on ‘Seduction’ missions as often as women did. The name was pretty self-explanatory, and it almost made me blanch at the thought of what those missions would entail. Sometimes I wish I was a regular five-year-old. The other girls in my class didn’t-couldn’t- grasp the full weight behind the teacher’s explanations as I did. 

I understood that for the sake of our village we would be using our bodies to our advantage. That we would flirt and flaunt ourselves in front of our targets to get the information we needed. Some would even need to have sex in order to fully ‘distract’ our targets. My soul was thirty years old, and while I enjoyed being able to act my body’s age, I couldn’t ignore this little tidbit. 

_Classes – Physical Training_

To be a ninja one needed to be of both sound body and mind. As children, the academy and Miss. Kagame figured we’d enjoy the sound body part before we had the capacity to start training our minds. It was-excuse my pun-a sound plan to execute on a group of kids. Children were notorious for having excessive energy. Unfortunately, this wasn’t something my body was inherently born with. 

My mental age was thirty years old, and sometimes it felt like my body was too. I just didn’t seem to have the same amount of energy as the rest of the class, which comes back to the smaller chakra reserves. I always tried my best when Miss. Kagame was showing us basic taijutsu stances, or having us do cardio, but I always crashed a lot quicker than the others. 

It frustrated me to no end. At the moment we were in the push-up portion of the workout, the bane of my existence. My arms, which always looked thinner when I was working out, shook under the weight of my body as I lifted myself up. I started moving immediately after. I dreaded hearing Miss. Kagame call out the word ‘down’ again. 

We always started working out by running around the yard. She’d call out certain stretches or things to do while we were running. First was rolling our arms forward and backwards, usually followed by doing high knees then butt-kickers. After that we’d start doing bear crawls. While we were doing those though, she’d call out ‘down’ and we do a push-up. 

“Down!” I bit back a groan, stopping my progress to straighten my body so I could do proper push-up. My breath huffed out from the exertion as I struggled to lower and lift myself back up. I had to keep reminding myself that I was only five, and we’d just began training. I would get better with time…I know I would. 

“You’re so weak Chise, even the fatty can do a better push up then you.” Kaoru taunted from directly behind me. I hated to be called weak, but he was right. Hitomi was a lot better at physical training then I was, and she had a lot more mass to carry than I did. I grit my teeth together as we started moving again. 

This was another thing to add to ever growing list of ninja skills I needed to work on. I would get better in time, I had to. I wouldn’t let a five year old’s taunts get into my head. With lots of hard work I would get stronger. I only needed to put in the time. 

“Alright, up!” I sighed in relief as I came to a stand. “Ten sprints from me to the fence! Go!” This time I didn’t bother hiding my moan of dissatisfaction as I shot off towards the fence. I did have one thing on my side with p.e., and surprisingly it was speed. I was second to Kaoru when it came to running, even though I could only run fast in short bursts. 

When that was done we were all bent over at the waist and breathing heavily. I could see Miss. Kagame’s amused smile from where she stood. God this was only the beginning. I had to keep in mind that this would all pay off. I chose this life for myself, and I would see it through. I would become a ninja, no matter what it took. 

_Home – Family Dinner_

“Chise drink your tea, it’s a special blend that helps promote chakra growth.” My mother gestured with her chopsticks towards the brown colored sludge in my cup. I frowned, it tasted like dirt and old cheese. 

“Chise…don’t be difficult.” I glanced over at my father, seeing his disapproving ‘parent stare’. With a sigh I picked up the cup and gingerly sipped at it. He smiled, pleased that I had listened, and went back to eating his dinner. 

“How is ninja school dear?” Because I wasn’t an actual five year old, I knew that her question was weighted. She knew that the other kids were making fun of me in class. I was slightly peeved that Miss. Kagame had told them about what was going on. 

“Ah, yes, how is school? Going well?” He was in on it too…just by the slightly expectant look I could see in his eyes. They wanted me to fess up to the bullying. I pursed my lips, setting the cup of sludge down. 

“School is fine. Miss. Kagame is a wonderful teacher, I’m really learning a lot from her.” I smiled slightly, “The other kids in my class all come from shinobi families, so I have to work really hard to keep up with them. I really like the challenge!” I grinned them, showing them that I had absolutely no issues with the alienation. My mother frowned, but held her tongue. 

“That’s wonderful sweetheart! I’m glad that you’re having fun.” He smiled with a slight nod. “God knows that we’re going to need more shinobi if this war never ends.” The air in the room suddenly grew tense. It was nearly taboo to speak of the war at dinner time. 

“So, you’ll be fine with sending our only daughter to be killed by enemy shinobi? Using her as fodder so the more important ninja can do their job?” My mother demanded, eyes narrowed in slits. My gaze slipped towards my father, wondering what his reaction may be. 

“I didn’t mean it like that and you know it” His tone was tight. 

“No, I don’t know. I don’t understand anything you’re doing these days. Why are our people still in this war? The dispute is amongst the larger villages.” I slumped down in my seat, this wasn’t a new argument. “I’m starting to believe you and the other councilmembers simply like to send people to their death.” 

“Damnit Mei!” I flinched as my father’s fists slammed down onto the table. He stood up, mouth set in a scowl. “I’m sick and tired of your accusations! How do you think that makes me look in front of Chise, huh!?” 

My parents from my other life never fought like this, rarely ever raised their voices at one another. I understood that my dad was under a lot of pressure, but the way he yelled at mom was no way to talk to a woman. All he ever did was yell though, then stalk off to the store. I’m not entirely sure what he did there, but when he came back up he was a lot more relaxed and the argument was forgotten. 

“I’m sorry.” I could see her fists shaking from their spots on the table, but her face was a cool mask. My dad scoffed with a roll of his eyes. 

“I’m going to the store, don’t wait up.” He came around the table, placing a gentle kiss on the top of my head. “Good night sweetheart.” He left without even looking in my mom’s direction. I feared the questions swirling in my head whenever they fought. As a baby I knew we weren’t going to be a perfect happy family, but I thought maybe it would simmer out as I grew up. It didn’t, if anything it only got worse. 

“Finish your tea and eat your vegetables.” I gave a soft nod, ignoring the hoarseness of her voice. This was the only part of my new life that I wished mimicked my old one. 

I couldn’t help but wonder if maybe this was Jashin’s doing.


	3. A Promise Made

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for the Kudos! I greatly appreciate them! Enjoy the new chapter!

_Town Hall: Council Meeting_

Technically council meetings are supposed to be private and only conducted between the council members. I was only five though, so they didn’t see me as a threat or a liability. I’m thankful that they allowed me to sit in on the meetings. It meant that I knew first hand when something was going to happen, or they were going to implement a change. 

“We’re losing the public’s support for the war effort.” Yuki, an older civilian spoke up. He was a portly man with a bushy white beard and absolutely no hair on his head. 

“Do they not understand that our shinobi being in the war is the only thing keeping this village afloat?” That was Atsushi, a retired ninja. He was ancient and had probably fought in the wars before ninjas were around. “I do not like sending off good men and women to die, but if we were to pull our shinobi from the war we’d lose Kumo’s payment.” 

Ah, so that’s who’s paying us. Miss. Kagame had a map of the lands in the classroom. Kumo shinobi would have to pass straight through us to get to the Land of Fire. Did that mean our shinobi were acting like guards? Or were we tasked with weeding out any enemy shinobi in our lands, so that Kumo shinobi could pass without problem? I couldn’t very well ask, they’d know I was more cognizant than a five-year-old. 

“How many of ours are still active?” Kou was the youngest on the council, being in his thirties. I overheard my father talking to my aunt once that he was only on the council because his father had passed away. He inherited the role. 

“Nine, a report came in that we lost another unit.” Atsushi looked almost remorseful. I wonder who we lost. 

“Nine? So someone from the unit survived?” Kou asked, looking to his elder expectantly. 

“Hidan.” It was as if a bomb had been dropped in the room. Suddenly everyone was on edge. Their eyes roved the room, as if searching for an enemy hidden within the paneling. My interest piqued, this was the first time I’ve ever heard Hidan spoken about. 

“I should have known, he has an uncanny knack for surviving massacres.” Kou sounded bitter, glaring down at the ground the way he was. 

“He’s also one of our strongest shinobi we have in the village.” Yuki pointed out, scratching his beard. “I say it’s a good thing that our enemies cannot kill him.” 

“He’s also an asshole.” 

“Kou! Language please.” My father reprimanded the younger man, pointedly glancing at me. I giggled childishly as a blush suddenly bloomed over his cheeks. 

“Sorry, I forgot she was there.” I grinned. It was a compliment after all. 

So Hidan was in the war. They didn’t say how old he was, but judging from what Kou said, he’s lived through his teammates being killed multiple times. That meant that he was probably already blessed by Jashin. I was living in a village destined to become a tourist joint. The same village Hidan would go on a murdering spree in, because they decided to become a tourist attraction. He’d most likely kill my father…my stomach knotted up uncomfortably. 

“What are we going to do to placate our people?” Yuki piped in. The meeting went on with them trying to come up with ideas to keep the public from turning on them.

_2 years later_

Today the ninjas that have been fighting in the war were coming home. Finally, the Second Great Shinobi war had ended. The larger countries had come to a loose agreement, one that wouldn’t last too long seeing as the Third Shinobi war would be coming up in a few decades. That is…if my knowledge of the timeline was correct. 

I realized a while ago that I’m going to be fairly old when the beginning of Naruto starts. While being in my thirties in my old life wouldn’t be considered old, being a ninja and living passed the age of thirty was quite a feat. I only hoped that I lived long enough to see the beginning of cannon. 

I was a fairly decent kunoichi in training. The physical training stuff was still difficult, but I persevered through it. Next week we are going to test to see what our chakra element is. We may be a small village, but shinobi-in-training graduated from the academy at nine. 

I was learning that living in a small hidden village meant that we couldn’t be as complacent as the larger hidden villages. I now understood why many called Konoha shinobi soft. After the first year Miss. Kagame started on the real training. It was harsher than anything I’d ever seen in the anime or manga flashbacks, and most definitely the most difficult thing I’d ever put myself through. 

She was essentially teaching us how to kill so we wouldn’t be killed. As a small village, we shinobi were often ‘pawned’ off to larger villages. They almost always used us on the frontline to wear down the enemy and act as a shield before their own troops came in. We were used us as cannon fodder, but we had no choice. Our livelihood and the continued existence of our village depended on these high paying jobs. It wasn’t a surprise that Yugakure decided to turn into a tourist resort. 

I couldn’t wait to learn my chakra nature. Lightning and water were the most common chakra natures in the village. Of course, many had fire chakra nature as well, seeing as our land bordered the land of Fire. We’d probably use those cool litmus papers. 

“I can see them!” Someone in the gathered crowd yelled. My mother’s hands came to rest on my shoulders. She smiled softly down at me when I gave her a questioning look. I could see my aunt waiting anxiously beside us. Her teeth chewing at her lower lip. 

I focused my attention on the approaching group. There were six of them, and two were limping. The excited din of the villagers grew as our shinobi drew closer. My family was at the front of the crowd that lined the entrance of Yugakure. My father stood proudly beside the other council members, ready to welcome the returning men and women home. 

The roar of the crowd was deafening when the shinobi reached the entrance. One of the two shinobi limping was my uncle. My aunt had promptly ran to him and embraced him. He visibly sagged in relief when she was in his arms. The other one limping, which I could now see was because she was using a crudely made crutch. Half of her left leg was missing, the pant leg tied in a knot just below the stump. My mother’s hands tightened ever so slightly as nurses rushed forward to help the woman. 

A loud bark of laughter drew my attention away from the mutilated woman and towards the remaining shinobi. I wasn’t surprise to see who was the one laughing. This was my first time seeing a cannon character in person. Hidan was shirtless, only wearing maroon pants with binding around his waist and ankles. He had his three bladed scythe strapped to his back, and his hitai-ate tied around his neck. His shoes were the standard black sandals. His rosary swung proudly from his neck. In the anime Hidan’s hair was always colored a darkish gray, they got it wrong. His hair was the color of moonlight, white with the hint of silver. I couldn’t see his eyes from where I stood, but I imagined them to be different than the anime as well. 

His skin was still pale, despite the probability he spent most of his time outside shirtless. A pit dropped in my stomach as I continued to stare at the soon to be S-class missing nin. He had no scars…no marks or bandages on his body. Hidan didn’t look like he’d just come home from a war. Hidan was Jashin’s chosen, and the lore I had read about the God said that he turned his chosen prophet white. I assumed it meant albino.

It seemed like even having the thought of the man’s god drew his attention, which was insanely paranoid because Hidan couldn’t read minds. I don’t think anyone in Naruto could, only give the illusion of being able to, but not actually reading someone’s mind. His eyes were a light red-violet, leaning more towards the red. My mother’s nails dug almost painfully into my shoulders. He was looking right at me. 

Jashin was real. I knew I’d come to that conclusion a while ago, but I didn’t acutally believe myself when I thought about it, y’know? I didn’t want to admit that a God who promoted killing was more real than the God my parents believed in my old life. It was a terrifying thought, to know that he was real with irrefutable proof while God wasn’t. Hell, God didn’t even exist in theory in this world. I always thought that maybe Hidan simply learned some crazy ass jutsu that enabled him to have immortality if he took the lives of others. 

I don’t know why simply meeting his gaze banished any and all doubts from my mind about why and how Hidan was the way he was, but it did. Jashin was real…and I’d been ignoring that fact since I was born. I took his name in vain on a daily basis without ever paying homage to him. I had to do something about that…I needed to supplicate Jashin in some form. I had to make up for my defiance. Wasn’t self-sacrifice a part of worship? 

I lowered my gaze, unable to look him in the eye any longer. My heart was beating irregularly fast, and I could feel my palms sweating. I am terrified. People weren’t supposed to know that Deity’s were real. God’s were supposed to stay within the land of written and spoken word. 

“Hidan!” My head shot up at the sound of Miss. Kagame’s voice. She ran up to the man, a brilliant smile on her face. I’ve never seen her smile at anyone like that. Hell, I didn’t even know she knew Hidan. They didn’t hug or kiss, but she spoke to him through her smiling. I couldn’t hear what she was saying, but I could pick out the briefest of smiles playing on his lips. Who were they to one another? I pushed the question to the back of my mind, I had more pressing matters to think about. 

I’m sorry God…but I don’t think I’ll be praying to you for a while. Jashin…he had power in this world. Hidan was proof enough of that. 

_Later that Evening_

“Your mother wants to know why you’re refusing to eat dinner.” My father said through a sigh. He had just closed up shop for the day. I was in my room, reading a genjutsu scroll. 

“I told her that I promised Jashin that I would fast for five days.” He pinched the bridge of his nose. “I have to do this Tou-san.” 

“Chise…do you even realize who Jashin is?” I frowned, looking towards the doorway where he stood. 

“Of course, I do. Jashin is the God of pain and death.” I was being serious when I said I’d pray to Jashin. I’ve seen his work, I wouldn’t question his existence anymore like I had God in my previous life. 

“Why would you pray to such a god?” He was using his ‘parental’ tone on me. Because he’s real and bad things happened to people when they ignore a Deity. 

“Pain is a great teacher.” I had no other answer for him at the moment.

“Okay Chise…” He walked back out of the room. I listened to his footsteps as he walked towards the kitchen where my mother was at. 

“Is she coming out?” My mother’s voice drifted down the hallway.

“No, she’s just going through a phase…she’ll get over it.” I’m sorry dad, but this isn’t just a phase.


	4. Meeting a Legend

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the Fourth chapter of Learning Curve. Thank you all for leaving kudos and the comment. They are all appreciated.

_Classes: Chakra Nature_

If I ever saw a person starving or hungry, I’d take them to the nearest food stand I could find. Starvation was terrible, and I wouldn’t wish it on anyone else. I was thankful that my family was relatively sound money wise. I’m not sure how sound fasting as a reparation to Jashin was as a plan. I am so damn hungry. I had three more days to go. 

“So, these papers will tell us what nature our chakra is?” Kaoru spoke up from his desk, staring at the small white sheet as if it’d grow teeth and bite him. 

“Yes, all you guys have to do is concentrate your chakra into the hand you’re holding the paper in.” Miss. Kagame explained patiently, “If the paper bursts in flames you have an affinity for fire, if water the paper will become wet, lightening will make it crinkle, earth will turn into dirt, and wind it will split in two. Try them now.” 

I did as she asked, concentrating my chakra into the paper. It suddenly grew wet in my hands.

I had water chakra. 

“Whoa!” Hitomi, who now sat next to me, exclaimed. Her paper had crumbled away into dirt. The other kids reacted in much the same way to their own natures. 

“Now you guys can start to work on basic chakra transformations based on your own chakra nature. You can find scrolls on them in the library, or ask me.” 

“You got water? That’s really cool.” Hitomi looked at my soggy paper. 

“Ya, Earth is pretty cool as well.” I told her. She rolled her eyes. “I mean it, without Earth a lot of people would end up burnt to a crisp. It’s a great defense against enemies using fire jutsu’s.” 

“You’re just saying that to make me feel better.” She rolled her eyes, dismissing my compliment. I’m not entirely sure why she was talking to me in the first place. In two years, Hitomi had slimmed down some with all the working out. Kaoru no longer called her fatty, or chunky. She was only seven, so I knew the weight would come off anyhow. 

“Ha! I got fire!” Kaoru crowed from his seat. “Bet you’re jealous I gotta better chakra nature.” I rolled my eyes, I wasn’t even going to deign his taunt with a response. 

“Actually Kaoru, Chise’s water nature chakra is more powerful than your fire nature chakre, while Hitomi’s earth nature chakra is more powerful than Chise’s.” I could only describe Miss. Kagame’s smile as smug. 

“See, told you earth was cool.” I told Hitomi with a small giggle. Kids in class still didn’t like me, but we were stuck in a classroom together for quite some time now. It was assimilation at its finest. Miss. Kagame’s constant interference helped as well. 

“Alright class, let’s get our history books out.” She reigned us in easily. I was so not looking forward to lunch. 

_Lunchtime_

I stayed in my seat like I normally did, bringing out my lone water bottle and piece of bread. My mother thought I was insane for starving myself this way, but she refused to listen whenever I tried to explain to her my reasons. My stomach was not happy with me, and the physical training was even more difficult. I had to persevere, there was no other way. 

“Chise, would you mind if an old friend of mine joined us for lunch today?” I looked up from my desk, seeing Miss Kagame standing in front of the doorway. She always left to grab her lunch from the teacher’s lounge before returning to the classroom. 

“No.” I returned to picking apart my lunch. 

“Damn, this place is shittier than when we went here.” Hidan’s voice jarred me momentarily. He wore the exact same thing he did when he returned to the village. I gulped, suddenly nervous with him in the room. 

“Language Hidan, there’s a child in the room.” Miss. Kagame rolled her eyes and moved to sit in her normal spot beside me. Hidan’s gaze traveled towards mine, his eyes narrowing slightly when he saw me. 

“Whatever Kagame,” He scoffed rolling his eyes and spinning a chair around to sit in front of us. 

“Chise, this is Hidan. We’ve known each other since we were kids.” Hidan leaned over the back of the chair, his arms crossed over the top. 

“Hello Sir.” Geez he was intimidating. Maybe it’s the fact that I know he’s a prophet for a God, and his mission was to kill heathens in the name of Jashin. 

“Pft, Sir. You tryin’ to kiss ass brat?” I gingerly shoved a piece of bread in my mouth, hating the way my cheeks burned at his question. The next moment Hidan flinched. I glanced at Miss. Kagame. She smiled innocently at me. When I looked back towards Hidan, the glint of his rosary caught my eye. The inverted triangle circumscribed within the circle held absolutely no blemishes. He must polish the metal often. He snapped his fingers, raising my gaze back towards his eyes. He had a smirk on his face, “You like my rosary kid?” He held up the pendant by its chain. 

“That’s Jashin’s symbol.” He looked momentarily shocked by my answer.

“You know who Jashin-sama is?” I swallowed, wondering how I should answer that. 

“Chise’s rather knowledgeable for a child her age.” Miss. Kagame commented. She didn’t even know the half of it. 

“He’s the God of pain, death, and destruction.” I pursed my lips, “His main teachings are that his disciples try and understand another’s pain, physical and mental.” I frowned slightly, “That’s not all though. Jashin demands sacrifices. He controls pain, and the more a follower sacrifices in his name, the more control over their own pain they have. Only after someone truly understands pain can they inflict pain on others.” I gave a small shrug, popping another piece of bread in my mouth. His gaze was heavy, and all kinds of uncomfortable. 

“Hm, where did you learn all that from Chise?” Miss. Kagame had the same serious note to her voice she had when I first told her of my knowledge of the destructive god. I couldn’t tell her I read it on the internet in my old life, and I also knew that the archives in the village library had no information on Jashin. Even the forbidden section, I checked.

My gaze jumped from adult to adult. Hidan looked inquisitive and curious, while Miss. Kagame had a concerned look in her eyes. Jashin damn it, why did I say all that? How do I explain my knowledge about something I shouldn’t know anything about? My heart clenched tightly in my chest, what do I say? I don’t want Miss. Kagame to be worried about me. She doesn’t know I’m not actually- 

“Miss. Kagame can I go outside now? Hitomi invited me to play hand-ball with her, and I really really want her to like me,” I looked at my teacher with large eyes, “Please?” I added a grin. When in doubt, act my age. 

“Yes, of course.” 

“Thank you!” I shot out of the room as quickly as my feet would carry me. I didn’t stop running until I was outside on the playground. I gulped in a deep breath, leaning heavily on my knees. That was a bullet dodged…geez I’d need to be more careful. 

I straightened out, noticing all the kids outside. Great…now what was I going to do? Hitomi didn’t actually invite me to play. In fact she made it a point to talk over me while she invited the boy sitting on the other side of me to play hand-ball with her. My stomach gurgled unhappily at me. I’d left my water and bread in the classroom. 

I scowled running a hand over my face. I needed my water. It was the only thing keeping me going. With a sigh, I turned back towards the building. I wouldn’t even look at them when I got into the classroom, I’d simply grab my water and go. Fast and simple. I had no plausible answer for Miss. Kagame. I shouldn’t know about Jashin. 

“Chise is a curious girl. She likes to read.” I slowed my walk as my teacher’s voice drifted through the cracked doorway. 

“Read scrolls that aren’t here anymore?” Hidan questioned. I quietly pressed myself against the wall, listening intently to their conversation. “There’s no other explanation.” What explanation? 

“Her father is on the council.” Her tone was dismissive. 

“Tell me, what brat eats a piece of bread for lunch?” My eyes widened, he noticed that? I always assumed Hidan wasn’t observant. He didn’t really portray himself as such in the anime. I couldn’t get my water bottle now. With a silent curse, I tiptoed my way back outside. What were they discussing? And how did it tie in with my knowledge about Jashin? 

_Classes: Kunoichi class_

It’s been a few weeks since the war had officially ended. Hidan never came in for lunch again after that first time. In fact, Miss. Kagame never spoke about that day. Whatever they had talked about must have upset her. It only made me even more curious about what it could be. All my knowledge about this world was practically useless in this village. 

“This is really boring Kagame-sensei.” Aki complained as we continued our walking exercises. We’d graduated from flower arranging and are now learned how to walk like a civilian. 

Miss. Kagame explained that walking could distinguish between a shinobi and a civilian. For the last two years we’d been learning how to move like a shinobi, and now she was teaching us to move like a civilian. No one commented on the fact that we were being taught how to move more like a model than a civilian. Moving our bodies in a way to accentuate our figure. She was teaching us how to walk seductively. At seven all of us girls looked ridiculous moving our hips the way we were, but when we got older…the information could be vital to our survival. 

“This is essential to kunoichi training,” She observed us thoughtfully, fixing any mistakes a girl would make. I knew how to walk seductively from my old life. I didn’t need Miss. Kagame’s guidance on this exercise. I hoped I would never need to use these skills later in my life, but I knew it was wishful thinking. 

Maybe kunoichi from larger hidden villages could avoid being sent on seduction missions, but not smaller ones. Kunoichi were in short supply in Yugakure. We were used mostly for seduction missions by the larger villages. They’d rather use some other village’s kunoichi then force their own to carry the weight of those missions. It made my blood boil. 

_Classes: Target practice_

We had graduated from wooden poles buried into the ground to human shaped targets. Some of them even moved on tracks, so we could practice throwing at a moving target. You would think that throwing sharp objects at a wooden ‘human’ target might open our young eyes to realize that this wasn’t just fun and games. We were being taught how to kill. 

In my old world, killing was one of the worst crimes a person could commit. I’m apprehensive about having to kill, but I chose this life for myself. I also understood that this world is morally and fundamentally different than my old one. There was no way around it. When you were a shinobi you sometimes had to kill to survive, to complete a mission, to save a friend, and the list could go on and on. 

Enough of the heavy thoughts though. I’ve gotten pretty damn good at throwing senbon. I had the best accuracy in the class, even with moving targets. I knew which body points to hit to incapacitate a target or kill them. I could disrupt an opponent’s chakra network. My family’s acupuncture knowledge really came in handy. 

“Just because you can throw a needle doesn’t make you better than us.” Aki, a girl who normally left me alone, grumbled beside me. I frowned slightly, I never thought myself better than my classmates, and I told her such. 

“Ch, ya right! You think you’re so cool ‘cause your dad is on the council and Kagame-sensei likes you.” Hitomi butted in from my other side. I blinked, realizing that they had no idea what it was like for me at home because my father was on the council. They didn’t realize Miss. Kagame only liked me because they all ostracized me. 

“You’re a lil’ teacher’s pet.” Kaoru sneered coming up to stand beside Hitomi. “You suck up to Kagame-sensei all the time just so she’ll go easy on you.” 

“Ya, you’re only still here ‘cause you suck up to Kagame-sensei. You can barely keep up in physical.” Hitomi crossed her arms over her chest. She had just as much trouble in physical as I did. My stomach knotted uncomfortably in my stomach as my gaze jumped from person to person. Their gazes were all accusing. 

“I know three hundred and twenty-two different ways to kill a human with a needle.” I stated, turning back towards my targets. I would never think to actually kill any of them. They were seven and childish. I had an advantage over them because my mental maturity was decades more mature than theirs. I wasn’t better than them, simply older. 

Even at seven-year old, they recognized a threat when they heard one. Not to mention I had full access to those needles while we were practicing with them. My personal pack of senbon were still packed away, awaiting the day I graduated. My dad had them specially made for me. 

They smartly went back to participating in class. Miss. Kagame, who had been at the other end of the training ground, walked passed us. I’m sure she didn’t hear a word they said, because if she had she would have punished them. I could see why they thought me the teacher’s pet. She had to come to my rescue quite a bit. I threw the senbon in my hand with a bit more force than necessary. 

“Great job Chise!” Miss. Kagame praised me as the needle embedded itself into the carved neck of the target. 

_After class_

I liked walking home. It gave me a chance to unwind after a long day at the academy. While my parents always acted loving and supportive towards me, their fighting hasn’t gotten any better. Walking home meant shortening the amount of time I would be awake at home. 

I also liked passing by all the shops. I could see why Yugakure became such a popular tourist place. The shops here all sold products that were handmade and unique. Not to mention were priced reasonably. The people were friendly and always smiled. We were a relatively peaceful village…if you ignored the tension that hung in the air. 

All the citizens were mistrustful and wary of the treaty that the larger countries had signed. It didn’t last for the First Shionbi War, why would it last for the Second? None of them wanted us to join a third, but we had no choice. It was either fight for the highest payer, or risk being attacked. The tipping point would come sooner or later, and when that happened…Hidan would snap. 

I shook the thought away. I could worry about Hidan’s inevitable breaking point on a later date. Right now, I had my classmates to worry about. They would be the people I fought alongside…might fight alongside. I was worried their dislike would carry into us being genin. If I couldn’t trust them to have my back...what could I do? 

I shouldn’t jump to conclusions though. This was only childhood silliness. In a few years they’ll be over their petty dislikes and all will be well. I won’t end up on a squad that would rather see me die out on a mission than help me if I needed it. My classmates were only being children. Children that were being taught how to kill. I don’t think they hate me though, only strongly dislike me. 

“Omph!” I exclaimed as I bumped into someone. I rubbed my head seeing red shinobi pants. “Ah, so sorry!” I looked up, my eyes widened when I saw Hidan looking down at me. 

“You should watch where you’re going, brat.” His voice was patronizing. 

“Sorry.” I mumbled, slightly embarrassed I managed to bump into him of all people. 

He scoffed, “Aren’t you a sensitive one.” I scowled then, my anger a flaring. I was already having a bad day. 

“You’re one to talk!” I retorted, recalling him threatening to kill anyone who pissed him off in the anime. Hidan cocked an eyebrow questioningly. “I’m sorry for bumping into you, but I need to get home.” I bowed slightly and started walking around him. 

“Not so fast kid.” I squawked when I was roughly pulled backwards by the back of my shirt. 

“Hey let me go!” I struggled to get a grasp on his hand as I was roughly twisted around. My hand grasped his wrist tightly.

“Stop squirming, fuck. I just want to ask you a question alright?” I glared at him but stopped moving. Hidan sighed in irritation, “I hate kids.” He muttered. I probably wasn’t meant to hear him say it. 

“Ya well adults aren’t too swell either.” I was surprised when he gave a short chuckle. 

“Feisty too, no wonder Kagame likes you so much.” There was a certain warmth to his voice that made me question the nature of his and my teacher’s relationship. 

“What do you want to ask?” I didn’t have the confidence to ask such a personal question. This Hidan was infinitely different than the one I’d watched in my old life. There was still something different about him, but I didn’t feel the same malignant intent that he exudes in the anime. The fond look that had filmed over his gaze cleared when he looked down at me. 

“How do you know about Jashin-sama’s teachings?” His red eyes stared inquisitively at me. He was curious, simple curiosity, but he might as well have told me he was about to skin me alive by the sudden pounding in my heart. My knees locked into place as my skin grew flush. Why did he have to ask about Jashin-sama? 

My tongue grew thick and dry making it hard to swallow. What was this? Why was I so afraid of his curiosity? Hidan was still looking at me expectantly. No that wasn’t right…it wasn’t his curiosity that scared me. It was something else, something that didn’t feel normal. Hidan’s eyes were red, his hair shone white, and skin an alabaster pale. He wasn’t normal. The glint of his metal rosary drew my attention towards the silver necklace. 

“I just do, now can I please go?” Irritation flashed across his eyes, he easily saw past my lie, but he let me go. My hand let go of his wrist. “Goodbye Hidan-san.” I bowed slightly before running off towards my home. I didn’t want to spend another second in his company. Why would Jashin-sama make his prophet so frightening? Was this another ‘screw you’ for ignoring his existence? Maybe I needed to fast again…

“Good afternoon Chise, how was class?” My mother asked when I walked into the shop. 

“Class was good, I’m going to go upstairs and do the writing exercises Kagame-sensei assigned us.” I smiled as convincingly as I could. Our home was located above the shop. 

It was when I was changing into comfortable clothing that I noticed the blood. Underneath my fingernails and sticky from congealing were thin half-moons of blood. Had I been gripping Hidan hard enough to break skin? Why didn’t he say anything? Surely, he’d complain if a ‘brat’ managed to grip him tight enough to draw blood. 

I stared at the dark red liquid contemplatively. Blood in Jashinism was a very powerful tool. The epitome of that power being Hidan’s ability to kill people using his own body as a voodoo doll of sorts. I took a step towards the bathroom. I should wash it off, only Jashin knows what kinds of things Hidan’s blood might hold. 

I raised one bloody fingernail to my mouth and licked it. I expected some kind of explosion. One that knocked me off my feet and completely warped the reality I was in. A spiritual awakening that would answer all my confused and frightened feelings about Hidan. Instead, all I tasted was the coppery tang of blood. I scrunched my nose in distaste and went into the bathroom. I washed my hands thoroughly of the blood. 

It was easy to pretend I wasn’t disappointed.


	5. A Tourist Village

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the fifth chapter! Thank you all for the support!

_Lunchtime_

It had been a few months since my encounter with Hidan, and the man had seemingly disappeared from the village. He was most likely on a mission, seeing as he was an active shinobi in the village. In a little over a year my class would graduate, and Yugakure would have twenty new genin. Something was bothering Miss. Kagame. She was acting different than usual. 

We were playing Go Fish, but her mind was elsewhere. There was a distant look in her eyes that she couldn’t quite cover up. It made me nervous. I knew that there wasn’t anything wrong with the village as a whole. I still spied on the council meetings, well okay…they knew I was there, but I was only a child so they dismissed my presence. 

It meant that her worry was on a more personal level. I didn’t think anything was wrong with my classmates, they were as hostile as they normally were. In fact, their animosity towards me had only grew. The areas in which I excelled at were ones that many of my young bully’s struggled with. 

I understood the complexities of theory and could easily apply it to the written portion of our education. It wasn’t that I was smarter than the others, I was simply older than them. They all assumed that I was a know-it-all. Their attitude towards me was understandable. People often picked on those they thought possessed something they lacked. 

“Miss. Kagame, is everything alright?” I asked, tired of the oppressive silence in the room. She blinked, coming back from wherever she had gone. 

“Hm? Oh, nothing sweetie.” She glanced at her cards, “Got any fours?” I glanced at my own handful. 

“Go fish.” She nodded and reached for another card, “Does it have something to do with Hidan?” If I hadn’t been staring at it, I would have missed slight halt in her hand reaching for the card. 

“No, I’m just trying to remember if I watered my plants before I left the house.” Miss. Kagame sounded completely sincere. I wouldn’t push the matter if she didn’t want to talk about it.

“Got a six?” I asked, resuming the game. She nodded and handed me a six of hearts. I paired it off and set the cards down. “Do we have kunoichi class today?”

Aki had developed an entirely new level of hatred towards me because of Kunoichi class. I was already an adult once in my life, I didn’t need to be taught how to be enticing once again. Though, I must say it was quite interesting learning how to seduce someone at the age of seven without the words ‘sexual’ or ‘seduction’ ever being said in the lesson. Aki berated me incessantly with jeers and taunts about my skill level. In all honesty it was exhausting dealing with it. 

“Yes we do, why do you ask?” Miss. Kagame kept her eyes on the cards she held. The game was going nowhere with her distracted as she was. I set my cards down. 

“I know why you’re teaching us to walk differently, and to lie better.” Miss. Kagame did her best to teach us young girls the tools a kunoichi should know. Tools that one day could dictate whether we saw another sunrise or not. Her eyes widened as her gaze jumped up to meet mine. “Almost all kunoichi of smaller villages are expected to go on ‘seduction’ missions.” She pursed her lips, most likely contemplating her next words. 

“Chise, seduction missions aren’t very common anymore.” My jaw clenched as an involuntary rush of agitation shot through me. I hated being lied to for the sake of being a child. It was the most frustrating aspect of living my life right now. 

“Don’t treat me like I’m an ignorant child. My Otou-san and Kaa-san fight about it all the time.” My mother didn’t want me to have to bear that kind of weight on my shoulders. “Some of the highest paying missions are for that very purpose. We cannot decline such missions because of how small our village is.” 

Miss. Kagame was staring at me as if she’d never seen me before. She’s never seen me act like the thirty-two year old woman I actually was. “What brought this on Chise?” Good, she was done trying to sugarcoat things. I looked down at the table, trying to articulate the frustration I felt. 

“The other girls don’t understand how important these skills are to our career as kunoichi. Most of them won’t even know what to do when their first seduction mission is assigned to them.” Aki was jealous of me because of my sufficiency in the lessons…she was so naïve. I wish I was like her, ignorant of what lay ahead. I wish I could pretend that Miss. Kagame was teaching us these skills so we could strut around like models we see in magazines. “They shouldn’t have to have that innocence taken away from them.”

“Ah, well those kinds of missions are assigned to-” I flashed her a sharp look. “They cannot assign you to a seduction mission until you turn ten.” She murmured quietly. A pit dropped in my stomach. Ten years old…by Jashin no wonder there weren’t more than a small handful of kunoichi in the village. 

“Aki and Hitomi wouldn’t be able to live with that kind of weight.” 

“I know, but we are shinobi and our duty is to serve our village.” 

_8th Birthday_

“Are you sure you don’t want a party? It’s not too late.” My mother urged again. My lips twitched down in a frown. 

“I’m sure.” The kids in my class would only show up because they’re parents would make them. My father was a prominent man in society, it’d be bad if their children snubbed his only daughter. 

“Okay,” She sighed in defeat, clasping her hands behind her back. I looked back down at the test doll in front of me. I was practicing the sequence of needles I needed to place in someone’s skin to relieve tension in their lower back. The nerve endings near the spine were very small and complicated. One wrong move and I could seriously hurt someone. “Ah, just a centimeter too low.” I cursed silently and corrected my mistake. “Are you going to start fasting against tomorrow?” 

“Mmhm,” I murmured as I continued placing needles into the faux skin of the doll. I had started fasting a least one week every two months. It helped keep away the terrifying anxiety that would overcome me when I thought too long about Jashin-sama. “It helps cleanse my body of any impurities.” I stopped telling them it was because of Jashin-sama. 

“You always are more energetic after a fast.” I nodded silently in agreement. A moment later I looked up at her expectantly. She inspected my work with a critical eye. “Perfect, just remember about the placement of the ninth needle.” I smiled at the small praise. She pulled the needles out of the doll. “Now, show me how to relieve a headache.” 

“Okay,” I nodded enthusiastically and move towards the doll’s head. I enjoyed my mother’s lessons. “When’s Tou-san coming home?” He had to work today, much to both mine and my mother’s disappointment. A tiny scowl appeared on her lips before disappearing. 

“Not until dinner.” Her eyes were a bit too focused on my work. They had another fight this morning. I’m not even entirely sure what it was about. I’m starting to believe they had me as a last ditch effort to try and reconcile their relationship. “I don’t mind having a party Chise.” I held back a sigh of exasperation. 

“I don’t want a party. I just want to celebrate my birthday with you and Tou-san.” It wasn’t a lie either. I liked spending time with my parents when they weren’t arguing. How they raised me was so vastly different than my old life’s slightly over-bearing parents that I almost never compared the two. In fact…I didn’t think much about my loved ones from my old life. 

I didn’t want to wallow in what I lost. I died in the old one. That chapter in my life was finished. I wasn’t going to lament or worry about them. People died more often in this world than in my old one. I needed to focus on my current life. 

“Oh Chise…you say such sweet things.” She smiled, a bit teary eyed because of my statement. If it wouldn’t mess up my practicing, I’m sure she would have hugged me by now. 

A few hours later my father came home from work. He looked even more haggard than usual. I could only imagine what might have come up during the council meeting. Maybe there was another pack of wolves picking off the livestock on a farm. 

“Ah, Happy birthday!” He smiled widely despite his fatigue and swung me up into a hug. “How’s my special girl?” I giggled childishly as he kissed my forehead and set me back down. 

“Great! Kaa-san gave me five stars for my lesson today!” I held up my hand, wiggling my fingers in emphasis. Who said I couldn’t act like an eight year old on her birthday? He gasped dramatically. 

“Wow, that’s very good Chise.” I nodded and rushed back towards the table. “Good evening dear.” He squeezed my mother’s shoulder in passing. 

“Good evening.” She replied coolly. He sat down at his normal spot. Mom had cooked all my favorites tonight. 

“Ah yes, I got you a present.” He fished a small box out of the folds of his yakuta. It was a neatly wrapped box in brown wrapping paper. 

“She’ll open presents after dinner.” My parents shared a look before he set the box down on the floor. We started eating immediately afterward. 

My presents included a new kimono for the festival season that was starting up in a few months. My mother always wanted me to look my best. It was a pale lilac color, the material either silk or some imitation of it. There were elegant white lilies stitched into the sleeves and hem of the kimono. Her other present was a pouch, so I could carry around my personal set of needles. 

I opened my father’s present last. He had bought me a necklace that hung low on my chest. The pendent was a hand crafted one inch silver star with sharpened edges just in case. “You’ll grow into the chain in time.” He explained as I carefully fingered the star. 

“It won’t get in the way while you’re at school?” My mother asked, staring at the necklace with a frown. She probably didn’t like the idea of me running around with a sharp object so close to my heart. 

“No, thanks Tou-san, Kaa-san. I love my presents.” I hugged them in turn. Despite their differences, they tried their best to raise me together. 

“Now, let’s eat some cake!” My mom announced. I really enjoyed my birthday. 

_2 weeks later – Village Meeting_

It seemed like the entire village was crammed into the council room with how loud it was. Really there was only around eighty or so. The noise in the room was overshadowed by the nervous tension in the air, setting the hairs on my neck at attention. I didn’t know what my father and the other council members wanted to announce. I wouldn’t even let myself entertain the idea of what might be going on. 

I was standing with my mom, who was standing a little off to the side in the front of the room. The people who were gathered were the remaining active shinobi and the prominent civilian figures in Yugakure. These were the people who actually ran the village, it was their voices that half of the council listened to. My father was standing with the other councilmen at the head of the room on the dais. Miss. Kagame was standing on the other side of the dais. I could easily pick out Hidan’s white head of hair amongst the fidgeting group of people. 

They were getting even more restless as time went on, but the council wanted to make sure that everyone got in before starting. I fingered the pendant around my neck as my stomach knotted uncomfortably. Today in class we had physical training, and all I wanted to do was go to sleep. 

“Can everyone be quiet please?” Kou spoke loudly and clearly over the noise. The room instantly grew quiet, they were all too curious about what the meeting was about. “Thank you, Atsushi.” He gestured towards the eldest council member who stepped forward. 

“First we’d like to thank you for coming here. We know it’s a great inconvenience.” He pursed his lips, “We lost a lot of good shinobi during this last war, May their souls rest in peace.” Many of the people murmured small prayers as well. “I have seen to it that this village would prosper, and I am proud of the community we have become.” He breathed in deeply and stepped back having said his piece. Yuki stepped forward next. 

“We’ve had many complaints about our involvement in the war, but as a hidden village we had to make certain sacrifices.” He ran a hand down his beard. “I want you all to know that after much deliberation and thought that we, the council, have come a decision regarding the future of our village.” A soft chattering started up in the room. “I am sure that our decision will bring peace to many of your hearts.” My brow furrowed slightly, a frown pulling at the corner of my lips. 

“It has come to our attention that it is unfair to burden the future generation with the problems of their predecessors.” My father stepped forward, his voice heavy and sure. “If another war were to break out, our losses would be even greater. With that in mind, we have decided to cease being a hidden village and disband the shinobi program.” The room was thrown into an uproar. Everyone was talking over one another, demanding answers. 

“People please! We can answer your questions but you have to stop talking!” Kou yelled over the crowd. They quieted back down to a low murmur. 

“What will we do for income? Most of our money comes from shinobi missions!” A man in the front of the congregated group shouted. I could see and hear a few people nodding and voicing their agreement. 

“We host some of the best hot springs in the entire land. If we were to become a civilian village we could open our doors to travelers. Think of all who will come here. Your crafts and products will finally be seen by more than just our village. Your very livelihoods will prosper.” My father made it sound grand. 

“What about the active shinobi?” A woman asked, and I recognized her as the one that came home injured. 

“They could either join the police force we want to make or retire.” His answer placating most of the agitated people in the room. “No one will be forced to risk their lives again. We are doing this for the future generations. So they might know some peace.” 

“By becoming a tourist joint?” Hidan’s voice carried over all other conversations. People started moving, parting around the man as he walked towards the dais. “What kind of cowardly shit is that?” There was a furious edge to his tone, his eyes narrowed in slits. 

“Hidan, we’re doing this so no more children will be scarred.” Kou spoke to the man. There was a familiarity to the way he spoke his name. He probably grew up with Hidan like Miss. Kagame did. 

“Scarred? The little brats know what they’re getting into when they sign up.” He scoffed rolling his eyes at the slightly older man. 

“We wish for the bloodshed and pain to stop, this will do so.” My father reasoned, earning the white-haired man’s attention again. 

“Pft, you’re all a bunch of fuckin’ cowards.” Hidan hissed, “You don’t know shit.” He leaned forward slightly, “Your precious children are about to join the nasty world and what, you decide that being a strong shinobi village is just too dangerous? You’re shitting on everyone who gave their life for your worthless hides’. You hide away in this pathetic room and presume to know suffering.” He scoffed, shaking his head. 

By this point my mother covered my ears, having realized that Hidan wouldn’t stop using foul language. I was annoyed, but I didn’t want to incur her wrath by trying to struggle out of her grip. I couldn’t hear what they were saying anymore. How would this escalate? What was going to happen? 

The argument was getting out of hand. Hidan and my father were practically shouting at one another. My father was red in the face, and eyes bulged from his anger. Hidan was gesturing wildly, accusingly. I still couldn’t hear what they were saying. Then Miss. Kagame, beautifully smiling Miss. Kagame, stepped forward and spoke to Hidan, guilt written clearly across her face. Betrayal flashed across the pale ninja’s face before fury took its place. His face twisted into an ugly terrifying scowl that darkened his eyes. Something snapped within Hidan. 

I barely saw the flash of metal before Miss. Kagame’s head was severed. It rolled away from her collapsing body. The entire room erupted in chaos. My mother and I stood transfixed in our spots, her hands still over my ears. Kou’s arm was severed as the blades buried themselves within his torso. Hidan’s triple bladed scythe did not stop its warpath. With a vicious tug the blades tore out of Kou’s flesh and was swung back towards its wielder. 

I could see people screaming and running, frantically trying to get out of the room. Some people tried to stop Hidan, but they soon met the same fate as Miss. Kagame and Kou. When the blades bit into my father’s flesh and took his head off, I felt my mother’s scream through the vibrations of her hands. We still did not move. Blood spurted from the wound, bathing his once pristine yakuta in red. I was shivering violently. My father had just been killed. 

Hidan’s scythe made a wide arc around the room, taking out people as it went. My vision was suddenly blurred as I felt a sharp shove and fell away from my mother. I barely managed to stay on my feet and twisted around in time to see the scythe impale her chest. She immediately coughed up blood, her sad brown eyes staring down at me. The blades disappeared, spraying me with warm liquid. She fell lifelessly to the floor. I followed, landing hard on my knees before her, unable to move or scream. My head dropped to my chest. 

I prayed that this nightmare would cease.

I was vaguely aware of the noise dying down, leaving an odd ringing in its absence. My eyes stayed trained on my lap, staring at my entangled hands. Flecks of blood stained my tanned skin. My knuckles were white with how hard I was holding them together. My hands became unfocused and hard to see before everything went black. 

_Hours Later_

A sudden rush of frigid wind woke me. I blinked blearily, trying to get my bearings. Where was I? It was dark, and I was outside if the chill was anything to go by. I felt like I was rocking slightly, almost bouncing. I became aware of the arms holding me up from my thighs. I was on someone’s back. What was going on? Why wasn’t I in the council room? Or dead? The familiar slicked back white hair that I faced was answer enough.

My eyes widened at the realization that Hidan had taken me from the room. He was running away from the massacre. The massacre that he had been the sole perpetrator for. The vision of my father’s head being sliced from his body flashed through my mind. I bucked wildly against the man’s back, propelling myself away from him. 

As I landed with a painful thud on my butt, I realized how stupid the move was. If he had been travelling in the trees I would have been seriously injured. “What the hell kid?” He demanded turning around to glare at me, like he wasn’t covered in blood. The squelching sound of Miss. Kagame’s head hitting the ground echoed in my ears. 

“Take me back! I’m not going anywhere with you!” I demanded, my vision swimming as tears pooled in my eyes. “They’re dead…mama, papa…Miss. Kagame…they’re all dead! Why did you kill them!?” My voice sounded shrill even to my own ears. 

“Those fucking cowardly heathens deserved what they got.” Even through my panicking, I picked up the fact it was the first time I heard Hidan say the word ‘heathen’. My chest tightened as anger began to coil within my stomach. 

“Fuck you those were my parents!” I screamed at him. Hatred burned in my veins, fueling my rising fury. I launched myself at the elder man, intent on inflicting as much pain as possible. He killed my parents and Miss. Kagame. They were the only people who took care of me in this world. They were the only people I loved. 

He hit the ground with an audible thud. My fists struck out, beating anything they came in contact with. Hidan’s nose cracked noisily, and my knuckles throbbed. The son of a bitch killed them and he had the audacity to call them cowardly. I caught sight of his rosary, it’d gotten twisted near his neck and the pendant was resting on the leafy ground beside him.

It reminded me of the necklace around my own neck. If I hadn’t been so invested in my rage, the thought would have never crossed my mind, but you know what they say about pain and anger mixing. The chain on my necklace was long enough that I had enough leverage to use it as a weapon without taking it off. I gripped the sharpened star, glaring hatefully down at the man beneath me. 

Red eyes stared emotionlessly back. At any other time, his lack of irritation or show of pain would have intrigued me, it only served to piss me off more right now. I raised the star before slamming it down into his neck. I barely heard his coughed choking as I did it again and again and again. I stabbed Hidan until I couldn’t lift my arms.

I released the bloodied star. My arms were covered in his blood. My face wet with my tears and his blood. Blood was pouring out of the wounds in copious amounts. His pale skin was stained red. I could see his throat working as his body tried to take in new oxygen. Feel the jerks of his chest each time he choked on another mouthful of blood. His eyes were still fixed on me. 

I shifted off of Hidan’s chest and promptly threw up. The bile burned the back of my throat. I screamed. I screamed for the sudden loss of my parents, screamed out my frustration and anger, and the hollowness that came with releasing that fury on Hidan. Why didn’t I feel any better? I screamed until my voice went out and my throat ached. 

The first person I ever killed was Hidan.


	6. Away From Home

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the sixth chapter! Everyone's comments and kudos bring me joy. I hope everyone enjoys!

I curled my legs up, hugging my knees to my chest. I could feel the ground beneath me grow soggy from the blood spilled. I knew what I was getting myself into when I decided to become a ninja. I knew that I’d have to take a life at some point in my life. I didn’t think that my first killing would be so violent, so _personal_. I wanted Hidan to hurt, to feel the physical manifestation of the emotions curdling in my veins. I chanced a glance at the still man, my stomach flipping uneasily at the sight. He was actually dead. 

I refocused my attention to the dead leaves in front of me. I knew this was going to happen. I knew that Hidan would kill them when they announced that they were bowing out of the shinobi world. I could have done something, warned them about the impending explosion of Hidan’s anger. Maybe then…maybe they wouldn’t be dead right now. 

Hidan twitched beside me. My gaze slid towards him once again. His body shuddered again before his head flopped to the side and he gave a violent cough. Blood spurted from his lips. He groaned and slowly sat himself up, “Fucken shit that hurts…” he muttered one hand running over the slowly closing wounds on his throat. His voice was hoarse and rattled oddly. Hidan coughed a few times, probably trying clear his lungs of all the blood. “What the fuck were you stabbing me with, a dull pencil?” I took it as a rhetorical question. 

“Why did you take me?” I asked dully, exhausted from the day’s events. I longed for my bed at home. For my large comforter that dwarfed my small frame. His gaze flickered towards mine briefly. 

“I fucken felt like it, that’s why.” His answer was deflective. 

“Bullshit, you don’t even like kids.” My jaw clenched in irritation. A smirk twitched on his lips. 

“Such foul language from an innocent child.” I grunted, having half a mind to tell him that I wasn’t actually a child. My body may be eight years old, but my mind was decades older. I squeezed my knees tighter to my chest, maybe it was time to stop acting like a little kid. 

“A few minutes prior I killed you, I’d say my ‘innocence’ is up for debate.” I retorted letting go of my knees. 

“You don’t look too surprised that I’m alive right now.” Who knew Hidan liked to talk so indirectly? I pursed my lips thoughtfully. I had to stop pretending now. No more dumbing down my intellect or pretending that I didn’t fully grasp the weight of a situation. I couldn’t act like an eight-year-old in Hidan’s presence anymore…not with so many unknown factors in the works. 

“It’s said that Jashin’s chosen prophet is turned pale from his blessing and given immortality. You’re albino.” I pointed out with a small shrug. “I connected the dots.” Dots I shouldn’t technically be aware were there. 

“Mmm.” He hummed thoughtfully, staring at me with that same unnerving curiosity. Hidan groaned tiredly as he stood up, dusting off his pants. He looked like he’d stepped out of a Slasher flick, covered in blood the way he was. “Get up, we still have a lot of ground to cover.” I scowled at his command but stood all the same. 

“Where are we going?” I didn’t have any delusions about being able to run away from him. He could easily over power me. He was easily a hundred times faster and stronger than I. I was only able to kill him because he _let_ me kill him. The thought made my stomach churn. 

“A temple. Think you can keep up?” A temple…did that mean he was taking us to Jashin’s temple? 

“Are we going to-?” My words cut off as anxiety seized me. What would the temple of the chaotic God be like? I suspected it would resemble Clive Barker’s Hellraiser. With the priests being mutilated and grotesque in nature. They’d offer to show outsiders the pleasures of what following Jashin could bring, all the while never telling the victim’s just _what_ those supposed pleasures entitled. 

“Ya, we’re going to Jashin-sama’s temple.” My mouth was suddenly dry. 

“I don’t think I could run right now.” I told him, not knowing what else to say. The prospect of seeing the temple was exciting in a nerve wracking sort of way. 

“Then get on.” He offered me his back. I eyed him warily. He had been piggybacking me before I’d woken up, but the thought of consciously getting so close to the man made my skin tighten. “Hurry the fuck up, we don’t got all night.” My teeth clacked as I clenched my jaw again. With a little maneuvering I climbed onto his back before hooking my ankles and arms together. Hidan’s hands settled onto my thighs as he adjusted my position slightly before he started running again. 

The wind was blowing hard and had a severe chill to it. The climate in Yugakure was almost never this harsh. The natural hot springs that ran all throughout the mountainous village kept the temperature at a more temperate climate. I tried to recall all my geography lessons, wondering what country we were in for the weather to be so unfavorable tonight. 

I’d never been out of the village before. My parents never needed to go out of the village for anything. All of our family lived in Yugakure, and they had their supplies shipped to the store. Miss. Kagame only ever spoke about the Five Great Nations and The Land of Hot Water. We were still in a forest, but due to poor lighting I couldn’t make out what kinds of trees there were. We could be headed into Fire country, seeing as it was mostly covered by a forest, but the chill in the air told an entirely different story. 

I was tempted to ask Hidan what direction we were heading in, but I didn’t want to talk to him more than I had to. He was a killer. There was nothing to excuse his behavior. There was no reason to kill the council members, or the other people in the council meeting room. He got angry and decided to kill them all…he threw a fucking temper tantrum. 

“You tryin’ to kill me again brat?” Hidan coughed slightly. I became acutely aware of how tightly my arms were curled around his neck. I loosened my hold without a word, opting to hold onto his shoulders instead. 

We moved silently through the night. I could scarcely hear the crunch of Hidan’s footsteps as he ran. There was a crescent moon out tonight, hardly illuminating the land. I wondered if Hidan was moving by sheer instinct or using some kind of ninjutsu to traverse through the near pitch blackness. 

I must have fallen asleep, because the next thing I knew I was being dropped to the ground. “Ack!” I squawked as I tumbled onto the dirt. “What the hell!?” I demanded, glaring at the man standing in front of me. 

“Clean yourself up.” Hidan gestured towards his left. I looked over, making out the soft sounds of a stream. He moved towards the water, squatting down in front of it and began the process of washing the blood off his skin. I must have been moving too slow, because Hidan barked at me to wash the fuck up.

“Not that you’d notice, but my kimono is saturated in blood. No amount of washing will get it out.” I pointed out to him as I kneeled down by the stream. I hissed when my fingers touched the icy water. I grit my teeth and dove my hands under the surface. 

When I had washed as much as I could off my arms, face, and neck I stood, my teeth chattering from the chill that had set in. God it was freezing outside. My body shivered piteously as I waited for Hidan to tell me what we were going to do next. He splashed water onto his face once more before standing up. When he turned in my direction, his gaze traveled the length of my body. 

“Fuck,” He muttered running a hand through his hair, as if to make sure the perfectly slicked back hair hadn’t flopped out of place. “I don’t suppose you got anything on under that damned thing?” I gave him the flattest stare I could muster. “Alright, shit…” He ran his hand through over his hair again. “Get back on, I’ll figure it out when we get there.” He turned around, bending his knees slightly to make it easier for me to get on. “Shit! Your hands are cold.” He complained as I got myself comfortable on his back. 

“Surprised you can feel the difference, seeing that block of ice you got for a heart.” Hidan snorted amusedly. 

“I don’t have to carry you.” He threatened, shutting me right up. He started running again, the wind bit bitterly into my damp clothing. A shudder wracked my body, and I curled closer into Hidan’s back hoping to leech some warmth off of him. “Go to sleep brat, we’ll reach the village soon enough.” Against my better judgment, I found myself listening to his words. The night’s events and the emotional turmoil had thoroughly exhausted my mind and body, and I succumbed to the call of sleep. 

_The Next Day_

Brightness speared through the darkness in my mind instantly making my temples throb. I groaned wordlessly at the pain. It felt as if a battering ram was surely but slowly breaking through my skull. I threw my arm over my closed eyes, hoping to dispel the sudden onset of the headache. The pressure of my arm against my eyes only added to my discomfort. I groaned again.

I carefully opened my eyes being mindful to twist my head away from the source of the offending light. My vision was still slightly blurry from sleep, but I could make out a Hidan sitting by a table with his scythe laid out before him. I blinked slowly, wondering where his weapon might have been last night in the forest. I didn’t recall seeing it. 

The sight of the red blades sent an unpleasant shiver through my body. The memories from last night were sharp and painful, reminding me of an ill-placed acupuncture needle. I winced outwardly as my chest constricted and my breath hitched. Salty tears burned my already raw eyes, and my lip began to quiver with the force of the oncoming sobs. 

They were really dead.

I felt his eyes on me. Felt the disdain and annoyance he held for my current state of mind. “‘Bout time you woke up brat.” I didn’t have the breath to retort, couldn’t find the necessary muscles to pull air into my lungs. My headache grew tenfold as the ache in my body began to take hold. “One of the women changed you. Slept like a fuckin’ rock through it.” It was a small relief to know I would not have to look at the ruined kimono. The hollow throb quickly overrode any other feeling. I was trapped within my own torment. 

I knew they were going to die. 

I did nothing to stop it. 

I didn’t want this pain, didn’t want to carry the guilt. It would eat and eat away at me until I buckled under the weight of it. I could already feel its oppressive weight bearing down upon me. I could hardly breathe, let alone function. If I didn’t stop the pain now…this would be my undoing. 

I could fight against this…fight against the pain. I knew the massacre was going to occur. It was possible to push away the all the hurt in my chest. I knew what Hidan would do to them. I could shove it all away into a dark corner of my mind. They were dead. I _had_ to fight against this pain.

It was all my fault. 

_“You have six months at most…I’m terribly sorry.”_

The sudden memory of when I had been diagnosed with pancreatic cancer flashed through my mind. I had almost been swallowed by despair than too. I resigned myself to my fate. Accepted that death was inevitable and through that I found blessed euphoria. The aching hollowness had been replaced with such beautiful numbness that it couldn’t be anything less than bliss. My mother called it shock, but I knew it as my lifeline. 

This wasn’t the first tragedy I had experienced. The loss of my new parents and Miss. Kagame was the same as the loss of my previous life. They were dead just as I had died, and nothing was going to change that. But unlike my diagnosis…I didn’t _have_ to die this time around. 

I took in a proper breath, relief flooding my system as the panic and throbbing receded completely. Nothing would come out of me lamenting about my losses. Death was a natural part of human existence…even more so in this world than my old one. I sat up, noting that I was in a nondescript white kimono. I met Hidan’s gaze. “Nice to know you’re not a pervert.” 

“Fuck you kid.” His lips pulled into a smirk amused by my insult. “Besides, that woman was more than willing to _help_.” An almost devilish grin spread on his face. I blinked once, twice before I gagged. 

“I did not need to know that! That’s disgusting!” I exclaimed shaking my head vigorously. Anything sexually related was simply…awkward for me right now. 

I remember how it feels to be turned on, lustful towards people, and driven to the piques of ecstasy through physical intimacy, but my current eight-year-old body simply didn’t _have_ any of those physical or even mental reactions to that stuff. I could still think of people as cute, beautiful, or handsome, but there was no sexual attraction. It simply wasn’t _there_. The discrepancy between my two lives was staggering and as such I tended to shy away from anything related to that topic. “Did you seriously sleep with a housekeeper?” 

“No, are you kidding me? Jashin-sama would have my head if I engaged in such acts, but I couldn’t resist. That look on your face was fucking priceless.” I scowled then. Why the hell was Hidan such an asshole? His statement also piqued my curiosity. 

“So Jashin-sama frowns upon…upon…um…” My cheeks burned red as I stumbled over my words. It only added to Hidan’s mirth. I wonder why he was acting so…playful, if that’s the right word. 

“As his _most_ faithful follower,” He was so full of himself, “I can only engage in sexual intercourse,” Cue leery smile and more blushing, “If she’s a follower as well, or if I plan on sacrificing her directly afterward.” The mention of sacrifices sobered up the color in my cheeks. Hidan killed the women he had sex with…unless they were a Jashinist as well. It also sounded like he didn’t have sex all that often…maybe he didn’t like killing them? I dismissed the question as immediately as it appeared. Hidan _lived_ to sacrifice people in the name of Jashin. 

“How long until we reach the temple?” I asked, done speaking to him about Jashinism for the time being. 

“If we leave within the hour, I’d say a by the end of the day.” His eyebrows had furrowed in thought. I stared at him for a few moments, wondering if he’d say anything else. His eyes lifted towards me. “Hurry the fuck up.” With a scoff, I scooted off the bed. 

The kimono was a size too large for me, the white material threatening to fall off my shoulders. I reflexively tightened the sash around my middle, hoping that I’d be able to keep it in place. I glanced down at the oversized clothing, finally taking notice that my necklace wasn’t around my neck. 

“Where’s my star?” I asked, wild panic beginning to rise in my throat. How had I lost it? That was my daddy’s last present to me. Hidan rolled his eyes and grabbed something off the table before tossing it to me. I caught it easily enough. It was my necklace.

“It was covered in blood,” He explained, I nodded absentmindedly slipping the metal chain around my neck. 

“I need new clothing, I can’t run in this.” I found my sandals by one of the doors in the room. I assumed it was the door to the hallway or outside. 

“You’re not runnin’ I’ll carry you again.” My mouth twisted in a frown. I didn’t want to have to rely on Hidan to carry me again. 

“I can run on my own.” I stated firmly, my eyes narrowing. His own reflected my irritation. 

“You can’t keep up kid and I ain’t slowing my fuckin’ pace because you want to be independent. Suck it up.” I huffed, shoving my feet in my sandals. 

“I still need new clothing.” 

“The Priests’ll give you clothes.” He sounded exasperated. I turned towards him in time to see him seal his scythe in a scroll. A small puff of air rose from the seal as the scythe disappeared. Ah, so that’s where he put it. 

For being accused of being slow multiple times throughout the anime, Hidan sure knew how to move when he wanted to. We were out of the room and on our way to the temple only twenty minutes later. I don’t think he paid for the room. I hated being piggy-backed, but Hidan had a point (not that I’d ever admit that). With the pace he was going, I’d never be able to keep up. I didn’t have the stamina to run for an entire day. 

Also, getting a free ride gave me time to think. Hidan was taking me to Jashin’s temple. A place that was never mentioned in _Naruto_. I have no idea what I was about to walk into. My knowledge about the religion was miniscule at best. I didn’t know what anything would be like when we got there. Anytime I tried to picture what Jashin’s temple might look like I keep seeing _Hellraiser_ -esque type rooms, and priests that were mutilated beyond the human imagination. Would one of the priests’ have nails systematically protruding from his skin with a voice like liquid gold and eyes lit with malicious glee? 

“Damn brat, wouldja stop trying to choke me?” Hidan grumbled. I hastily relaxed my arms unaware I had, yet again, started choking him. I tried to push away my morbid thoughts. I’d be there soon enough, there was no use worrying about what the temple would be like. 

Why couldn’t I have been born into a well-known village? I have a vast knowledge about all of the major Hidden villages. I actually _know_ what to expect in the other villages, but no…I was born in Yugakure. Hometown to one religious murdering traitor, whose village was only ever mentioned in passing, also whose religion was never fully expounded upon besides the basics. He just so happened to kidnap me after said traitorous acts. Hell, even if I was born in Ame, I would know what to expect. 

What use was my knowledge if I was never in a position to use it to my advantage? I frowned slightly as the question went through my mind. I could change the entire plotline of _Naruto_ if I wanted to. I knew everything that would transpire, but if I changed too much than my knowledge would be useless. Who says I have to change anything anyhow? 

I quite liked how _Naruto_ went, the character deaths’ and all. I pushed the thoughts away to think about at a different time. Anything cannon that I might know of wouldn’t happen for years and years to come. I had plenty of time to contemplate what I wanted to do with my knowledge of this world’s future. My stomach growled unhappily, reminding me that I hadn’t eaten anything since lunch the previous day. 

“Hidan I’m hungry.” I announced wondering if he’d be willing to wander towards a road and find a small rest stop that sold food. 

“Well tough shit, I’m not stopping.” I frowned at the back of his head. He was an asshole. 

“Look, for whatever reason you’ve stolen me away from my home, and therefore you are now responsible for my wellbeing. I’d love to be able to take care of myself, but at this point in time that’s not a viable option.” I ranted, hating that I couldn’t just part ways with the religious homicidal asshole. This world was dangerous, and I wasn’t stupid enough to think I could make it on my own. 

“Damn kid, when’d you start talking like an old woman?” My cheeks burned involuntarily. Only Miss. Kagame ever commented on my abnormally high intelligence. I’ve heard the word genius tossed around when my parents were fighting. I wasn’t a genius, only old. I wasn’t smarter than the others, I simply had more experience in life so I _knew_ more than they could by default. 

“Around the same time, I witnessed you murder my family.” The silence that followed my jab was uncomfortable. It was obviously the wrong thing to say to the man. I could feel him tense beneath me. “I’m sorry, I’m just…irritable.” I don’t know why I was the one apologizing, but I felt…guilty for bringing up the massacre. 

“The temple isn’t too far off. You’ll get food then.” I nodded silently, despite him not being able to see me do so. Did Hidan regret killing them last night?


	7. First Impressions

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the comments and the kudos! I'm so happy that people are liking the story as much I liked writing it. Enjoy the seventh chapter.

_Sundown – Jashin’s Temple_

“Oi, brat wake up we’re here.” I jerked awake, lifting my head away from Hidan’s shoulder as it was roughly jostled. I blinked bleary eyed, trying to make sense of the world around me. 

The sun hung low in the sky, giving the illusion of everything having an orange-red glow to it. I’d fallen asleep sometime during the run. I climbed off Hidan’s back, taking in more of my surroundings. We were at the edge of a forest, where boulders and craggy rocks outnumbered the large plants. A rhythmic crashing of water against rock and the salty taste to the air tipped me off that we were near the ocean. Where were we? 

“This is it?” I was expecting something more…spectacular. At least some form of a building. I couldn’t see a temple like structure in sight. Hidan scoffed, prompting me to look at him. 

“No, but you’re walking the rest of the way.” Without even so much as another word, he started towards the sound of the waves crashing on the rocks. I soon realized we were on a cliff that stood hundreds of meters away from the water below. Hidan lowered himself off of the edge of the cliff. “What are you doing!?” I balked at the pale man, wondering if he’d lost his mind. 

“This is the way to the entrance, follow every move I make or else you’ll fall to your death.” He spoke matter-of-factly, continuing to lower himself onto the cliff face. 

The temple must have been inside of the cliff. My curiosity got the best of me, and I followed Hidan’s lead. Once I was precariously clinging to the jutting rocks, I glanced to my right seeing Hidan slowly making a diagonal pathway down the cliff. I gulped, resisting the urge to glance downward and did the same. 

“Eep!” I squeaked as my foot got caught on the oversized kimono once again. The article of clothing was out to kill me, I was sure of it. My fingernails dug painfully into the slightly slippery rock I was holding onto as I carefully worked on setting my foot down on the foothold once more. 

Hidan wasn’t having any trouble scuttling his way across the rocks. He also knew how to walk on water and climb trees without any hands. Hidan knew how to literally ‘stick’ himself onto a surface to help with climbing. I wouldn’t have learned those essential skills until I was put onto a team after graduation. I wasn’t due to graduate until next year. I’m convinced he’s getting back at me for something I did. 

“C’mon brat, it’s not that hard.” Hidan was thirty or so feet below me, standing stationary. 

“Says you!!” I shouted back, measuring each of my movements. “Why the hell is this so hard!?” I slowly lowered another foot, searching for the next foothold. 

“If you can’t make it to the entrance than you’re not worthy of stepping foot into Jashin-sama’s temple.” So, this was a test. The crafty bastard. He was testing to see if I had what it took to even step _foot_ into the temple? The sight of bloodied hooks flying out of the darkness to bury themselves into my skin flashed through my mind. Ya…totally not helping my apprehension of what was in store for me. That is assuming I made it to the front entrance safely. 

“Screw you and your test! I _told_ you I needed new clothing.” I grumbled, being mindful not to step on the loose fabric of the kimono again. My fingers ached and my shoulders were burning from the workout they were getting. I lowered my foot again and was met with air. “Where’s the next foothold?” 

“You can jump now.” Hidan stated calmly. He sounded a lot closer than before. 

“Jump? Are you insane? I’ll die!” My voice was shrill. Did I take the wrong step somewhere? How can I not have anything left to climb down to?

“You are short kid, you can’t reach the ground.” My mini-freak out was cut short by his words. I looked downward cautiously, and sure enough there was Hidan standing not six feet below. I was hanging in front of the entrance. 

“Oh.” I let go, bending my knees to properly land on my feet. The sounds of the waves on the rocks were a lot louder here. Hidan was smirking as I hastily tried to fix my kimono. The white material was ruined. 

There was a small alcove in the cliff face, where we were standing now. A dilapidated wooden door was situated in the back of the tiny cave. The inverted triangle inscribed within the circle carved neatly into the stone beside it. The only indication that this was a temple. “C’mon Gurou should still be up.” I followed behind Hidan as he opened the door. 

An odd scent wafted out from the tunnel that was revealed. It wasn’t completely dark, seeing as there were lit candles dotting the walls. My gaze traveled back and forth, trying to discern where the scent could be coming from. The scent grew stronger the farther we walked underground. It was almost familiar but…something was different about it. 

The tunnel opened up suddenly into a large round room. I barely concealed my gasp as I took in the sight before me. All around the walls were candles and incense burning on natural shelves that the stone cave created. Far above our heads were stalagmites. The soft yellow lighting of the candles barely even reaching the reed like stones. There were other tunnel openings around the room, but what caught my attention was the statue carved out of the far wall. 

I was instantly reminded of the Egyptian God Anubis. The man was sitting in a throne, his chest bare, and only wearing a cloth skirt. His head was that of a wolf, two glittering rubies were inlaid into the stone to represent his eyes. Around his neck lay his symbol, while a scythe was held in his left hand. His right was held open upon his knee, as if waiting for a gift. So, this was how Jashin was represented. 

I noticed the people next. Two men were praying in front of the statue, their heads bowed. They were shirtless, and their dark pants had been rolled above their knees. They were kneeling in what looked like shiny yellow sand. Hidan moved towards the two men. I followed him, awestruck by what I was seeing. 

I walked at a much slower pace than Hidan, still taking in my surroundings. It was all strangely beautiful, with the soft candle light and oddly pleasant smell that permeated the entire room. Hidan rolled up his pant legs before kneeling beside the two men. The two men didn’t even react to his presence. It only took a few moments of Hidan praying before I noticed others coming out of the different tunnel openings. 

None of them paid me any attention as they converged in front of the statue. They, like Hidan and the two men, were all shirtless and only wore pants. They also rolled their pants up before lowering themselves onto their knees on the yellow sand. I frowned slightly, if I remembered correctly didn’t one kneel on something as punishment of some sort? I think the Catholics made people do that when they sinned. 

It wasn’t until I saw the oozing liquid move across the floor did I realize exactly _what_ they were kneeling in. It wasn’t yellow sand, but glass that reflected the yellow light of the candles. They were kneeling in crushed glass. The floor was sloped in such a way that the blood congregated into a gouge in the ground. I followed the pathway of the gouge with my eyes, noticing that Jashin’s symbol had been carved into the flooring of the cavern. 

I remembered why the scent was so familiar now. It was the smell of blood, the same scent that had saturated the air in the council room. The sharp tang of it was mingled with the sweet musk of incense here, enhancing the blood’s scent. My stomach rolled uneasily at the thought. Kneeling in glass wasn’t punishment, but a show of their devotion. Spilling their blood was paying veneration to Jashin. 

That _strangeness_ that I always felt around Hidan grew to suffocating levels the longer they prayed. I was rooted in place too enthralled with what I was witnessing, too frightened to gain any of their attention. None of their eyes were on me, yet my skin tightened with the intuitive feeling of someone watching me. I shyly lifted my gaze to the statue of the god I fasted for. The ruby eyes stared straight ahead. Could it be Jashin staring at the outsider in his temple? 

I was being paranoid, there was nothing divine happening. It was the silence coupled with the unfamiliar surroundings that was putting me on high alert. Except I’ve always felt disconcerted whenever I was in Hidan’s presence. There was always something more than meets the eye with him. The priests had congregated around him almost immediately after he had begun praying. 

Would Jashin-sama ever cease to amaze me with the sway he held over this world? 

“Hidan-sama, it is a surprise to see you so soon after the Autumn Rituals.” I blinked rapidly, realizing that while I was contemplating the power of Jashin, the priests had all concluded their prayer. They began to trickle back into the other tunnels. Hidan was standing beside an older man who looked to be in his fifties. His exposed skin was weathered and scarred from age and experience. 

“Something came up,” Hidan’s eyes must have shifted in my direction, because the old man’s gaze was suddenly on me. I resisted the urge to shrink away from the dark irises. “Chise come here.” 

My legs moved without my permission to do so. I didn’t want to get any closer to them. I didn’t want go further into the temple. I didn’t want to venture any closer to the stone statue. They were standing just outside of the now bloodied glass area in front of the statue. 

“Hmm, so this is the girl you told me about.” He had a stern face and shrewd eyes. I felt like I was being sized up for something. My eyebrows shot up as I processed his words. Hidan spoke to this priest about me? “What is your name girl?” I barely stopped myself from flinching. This man exuded authority. 

“Chise Tokuda…” I murmured, proud that I was able to keep any kind of stutter out of my voice. A frown pulled at the corner of his lips. “Who are you, mister?” What happened to _not_ acting like an eight-year-old huh? I berated myself for the childish way I asked the older man. 

“I am an Elder Priest, Gurou.” Oh…so this was the man Hidan had mentioned earlier. He stared at me for a few more moments before speaking. “Takahiro,” a younger priest, who looked to be in his late twenties, materialized out of the shadows. Were these men ninja? Takahiro’s skin was also scarred, albeit to a lesser degree than Gurou. “See to it that Chise is settled in properly.” His scrutinizing eyes fell on me once more, “Give her whatever else is left of dinner.” 

“Yes, Elder.” Takahiro gave a short but deep bow of his head before looking at me. A tiny smile bloomed on his face. “Shall we go Chise?” I blinked, looking between him and Hidan. 

“Get goin’ kid I have to speak with Gurou.” I nodded and stepped towards Takahiro allowing him to lead me further into the temple. 

It only took me a few minutes of following behind Takahiro to become convinced the temple doubled as a maze. There were so many twists, turns, and off shoots of the tunnel we were on. I had no idea just how far underground the temple went, but whoever had created it was either a genius or cruel. I’d go for the second one. At some point I wasn’t entirely sure which way would lead back to the main chamber. Takahiro didn’t speak a word to me the entire time, only looking over his shoulder every so often to make sure I was still behind him. 

“This is the kitchen and dining area, I thought you might like something to eat first.” The room he led me to wasn’t as large as the main chamber, but it was still rather impressive. A long stone table was set in the middle, with benches on either side. On the left side of the room was the kitchen portion with a stove, counters, and a large sink. Two men were standing by the sink, most likely cleaning off the dishes. “You can have a seat at the table, I’ll bring you your food.” He gently pushed me towards the table. 

I sat at the edge of the stone table, my nerves battling my hunger for the right to my appetite. How large was the temple? Were the fifteen men that had gathered around Hidan all the priests here? Were there only men in the temple? Gurou had told Takahiro to get me settled in. Did Hidan plan on staying here for a while? 

The questions swirled uselessly around my mind, never coming up with an answer. One thing was comforting about all this though, the temple wasn’t like _Hellraiser_ at all. Well…at least the priests aren’t. I have no idea about the rituals or going on’s in the temple itself. I briefly glanced towards the kitchen area of the dining room. The two men there were conversing quietly with Takahiro. 

Even with the natural acoustics of the stone, I couldn’t make out what they were saying. The scars on their skin were highlighted by the flames of the candles, making them look more pronounced. So far, all the priests had been scarred. It had to be a part of the faith. A form of worship. “Here you go,” Takahiro set down a bowl of soup. “Only the broth was left, but you’ll get a full meal for breakfast.” 

“Thank you.” I murmured, bringing a spoonful of the broth up to my mouth. It was lukewarm, but surprisingly tasty. I immediately took another spoonful. “This is good!” My stomach suddenly became ravenous. I ate the bowl of broth quicker than I’d eaten anything in my entire life. When it was empty, I had the mind to look slightly embarrassed. I probably looked like some kind of animal eating as fast as I did. 

“See leas’the young’on enjoyed my soup.” One of the men who was by the sink spoke up as he, and his partner made their way towards Takahiro and I. The man who spoke had broad shoulders, and his face was distorted by four thick scars running diagonally down from his left eyebrow to his chin. His hair was dark and kept at a close shave to his scalp. Despite his intimidating look, I couldn’t sense any of the same sternness in him that I did Gurou. 

“She’s half starved, of course she’d like that swamp water you call soup.” His companion had pale blonde eyebrows that rose and fell with his eye roll. His hair was of the same blonde and cut in a bowl shape around his head. He was fair skinned and had a soft face, the complete opposite of the other man. This man though had an impressive amount of circular pocked scars dotting his torso and arms. I shuddered to think about what made those. 

“You woul’nt know good food if it whack’d ya in the head.” He scoffed with an eye roll of his own. His gaze settled on me when it returned from the ceiling. “So yer the lil’one that’s comin’ ta stay with us, huh?” 

“Don’t be a brute, introduce yourself before you start on with your questions.” The blonde man chastised his companion. “I’m Jun.” He smiled in greeting but didn’t offer his hand. Not many adults offered their hands for children to shake anyhow. “The impolite one is Kenta.” Kenta, as the scar faced one turned out to be, huffed at Jun’s jab. 

“Pretentious ass.” He growled out, albeit his voice held a teasing tone to it. Then, as if realizing what he said, all three of the men bowed their heads, hands grasping the rosary around their neck and murmured silently to themselves a prayer. A moment later they lifted their heads back up as if nothing happened. 

Did they just pray because Kenta cussed? That made absolutely no sense…Hidan cussed all the time. Hell, he took Jashin’s name in vain to boot, yet they all just bowed their heads and prayed as if they were Catholics seeking forgiveness. Just how different was Hidan from the priests here? 

“Jun, Kenta as I was saying earlier this is Chise. High Priest Hidan brought her in.” Takahiro almost sounded smug to my ears. Judging from how Jun and Kenta’s eyes widened, there was something shocking or surprising about what he said. 

“Truly? You’ve travelled here with High Priest Hidan?” Jun’s dark blue eyes were alit with excited wonderment. I frowned slightly, what was so great about Hidan? 

“Uh…yes. He kidnapped me.” I was _not_ going to paint the man in a pleasing light. He’d taken me away from my home and forcibly kept me by his side. The word ‘kidnapped’ didn’t even phase them. 

“Man, yer very lucky lil’ one. Elder Gurou has been tryin’ for years ta get High Priest Hidan to take a travellin’ partner, and now he comes wit’ his own!” Kenta sounded just as amazed as Jun. Travelling partner? What the hell were they talking about? I looked between the three men, thoroughly confused by their behavior. 

“What’s so special about Hidan?” The only thing noteworthy about that man was- Oh…that made a lot of sense. Hidan was Jashin-sama’s Chosen. In essence Hidan was their equivalent to Jesus…a Messiah of sorts. Didn’t I feel like an idiot for forgetting that? 

“Jashin-sama gave High Priest Hidan his holiest blessing.” Takahiro didn’t further explain Hidan’s ‘specialness’ seeing as that one sentence wrapped it up quite nicely. 

“Oh,” I answered simply to answer. 

“Let’s go. You must be tired from your journey, and you still need new clothing.” We stood from the table. 

“We must talk tomorrow, alright?” Jun nodded affirming his question and started back towards the sink my bowl in hand. 

“Have a good night lil’ one.” Kenta gave a short bow of his head before following his companion. 

My initial thoughts on the priests were that they were surprisingly normal. Other than their damaged skin, there wasn’t much out of the ordinary with them. They were all obviously familiar with one another, but they weren’t hostile towards me, an outsider, like I’d expect someone from a religious group would be. They prayed for forgiveness for cussing and were polite. If all the priests were like Kenta and Jun then Hidan was a terrible representation of the religion. 

Takahiro led me back the way we came from, or at least I assumed it’s where we came from, before turning down an off shoot of the tunnel that he hadn’t done so before. He didn’t speak as we walked, and I wasn’t too sure on what to talk about. Now that I was fed, lethargy was beginning to set in. The nap I’d taken on Hidan wasn’t enough to rid myself of the exhaustion that had set in my body. 

We stopped in front of a warped wooden door. The air was stale and humid, there probably wasn’t a whole lot of air flow in the tunnels. It was no wonder the scent of blood and incense never left. We stepped into the dark room, the soft light of the hallway barely penetrating the blackness. Takahiro, however, knew exactly where to go and soon the room was lit up in the same manner as the rest of the temple was, through candles. 

The room was small. There was a single futon laid out on a metal cot pushed against the far side of the wall. A chest was set at the one end of the futon. A miniature version of the statue in the main chamber was carved into the wall, probably made for the occupant of the room to have a personal alter. On the wall sharing the door there stood an old writing desk and rickety looking chair. It was functional and nothing more. 

“You will rest here. There should be child sized clothing in the trunk and a blanket. I, or another of the priests’, will fetch you in the morning.” Takahiro explained as my eyes roved around the room. “Ah, the chamber pot is on the other side of the chest. We have a toilet, but that is located in the bathing area on the other side of the temple. It is easier to simply use that if you find you have to go in the middle of the night.” 

I would be going to the bathroom…in a pot. I blinked several times, dumbfounded by the information he’d given me. Had I somehow been transported to the 1600’s? They only had _one_ toilet? They were minimalists for sure. Luckily, I knew how to hold my bladder when the mood struck me. Another skill taught to an aspiring shinobi.

“Have a good night Chise.” Takahiro gave a small bow of his head. 

“You too…” He left, closing the door behind him. I stepped towards the bed, gently laying a hand on its surface. The frame squealed in protest. That would take some getting used to. I shuffled my way to the chest, noting there wasn’t a lock on it. 

I half expected to see dust bunnies come flying at me when I opened it, but I was only hit with the slight scent of damp clothing. God, I hope they weren’t moldy. The first item in the trunk was a thick fleece blanket which I promptly tossed onto the bed. I flinched at the loud shriek the metal gave. Next were a dozen or so pairs of pants, which I was surprised to find were my size or just a tad bit bigger. There was nothing else. Only the blanket and pants. 

I needed a shirt. I may have the body of an eight-year-old, but it was the principle of the matter. I was a girl, and I would not go parading around shirtless. It was indecent and completely unladylike. My mother would be fuming if she knew- my heart thumped painfully at the thought of my mother. 

I sighed heavily, pulling out one of the pants and setting it beside the blanket. I shut the trunk before slipping out of the ruined white kimono. I’d be glad if I never had to look at that thing again. The fabric of the pants was coarse and scratched at the skin on my legs. I unfolded the blanket, laying it carefully on the futon. 

I glanced around at the candles, and decided I’d rather keep them on then blow them out. I cringed as I climbed onto the futon, wondering if there was some way I could get it to not make that horrible screeching noise. The fleece smelled like mothballs and old water, but it was warm and soft. If I tried really hard, I could almost pretend it was my comforter from home. I refused to acknowledge the tears that escaped my eyes.


	8. New Set of Rules

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the eighth chapter! Thank you for all the love and support!

_Temple of Jashin – Day 1_

“Chise, it’s time to wake up.” My shoulder was shaken gently. I flinched away from the touch, my eyes opening to see Takahiro leaning over me. “Ah, excuse me I didn’t mean to startle you.” I blinked multiple times before responding. 

“It’s okay…” I rubbed my eyes, sitting up and wincing as the bed squealed in response. Takahiro straightened up as I did so. “What time is it?” I asked fighting against a yawn. My eyes searched for any indication for the time, but all I noticed was that the candles had somehow been replaced. I must have been really tired not to hear anyone come into the room. 

“Around five. The morning prayers are about to begin and Elder Priest Gurou asked me to wake you.” He gave me a smile.

“Oh.” I shifted my legs off the futon, ignoring the screech of the metal as best as I could as I stood up. 

“How do your clothes fit Chise?” I glanced at him before looking down at myself. It was then that I remembered I had no shirt on. My arms instantly curled around my exposed undeveloped chest, and my back hunched. To my surprise Takahiro chuckled at my bashfulness. “There is nothing to be embarrassed about. Jashin-sama prefers his followers to expose their flesh. The more exposed the skin is the more an acolyte can dedicate themselves to Jashin-sama.” He quipped that same warm smile on his face. 

“I am not an acolyte of Jashin-sama.” I mumbled still shielding my bare chest from the man. His brow furrowed slightly. 

“I see, well you can speak to Elder Gurou after the morning prayers, how does that sound?” I pursed my lips, debating whether or not to demand to stay in my room. “Come Chise, Elder Gurou will speak with you.” 

“Ok…” I stood up, still covering my chest self-consciously. I really hoped that Elder Gurou would take in account my gender and let me wear a shirt. I wasn’t even a follower of Jashin…not officially by any means. 

I followed Takahiro out of the room I was given. The candles along the temple’s walls had all been replaced and freshly lit. I wonder who had the job of replacing all the candles. They must have gone through a lot of them. 

The temple was just as confusing to traverse this time around as it was last night. I’d have to start remembering how to get around this place if Hidan and I were to stay here. Would Hidan be there for morning prayers? As much as I didn’t like that man, he was only one I knew from my village. 

My chest gave a painful squeeze at the reminder of my village. I wonder how they were fairing now that the entire council had been decimated. There were others, like old man Renji and the tailor that had made the kimono my mother had gave me for my eighth birthday. I’m not entirely sure who else Hidan killed, but I’m sure that they’d live on. We may have been moving away from being a hidden village, but the residents were still ninja…and ninja endured. 

I was jolted out of my thoughts when the rhythmic chanting reached my ears. We were in the main chamber again, and Takahiro left me to join his fellow priests in front of Jashin’s statue. My eyes roved the collected body of people, instantly noting that Hidan was not among them. I subtly glanced around the room, but besides the praying priests, I was the only one in the large room. Was he allowed to skip morning prayers? That had to be it, the ass was probably too lazy to get out of bed. 

I waited patiently, arms crossed uncomfortably across my exposed chest for the priests to finish their praying. I felt absolutely naked without a shirt on. I should have insisted on staying in my room. Takahiro didn’t look like a man who’d fight me on the matter if I kicked up a fuss. Hindsight was everything though, and I most definitely couldn’t go back to my room by myself. 

An hour later and I found myself sitting cross legged on the ground staring in awe at the priests. They were all kneeling in the crushed glass with their heads bowed, hands fisted around their rosaries, and practiced words flowing easily from their lips. With the way the room echoed and the almost pulsating rhythm their speaking took on I couldn’t understand a word they were saying, but it was mesmerizing none the less. This was only Morning Prayer, I couldn’t even imagine what the rest of the rituals were like. Suddenly my fasting seemed trivial in comparison to their dedication. My gut twisted uncomfortably at the thought. 

It was another half hour before they rose as a unit, their words slowly dying off. All bowed towards Jashin before dispersing. I stood as well, a little more than excited to see that they were finally finished. If all of their rituals were this lengthy it was no wonder Kakuzu always complained that Hidan was so damn slow. Jun and Kenta made their way towards me. 

“Good mornin’ Lil one.” Kenta smiled widely in greeting. I had a feeling I’d be ‘lil one’ to him for the duration of my stay here. 

“Good morning Chise.” Jun bowed his head in my direction. 

“Be sure t’hurry for the dinin’ hall.” Kenta advised. 

“Already trying to poison the girl this early in the morning?” Jun jabbed teasingly, earning a glare from his partner.

“Good morning. I’ll make sure to hurry.” They nodded before walking into the tunnel behind me, most likely heading to the kitchen. 

“Chise,” Gurou’s gruff voice was commanding. He didn’t need to finish his sentence for me to hurry my way towards him and Takahiro. “Takahiro has brought it to my attention that you are uncomfortable with the attire you were provided.” I wondered briefly if I was supposed to answer that like it was a question. It sure didn’t sound like a question to me. 

“Uh..yes…you see I’m a girl and I think it’s-” I managed to stammer out before he cut me off. 

“It is Jashin-sama’s will that all who reside in his sacred temple are to bare their flesh.” His black eyes pinned me with a stern look. “You are a child, and there is nothing inappropriate about your bare chest. When your body begins to develop you will be allowed to wear traditional chest wrapping if you so choose.” His voice held no room for argument, leaving me to nod dumbly at his words. I was beginning to see that he was not a man to be trifled with. “High Priest Hidan has left you in my care. Starting today you will begin performing chores around the temple until it is time for you to dedicate yourself…” 

“You mean Hidan left?” I was fixated on the beginning of his speech. With a deep frown Gurou nodded. Hidan left me here. Anger bubbled fiercely in my stomach. The son of a bitch kills my parents, kidnaps me, and then leaves me in a temple with a bunch of strange men! I’m going to kill him. Again. “That fucking bastard when I get my hands on him I’ll-” My teeth clacked painfully against one another as my head snapped to the side. My hands instantly flew up to my burning cheek. With stinging eyes, I looked up in astonishment at the elder man in front of me. I tasted the metallic tang of blood. His hand was still raised, eyes hard with an ire I’d only seen once in my life. 

“You will _never_ address High Priest Hidan in such a disrespectful manner again, or you will suffer from far more than a slap. Am I clear?” Elder Gurou was not a man to trifle with at all. I nodded silently, not trusting my voice to do the job. “Now, as I was saying. You will begin performing chores, when you feel it is right you will dedicate yourself to our Lord.” He turned his attention to Takahiro. “Until she does so, you are to accompany her to ensure she is performing her chores correctly.” 

“Yes Elder.” Takahiro bowed respectfully. 

“You both are dismissed.” I gladly followed Takahiro out of the main chamber and away from the short tempered old man. 

It wasn’t until we were deep in the tunnels, heading towards the dining hall I hoped that Takahiro spoke. “I’ve never heard anyone refer to High Priest Hidan in such a manner.” There was a curious note in his voice instead of a stern admonishing one. 

“He murdered my parents.” I explained, experimentally prodding my cheek, wincing as it throbbed in response. He had really hit me. It was the first time I’d been hit in the face, the practice matches Miss. Kagame made us go through had given me my fair share of bumps and bruises, but it was the first time I’d been hit outside of a fight. The first time an adult had struck me. 

“I’m sure it was in the name of-” 

“No, he grew angry so he slaughtered them all. It wasn’t in the name of Jashin-sama.” I bit out, done with discussing the subject. Luckily Takahiro wasn’t a dense man and dropped the subject. 

The din of the dining hall soon filled my ears as we entered the room. I almost felt the urge to hide behind Takahiro’s legs when all the noise suddenly stopped as the priests of the temple turned their attention towards us. I did hunch into myself, uncomfortably aware of my naked torso. 

“This is Chise,” Takahiro announced before ushering me towards an open spot on the long table. Luckily it was directly across from Jun, who looked slightly sympathetic to my plight. There were seven large bowls set out on the table, with each person having two smaller bowls, one had rice while the other was empty, presumably to fill up with the food in the large bowls. 

“I am Dai,” The man sitting on Jun’s right spoke up. I nearly had a heart attack when I realized who he was, or rather what clan he was from. The robust build, auburn colored unruly hair, and identical swirl marks on each of his cheeks marked him as an Akimichi. What was an Akimichi doing here? I didn’t have time to dwell though, because all the other priests began to introduce themselves. 

It was all a bit overwhelming, and I’m sure I’d have to ask their names again when the time arose, but I did manage to get a bowl of food in before Takahiro whisked me away to explain my chores. 

The chores reminded me heavily of genin missions. They were odd jobs that others didn’t wish to perform, so they passed it on to the younger ones. Since I wasn’t a practitioner of Jashinism I would actually start while they were doing the Morning Prayer. It began with gathering the laundry from all the rooms before dropping them off in the laundry room. 

The laundry room was actually a small alcove off of the bathing area where a fresh water underground spring flowed. They used soap and an old-fashioned washboard to wash said laundry. Luckily my laundry duties ended with simply gathering it up and dropping it off. 

Next came taking care of the livestock. They had sheep, which I learned they sold the wool in the closest village for money to buy supplies, and a few milk cows. I only had to make sure they had water and food. The priest in charge of the sheep was a petit man named Kiyoshi. This was the only portion of the temple that had an open-air ceiling. 

After that I was to help Jun with the candle making process. Okay, actually I was simply to fetch supplies that the blonde priest needed until he was satisfied with my work. Or something like that, my attention had wandered slightly as I ogled the rather large set up they had for making the candles. It made sense, seeing as the entire temple ran on candle light. 

My last job gave me another insight into the lives of the priests. I was to thoroughly clean and disinfect the…tools that were used by the priests throughout the day. I had thought that the weapon supply closet in Yugakure was impressive, but it paled in comparison to the tools and devices I saw within those rooms. There were at least eight rooms filled with an assortment of torture devices and any weapon known to mankind.

“Tonight, you can help Dai and Kenta in the kitchen for dinner. I need to perform my daily worship.” Takahiro dropped me off in front of the dining hall. I had a much better map of the place in my head now that I had thoroughly shown where to go. “I’ll wake you up tomorrow morning.” 

“Okay.” I hesitantly walked into the dining hall. Kenta and Dai were in the kitchen area of the large room. With a deep breath I strode towards the scarred men. “Can I help with anything?” I asked gaining their attention. 

“Ahh, Lil one good evenin’.” Kenta smiled warmly. 

“Can you peel and cut potatoes?” Dai was all business. Then again Akimichi did take their food seriously. 

“Yes sir. Should they be diced or sliced in strips?” His lips twitched in an approving smile, a chuckle escaping in the process. It made the scarred skin of his chest and stomach pull and contract. Those were burn scars. 

“Diced. Get to work.” He motioned towards the pile of potatoes and peeler. I did as I was told without another word. I had been about to graduate as a kunoichi after all. 

“I herd Elder Gurou smack’d ya good th’s mornin’.” Kenta broke the silence after a few minutes. I didn’t even pause in my peeling. 

“I insulted Hidan.” Dai whistled at my words. 

“You have guts kid.” He commented. “No one speaks against High Priest Hidan.” I pursed my lips, I really didn’t want to go down that conversational road with them. When I didn’t reply, they must have gotten the picture that I didn’t want to talk about it. 

With the scant few directions from either Kenta or Dai, preparing dinner was a fairly silent ordeal. The men all talked while they ate, Elder Gurou was absent for this meal as well. It was nice…to listen to such a free-flowing conversation. Whenever my parents spoke to one another the words were always clipped and strained. 

It was also easy to get used to not wearing a shirt with everyone else being shirtless as well. It helped that none of them even looked at me beyond making eye contact when they were speaking to me. At least I knew that none of them were perverts. 

I would say I was surprised that Hidan up and left me here, but after the initial shock wore off, I really wasn’t. He was an asshole, through and through. The only person who could attest otherwise, he’d killed, so as far as I was concerned Hidan didn’t have pleasant bone in his body. Even if he did, he’d already broken it anyhow. 

If today was any indication on how life would be like in the temple for me, I wouldn’t mind staying for a little while. The bed frame squealing was a bit of a problem, but I’m sure I’d think of something to do about it.


	9. Overlapping Pasts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is the Ninth chapter. I hope you guys like it!

_Temple of Jashin – Day 7_

I was starting to get used to the soft knock on my door that signaled the beginning of my day. I yawned heavily, stretching as I sat up in bed. The screeching of the metal barely even fazing me. “Thanks Takahiro, see you after Morning Prayer.” I called to him through the door. He didn’t respond, but since his footsteps moved away from the doorway I knew he heard me. 

I lazily scratched my head as I stood up to move to the trunk. I needed to add my dirty clothing to the pile today. I swapped out my sleep pants for a clean pair before slipping on a pair of sandals. Earlier in the week Jun managed to get me a hairbrush. After I was done with that I shoved my dirty pants into large bag before heading out. 

I had my rounds to cover before dropping the load off. Luckily all the priests lived in the same area of the elaborate cave system that made up the temple, so gathering the clothing never took very long. What was really the work out was getting the oversized, and albeit full bag, to the laundry room. At least I knew my hard work in physical education class wasn’t being wasted away. 

There was a pattern with how many dirty clothes the priests had. All of their dirty clothing was caked with dried blood. That was the norm, but how much blood usually rotated by day. They all did their daily worship, but sometimes just a little extra was needed. After about the third day I realized that it was them moving forward in their subjugation of pain.

I can’t believe I’ve been here for an entire week already. The temple was nothing like the outside world. They were entirely isolated. They operated as a whole different world in the temple. The hierarchy within the temple went by years of service as a priest. There was Elder Gurou, Dai (who was well on his way to becoming an elder if those fresh burns on his body were anything to go by), and Tadashi (a condescending shithead) that rounded up the top three in the temple. Of course, Hidan preceded them all, that was a given. Takahiro, Jun, and I rounded out the bottom three. 

It was no wonder Jun was so nice to me. I’d officially taken his place as chore doer in the temple. I didn’t mind doing the chores. It was rather relaxing being a part of a routine again. It reminded me of school. By the time I got all the laundry into the room, the Morning Prayer was over and I was due to meet up with Takahiro and Kiyoshi to take care of the sheep and cows. 

“Good morning.” I greeted them both when I walked out into the field. Kiyoshi had yet to let them out of the enclosure so they could graze. It no longer weirded me out to see the blood stains on the knees of their pants. 

“Good Morning to you Chise. How was your sleep?” Kiyoshi asked, leaning against the wooden fence that held the livestock. He was a small man, with even smaller eyes and a pinched mouth. He actually reminded me a rat or mouse. 

“Pretty good, the bed frame didn’t wake me up at least.” I chuckled lightly, moving to start with my job. 

“Ah, that’s good to hear.” He laughed with me, having been the man to receive the brunt of my frustration my first couple of nights here. Takahiro never really joined in the conversations I had with the other priests, opting to watch me go about my business. That’s not to say he didn’t talk to me while we were walking through the tunnels towards my next job. 

“How’s Big B doing?” Big B was one of the milk cows. She was just about ready to give birth to the little bugger inside of her. 

“Very well. Any day now and we’ll have ourselves a calf.” I nodded, happy to hear it. “I’m just hoping Dai doesn’t convince Elder Gurou to make veal out of it.” He muttered, more to himself than me. I snorted none the less. Kiyoshi was rather attached to all the animals. 

“I’m sure Elder Gurou won’t let that happen.” I assured him as I filled the water buckets. 

“You’re right Chise. Elder Gurou doesn’t even like beef!” He grinned, satisfied with that conclusion. Our conversation tapered off as I continued to work. In no time at all it was my time to head off towards the Jun’s Candle Shop, as he called it. “See you tomorrow Chise!” 

“Bye!” I waved as Takahiro and I made our way back into the tunnels. At least I got to see the open sky and sun every day. 

“I see you’re settling in well.” Takahiro commented as we walked. 

“Well when you’re forced to see the same faces day in and day out, you tend to assimilate quite quickly.” I had been sticking to my promise to act my true age, and it showed in how the priests treated me. Kenta and Dai were the only ones to refer to me as ‘Lil one’ and ‘Kid’. “Speaking of which, why don’t you join in the conversation more?” I glanced up at my taller companion. 

“I feel it would be detrimental to you getting to know the other priests.” He shrugged nonchalantly. 

“Ah.” We came up to Jun’s Candle Shop. 

“Why hello there Chise, Takahiro.” He smiled from where he was at, melting another pot of wax. “You came at just the right moment. Get me six molds, would you?” I nodded, instantly settling back into work mode. 

Jun was an easy-going guy. In fact, almost all of the priests with the exception of Elder Gurou and Tadashi were extremely easy to get along with. They were completely different than I had expected of Priests of Jashin. Besides the blood and gore parts of the religion they were nothing like Hellraiser. It was a relief, to say the least. Jun usually kept me the longest, teaching me all the way of making candles. It was interesting enough.

“Make sure the wick is directly in the middle.” Jun prompted, I fixed my mistake immediately. “Very Good. Now, come on, help me take out the ones from last night.” 

“Yes sir.” I followed closely behind him. It was Jun’s duty to replace all the candles before everyone woke up. When he wasn’t praying or worshiping Jashin, he was making candles. It was all very normal, and it kept me from dwelling too much on my parents. 

“This is so much easier with a helper.” He commented as we worked. 

“Glad I can be of assistance.” Jun hummed his response. 

We lapsed into a comfortable silence until it was time for me to head off towards the private worshiping rooms. Each night I used about five large buckets of bleach and went through at least three brushes disinfecting all the used equipment. Even in my short time here, I had begun to get used to the sight of blood splattered rooms. It was someone else’s job to clean the room itself, I was only to clean the weapons. 

The Priests were nice about it though, always leaving the used weapons on the lone table in the room instead of hanging it back up with its clean companions. The work made my shoulders ache, and the bleach caused my fingers to burn slightly. This was my least favorite part of the day. Takahiro was no help, always standing off to the side while I slaved away cleaning the ‘worshiping’ tools. 

“Takahiro, why did you become an acolyte of Jashin-sama?” I asked as I was cleaning the tools in the fourth room. This was a particularly nasty leather whip that had metal hooks tied to the ends. I could see chunks of flesh caught on some of them. It made me slightly nauseous to think about it. 

“I wanted to understand why people suffered in their lives.” His voice rang with sincerity. “I lost someone very dear to me many years ago, and I refused to believe that good people suffer just because. Jashin-sama…” He trailed off momentarily. “He gives reason behind the pain. Pain is not something to fear or avoid, but to embrace full heartedly for it is a learning experience.” His tone was filled with awe. “If you can control pain, then you have the most powerful tool within your grasp.” His words left me speechless. They reminded me of my own words about moving passed the trauma of the massacre. 

I worked in silence until I went to bed that night. I had no idea what to say to the man. I never thought someone else would voice their thoughts in the exact manner I had. It sounded narcissistic, but it was true. The chords within me he managed to strike with his words were disturbing to say the least. 

_Jashin Temple – Day 16_

“I was sixteen when I came to the temple.” Dai answered my question, meticulously kneading the dough in front of him. I was working beside him, struggling with my own blob of floured uncooked bread. 

If I finished my work early enough I could help Dai with dinner preparations before Evening Prayer. I liked working beside the Akimichi, there was a stillness about the man that never failed to calm my nerves. 

“My clan, Akimichi, we love food.” There was a slight fondness in his tone that made me smile. “My sister and I were travelling to a small village in the Land of Earth when we were ambushed. I had never desired to be a ninja, so we were easily overtaken.” My shoulders slumped, he had experienced the pain of loss as well. “The four rogue shinobi raped and tortured my sister before beating me within an inch of my life. They never even took the money out of my pockets.” My heart clenched painfully at his words. Gratuitous violence or ultra violence as Anthony Burgess would say. “A few of the late Elder’s found me and brought me into the temple.” 

“Why didn’t you go back to your clan?” I asked hesitantly. I didn’t want to over step my boundaries. I was beginning to see that all of the priests had terrible and often times violent pasts. He paused in his kneading, staring intently at the dough in front of him. 

“I couldn’t face the shame.” Dai turned to look at me, deep eyes awash with emotion. “Jashin-sama gave me the strength to push passed my despair.” 

“Lil’ one it is always a pleasure t’see ya.” Kenta greeted as he walked towards Dai and I. His chest was still oozing blood from the crisscrossed cuts on his skin. The blood would soon coagulate and start to scab. Wounds of this nature were no longer shocking to me. Dai went back to the dough. 

“Good evening Kenta.” I smiled pleasantly at the man. 

“Go start on the carrots Chise, Kenta will take over the dough.” Dai instructed as said man washed his hands. 

“Are ya whippin’ up your spiced bread?” Kenta asked switching places with me. I never understood how we had plumbing in the kitchen, but I wouldn’t question it. 

“Yes, I believe it’s about time we treat ourselves to it once again.” Kenta chuckled happily. 

“Is it really good?” I asked wiping my hands on a towel before moving towards the carrots. 

“’Bout the best damn thing t’come outta this kitchen.” I knew immediately that both would stop what they were doing to murmur a small prayer of forgiveness to Jashin-sama for swearing. 

“That sounds very tasty.” Most of the food was plain, the priests were minimalists at best. 

“Doesn’t your fastin’ end tomorrow?” Kenta’s question made a blush rise to my cheeks. My fasting in the name of Jashin was legitimately nothing compared to what they did for the God. 

“Mmhm.” I mumbled hastening my chopping of the orange vegetable. 

“It is a good start for an undedicated soul.” Dai commented, only worsening my blush. I didn’t see my fasting as anything special. It was simply something I promised Jashin I would do. 

“Kiyoshi once went a month eatin’ not’in but a piece a bread a day.” Going a week without regular meals sometimes felt like an impossible feat, I couldn’t even imagine what a month of that would be like. 

“I am curious to see what kind of practitioner you become.” 

“I never said I would become a Jashinist.” I told the men gathered, knowing that Takahiro was listening in as well. 

“When you’re finished with those carrots, be sure to put them in the broth.” They never commented when I said such things, simply went straight back to their work. It was beginning to frustrate me. 

_Jashin Temple- Day 30_

"Hey Jun?" I asked the blond priest as i carefully dipped the candle into the hot wax. He looked up from where he was carving a candle. It was something he did when he was waiting for the candles to cool. He had many little wax figurine candles varying from animals to houses. 

"Yes little Chise?" 

"Why did you become a Jashinist?" He pursed his lips and set down the candle and carving knife. Jun was the newest priest in the temple. 

"I was a merchant from Sunagakure. I was travelling in the Land of Frost when the ninja I had hired as body guards were attacked." He snorted with a shake of his head, "A waste of money they were in the end."   
I saw a shudder pass through Jun's body as he recalled the memory. I opened my mouth to tell him he didn't have to tell me if it was too painful, but he started speaking again. "They were killed, I was beaten, and my merchandise was stolen. I was left to wander the forest in the middle of winter before Kenta found me delirious and half dead." Here was another violent past. "I dedicated myself to Jashin-sama because he showed me that pain could have meaning." It was more or less the same reason for the other priests I had asked the question. Jashin gave them purpose in their life when the world had taken it away from them. Their suffering wasn't meaningless here. 

_Jashin Temple- Day 58_

“Where do you come from originally Kiyoshi?” I asked the mouse-like man as we watched the sheep graze. I had finished with the laundry early, so I had a bit of time to kill before Jun was expecting me. 

“Takigakure.” He answered promptly. “My family was a shinobi clan by the name of Ratto. We bred, raised, and contracted rats as our summons.” He smiled fondly as one of the younger sheep tried to coax it’s elder into playing. 

“You were a shinobi?” I knew not to judge people by their appearance, but Kiyoshi didn’t strike me as the shinobi type. 

“In my younger years.” He chuckled at that, Kiyoshi couldn’t be more than forty years old. 

“How did you come here then?” I was insatiably curious about the priests’ backgrounds. Why had they chosen Jashinism as their religion? It was a question I intended to have answered.

“My family had been wiped out by a disgruntled uncle. I came here by chance…my rats liked it here so I stayed.” He shrugged, like he hadn’t just stated that his family had been massacred by a family member. I blinked, befuddled by the man in front of me. His gaze shifted towards me before a wide grin spread on his face. “I killed him to avenge my clan, so everything is okay. You don’t have to look so out of place.” 

Kiyoshi was an oddball amongst the priests. He was always smiling and happy, unless the livestock were being threatened by Dai’s hungry eye. I guess I shouldn’t have been as surprised by his admission as I was. I had once seen him giggle hysterically at the fact that one of his deeper cuts on his arm had been ripped open after I had grabbed it when I slipped in the mud. 

I saw what Hidan became like when pain was involved in the anime. I could only guess that it was the same for all the priests. Their physical pain made them immeasurably content and happy. I understood the theory behind it all, I really did, but I couldn’t see how it could possibly be put into practice. 

“You should get going Chise.” Takahiro advised, stepping forward. 

“See you tomorrow Kiyoshi.” I smiled at the other man and left. 

“Has your curiosity been abated yet?” The brown-haired man asked as we traversed through the tunnels. I chewed on my lip, contemplating his question. Was I satisfied with what I knew about the priests? I hadn’t asked all of them how they came to Jashinism, but the answers were more or less the same so far. Would the trend last with the rest of the priests? 

I knew that Nori, a leathery skinned man with a scratchy voice, had been ostracized in his village. He had been born with a body deformation, his limbs were disproportioned for his size. He saw Jashin-sama as a saving grace who allowed him to rise above the cruel world he had been born into. 

There was also Shou, who was the one to wash the laundry that I collected. He had been separated from his family during a war and been held captive in a prison camp for years before the camp had been taken down. He had been learning how to change pain into a tool to suit his purpose by himself, Jashin-sama simply let him do so without guilt.

I was curious about Gurou and Tadashi, but they intimidated me far too much for me to gather the courage to ask them. We were nearing the Candle Shop, the temple seemed so much smaller now that I have been here for a while. I glanced up at Takahiro, his gaze focused ahead of us. 

“Y’know…I think it is…” If I hadn’t been looking at him, I would have missed the smile that had curved on his lips.


	10. The Devout Path

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here is my tenth chapter for Learning Curve! Thank you guys so much for the kudos! I really do appreciate them! I hope you guys enjoy and let me know how I'm doing.

_Jashin Temple – Day 75: A Decision_

“I want to dedicate myself to Jashin.” It had been almost four months now that I’ve been at the temple. Four months of listening to the priests tell their tale and love for their god. Four months of hearing nothing but small teachings of Jashin-sama. I was weary of being the outsider in the group. 

Their words had always made sense to me. I, myself, had gone through unimaginable pain that twisted my view of the world. I had died and was reborn, only to watch my new family be cut down in a fit of rage. I had been twisting and manipulating my pain into numbness for four months, and years before that as well. 

I’ve known about Jashin-sama being a real god. I knew he had power in this world. I knew that the best course of action for me would be to follow him. I’ve seen his influence, seen his power. That was more than the God of my old life could ever attest to. 

I wasn’t religious in my old life. My parents had been pretty gung-ho about it when I was a child, but I rebelled early on about it all. I saw God as a creation of humanity’s imagination so they could soothe themselves in thinking we weren’t alone in the universe. That was God to me then…but here the rules were different. 

My fasting was shit, and I knew that I needed to move on from that. That was temporary band aid to the real problem at hand. A god would punish one who knew he was real and did not worship. Especially a god like Jashin-sama. 

I stood before Elder Gurou, my gaze meeting his head on. His lips were pulled in a deep frown, eyes narrowing as he analyzed me. I wouldn’t let him intimidate me, not on this matter. He may be older and wiser than me, but he was in no way better than I. I could be strong, I could hold my ground in front of him. 

“Good. I will begin the preparations.” He nodded curtly before twisting on his heel and leaving the chamber. My shoulders slumped in relief. 

I was making the right choice…I had to be. 

_Jashin Temple – Day 182: Dedication Ceremony_

I was shivering in an equal mixture of nerves and excitement. My hair was curled into a neat bun at the nape of my neck. My bare torso no longer bothered me as I walked through the tunnel towards the Sanctuary. I was squeaky clean, fresh out of the bath. My pants were new, a present from Kenta. They still scratched my legs. My footsteps were sure as I entered the Sanctuary. 

All the priests were gathered in a circle near the large statue of Jashin-sama. They were not yet kneeling, but their bare feet stood easily on the crushed glass. I slipped off my sandals when I neared them, the circle opening up enough for me to walk into it. 

The glass dug and cut into the soles of my feet as I walked towards Elder Gurou. He was facing me, the ceremonial bowl carved from obsidian resting in his palms. Beside him was Dai, in his hands was an ornately carved dagger, the design on the hilt almost Celtic in nature. I did not wince as pain lanced through my legs when I kneeled before them.

There were no words spoken as Gurou bent, placing the bowl in front of me. Dai followed suit, bending down to place the dagger directly in my palm. That was as far as they could help me in the ceremony. Unlike other religions, the head priest was not the one to move the ceremony along, only the one dedicating themselves could do so. 

I stared at the gleaming blade feeling the weight of those who had held it before me. My skin tingled where it touched the metal handle. There was real power in this dagger. I took a deep breath looking up to stare at the Statue of Jashin-sama before starting. 

“Jashin-sama, I hereby devote my mind, body, and soul to you.” I held my other arm, palm up, above the bowl in front of me. I pressed the blade against my wrist. “I spill my blood in your honor, Lord, as this is the holiest testament my heathen soul can offer.” I dug the blade into my flesh, barely holding back the hiss of pain as I slid the dagger across my wrist. Dark blood poured from the wound, dripping down into the bowl. “I vow to always follow your teachings.” I repeated the action, my stomach coiling as the pain was renewed. “Cleanse me of the filth and corruption of this world. Gift me with pain so that I may have the power to carry out your will.” My hand was quaking as I went to make the final cut. The burning stinging pain was nearly overwhelming. The blade was coated in salt water before hand, to enhance the pain. If I couldn’t go through with this then I didn’t deserve to be a follower of Jashin. I took in a deep breath, willing my consciousness to push against it, to push through it. “From this day on I will forever be bound to you.” I made the cut and burst through the barrier that kept my body from experiencing Jashin’s influence. Relief flooded my entire system as the aching in my arm transformed into something else, something nice… “My Lord, My Savior. Jashin.” I finished the dedication prayer by lifting the bowl to my lips and taking a long drink from it. The taste of my blood should have made me nauseous, but all I felt was a deep sense of satisfaction.

Dai took the dagger from my hand. Gurou took the bowl from me. He promptly turned towards the statue, “The blood offering of Chise Tokuda.” His voice echoed in the silent chamber as he placed the bowl on the upturned hand of Jashin-sama. 

My eyes were drawn to the ruby eyes of the statue. I knew he was watching from the heavy presence that had settled into the room. I hope you’re pleased Jashin-sama…I stopped resisting your influence. I finally did what I said I would all those years ago. 

I stood up. This was the last part of the ceremony. I turned around to walk off the glass. When I stepped back onto the stone I would officially be a Priestess of Jashin. My gaze lifted, and there stood Hidan, eyes as red as the statue’s behind me. The moment our eyes met, I understood why the others treated him in the manner they did. The amount of power the man exuded seemed to roll off him in thick heavy waves. As I continued forward, it felt as if I was walking through malicious molasses. I’d never felt such severe abysmal power coming from a man. This must have been the off thing about Hidan that had always freaked me out. 

By God…that was Jashin’s blessing. 

“Knew you had it in ya, brat.” Hidan spat with a vicious grin. 

“Did you come just to see me?” I asked uneasily. I was entirely overwhelmed. He rolled his eyes dramatically. 

“You ain’t that important.” I could clearly see the approval in his eyes. “Now get going. I have more important business to attend to.” It was tradition for a newly inducted acolyte to sleep after the ceremony. 

“Will you be here when I wake up?” I hoped he said no. I was having a hard-enough time speaking to him right now, and I was still feeling the after effects of the dedication ceremony. 

“No brat.” I nodded and move passed Jashin-sama’s chosen. “Gurou, I’m not going to be able to make it to the temple for a while…” Hidan’s voice faded away as I made my way to my room. I guess I wouldn’t be seeing him for a while then. I didn’t mind…maybe I’d be able to get used to the power he held if I didn’t see him. I smiled at the thought of Jashin-sama’s power…I made the right choice. 

_Jashin Temple – 9th Birthday_

I turned nine today. I kept track of the months based on the rituals we performed and the weather outside. We had just finished the Autumn Rituals a few weeks prior. It was nearly three hours long of group self-sacrifice and chanting for a prosperous year to Jashin-sama. I still had a crick in my neck from it. 

A half smile curled onto my lips at the thought. That was nothing compared to the ache radiating from my back. Elder Gurou had suggested I take my veneration one step further. Now Takahiro helped me with my daily worship, seeing as I couldn’t whip myself properly. Of course, self-whipping had its perks, but I couldn’t experience true whipping from the limited mobility that came with it. 

I hauled the oversized laundry bag over my shoulder, teeth clenching as the rough material rubbed mercilessly on the raw skin of my back. I was working faster than I normally did. I wanted to get done with my chores quickly today. I had a book to read. 

Earlier this week Dai allowed me to accompany him into the small village near the temple. Jashin’s temple was located in the Land of Frost, right near the border of the Land of Hot Water. The land was aptly named, seeing as during the winter just about everything froze over. 

Anyhow, I managed to talk the food loving man into buying me a book. It was a romance adventure, where the protagonist had to rescue his love from the enemy shinobi that stole her away. Tired and true as the plot was, I hadn’t read a good book in quite some time. My entire being had been focused on being the best priestess I could be. 

I also needed the laundry to be done early so I could have more time for Kiyoshi to train me. After the man had learned about my shinobi career being cut short, he’d taken it upon himself to become my sensei. Kiyoshi could be a bit strange, but he was a great teacher. I knew I wasn’t getting rusty, that’s for sure. 

I almost always did my Morning Prayer’s upon waking up. It wasn’t that I didn’t like praying with the others, I simply had a lot to do during the day. Elder Gurou used to make sure I was actually praying, but after a few months he had stopped checking up on me. 

I heaved a sigh when I dropped the bag next to the washboard. I stretched lazily, groaning as I felt my scabbed over wounds pull tight from the movement. I was skipping breakfast this morning. I still fasted, though now it was one week out of a month instead of every two months. Oddly enough, I’d grown used to depriving myself of sustenance. 

The scent of the animals preceded them as I exited the cave system. The sky was thick with dark gray clouds. The scent of rain lingered in the air. There was another storm coming. Kiyoshi and I would have to herd the animals into the covered stalls. 

Big B mooed at me as I passed her. Her calf, Little B, was well on the way to becoming a fine cow. Dai never did manage to convince Elder Gurou to allow him to butcher the Little B. Kiyoshi had been ecstatic when he heard the news. I snorted in amusement at the look on the man’s face when the matter had been put to rest. 

The air shifted. My eyes slid to my left, before I barely managed to dodge the three kunai flying at me. I landed in a crouch, scanning the surrounding area for my attacker, as I palmed my own shuriken. There weren’t many places for him to hide, but then again Kiyoshi excelled at masking himself in open areas. 

I took in a deep breath, widening out my senses. I barely heard the whisper of metal whistling through the air as five shuriken hurled towards me. I threw my shuriken, managing to deflect two of the ones coming at me. I didn’t have time to dodge. My hands quickly made a seal for the substitution jutsu. The shuriken dug deeply into the log that replaced me. I reappeared a few feet away, unscathed. I smiled, that was the first time I executed the jutsu without even getting a scratch on me. “Ack!” I yelped as a hand gripped my wrist, twisting it behind my back. The point of a kunai resting against the hollow of my throat. 

“You let your guard down Chise.” Kiyoshi chastised me before letting go. I turned around, absently rubbing my neck. He had a tiny little grin on his face. “You improved since last time, but you’re still too easily distracted.” 

“I know,” I smiled sheepishly. “I need to work on it.” 

For the next few hours Kiyoshi put me through a rigorous workout. Surprise attacks sprinkled in between my push-ups and concentration exercises. I enjoyed the work, loved the straining in my muscles, and the satisfaction when I did something right. 

Afterward I headed directly to baths to clean off before I went to the training rooms. That was the true purpose of the weapon rooms. They were there to train a follower’s body, mind, and soul in the ways of Jashin. One of his main rules was that one could not cause pain to another without first experiencing the pain themselves. If I couldn’t endure the pain than I had no right to inflict pain onto others. I suppose it was a different way to look at the old proverb ‘Do unto others as you would do unto yourself’. 

Takahiro was already waiting for me when I showed up. “You’re late.”

“Exercise went a bit overtime today. I’m sorry.” I told him as I walked into the room. 

“Mmm,” He hummed, following me in. “You’re front today Chise.” I nodded, grabbing the small dagger in the room and slitting my wrist. I let the blood drip onto the floor, carefully making the bloody symbol of our faith. To stand within Jashin’s emblem allowed us to draw from his power and more easily control our pain. I set the dagger down on the table, planting myself in the middle of the circumscribed triangle, gaze meeting Takahiro’s. 

The whip was a standard issue leather one. The handle was worn and darkened with age. I’d felt its searing touch for weeks now. I gave him the nod to go ahead. 

Being whipped was unlike anything I’d ever felt before. When it happens your skin instantly grows numb from the shock. That numbness is always followed by the slow growing itching burn, one that’s never fully relieved as Takahiro continuously deals out more blows. My mind grows clouded as I fight for oxygen. My body writhes, knees shaking, begging, to be allowed to buckle. 

I struggle through it all. Struggle to find that one point in which to break through. To push passed it all. The adrenaline only lasts so long. I’m faintly aware of my voice, involuntarily crying out with every touch of the whip against my skin. It feels wet and throbbing as the burn grows to a searing pain. My tears blind me. 

My world shrinks and falls away until I only feel the suffering. It’s suffocating. I could barely breath it was so dense. I struggled against it, not allowing the whispers urging me to give up, to let my consciousness float away so I no longer have to feel this torture. Jashin-sama accepted me as his worshipper and I would not disappoint him.

It burst through my chest, spreading down my limbs, all the pain and suffering morphing into sweet relief. I sucked in a desperate breath, feeling like I had broken through the surface of a deep lake. Takahiro knew the moment I had found that near divine alleviation, because his efforts doubled. Yet now, with each crack of the whip the easement only grew more and more prominent. 

They never told me how addicting the feeling could be. 

_Dinner_

“Well, don’t you look wonderful,” Dai commented as I hastily made my way into the kitchen. Just because I wasn’t eating today didn’t mean I wouldn’t help with cooking. I grinned up at him as I took up my usual spot near the potatoes and peel bucket. 

“Ya keep this up Lil’ one an’ you could be cons’crated.” Kenta stated, chopping the vegetables. My brow furrowed in confusion. 

“I thought I already was?” I mean, wasn’t that what the dedication ceremony was about? Dai and Kenta shared a look before chuckling. Dai, being the elder priest, took it upon himself to enlighten me, turning away from his preparations. 

“You dedicated yourself to Jashin-sama. That is very different than becoming consecrated in the name of Jashin-sama. The Consecration Ritual is where a follower completely gives himself over to Jashin.” To completely give oneself to Jashin, you had to die. Dai smiled, satisfied that I had figured out what he meant. “High Priest Hidan performed such a ritual.” 

“But Hidan is-” I cut myself out, eyes widening as realization dawned on me. “You mean to tell me that the Consecration Ritual is the one that allowed Hidan to become Jashin’s Chosen?” Dai nodded. 

“It is said that those who perform the Consecration Ritual meet our Lord. Jashin-sama favored High Priest Hidan and gave him his holiest of blessings.” Dai explained with a small smile. 

“Jashin-sama only blesses one though, right?” I could understand a disciple wanting to show complete devotion to Jashin by handing him their life, but wouldn’t their continued worship and sacrifice throughout their lifetime be far more valuable than that? 

“No, child. Whatever gave you that idea?” Dai was looking at me curiously. I blinked rapidly, realizing my mistake a second too late. They treated me like an adult, so it was easy to forget that I was still technically only nine to them. I couldn’t tell them I read about it on the internet. 

“I uhm…I assumed so because Hidan’s the only one you call High Priest.” I scratched my neck uncomfortably, hoping he’d buy the lie. 

“Ah,” Dai nodded in understanding, I mentally wiped my brow in relief. “It is true that High Priest Hidan is the only chosen right now, but that does not mean there will not be another. It is written that Jashin-sama will give his blessing to three of his disciples.” 

“Three…oh three for the points on the triangle?” I asked, intrigued by this new information. The internet had been wrong then. It wouldn’t be the first time. “How many have performed the Consecration Ritual and not been chosen?” It was a huge gamble. No wonder those that did the ritual had to be devout Jashinists. If they weren’t chosen, they had to be content with being with our God for the rest of eternity. 

“Yes, that’s very good Chise. Now finish those potatoes.” He commanded suddenly. I diligently went back to work. 

Jashinism became more intriguing with every passing day, especially since I became an acolyte of the God. I’d always suspected that there was more to it all than what the anime led on. There were so many rules and regulations that came with being a follower of Jashin-sama, it still made my head spin. 

Our goals were to continue to praise and sacrifice in the name of our Lord, and also to convert non-believers. If a non-believer did not convert we were permitted to use any means necessary to convince them to convert. Converts must dedicate themselves to Jashin-sama willingly. Only a High Priest was permitted to kill a non-believer if they did not choose to convert. 

Indulgence in worldly sins were strictly forbidden for it took away your focus on your commitment to Jashin-sama. Wrath was encouraged to use as fuel for our pursuits. Lust was only permitted if it was in direct accordance to showing your faith. If you did stray from Jashin-sama’s path you must make a sufficient sacrifice to atone for your sin. Hidan’s comment about killing the women he slept with made a lot more sense now.

After dinner preparation came Evening Prayer. Evening Prayers were about thanking Jashin-sama for allowing you to serve him another day, and hoping that he will allow you to wake in the morning so you can continue to serve him. Kneeling in the glass sufficed the allotted blood sacrifice he required of us to make such a request. The continuous chanting of those same words for two and a half hours cemented the prayer. Jashinists were very thorough in their devotion. 

I was not required to sit in the dining hall during dinner while I was fasting, but I did so anyway. I hadn’t had my piece of bread for the day, so I nibbled on that while the others ate. My chest was smarting something fierce, tonight was going to be another long one. 

“How many lashes did you take today Chise?” Jun asked, eyeing my wounded chest appraisingly. I glanced down at it, seeing the crisscrosed welts and some scabbing wounds from where the whip had broken skin. “Twenty-five, thirty?” 

“Twenty-five I’d say…” I shrugged, I hadn’t been counting at the time. 

“Forty-eight actually.” Takahiro spoke up, gaining the attention of the entire table. Kenta whistled impressed by the number. 

“How many lashes until she was able to control her pain?” Elder Gurou asked. I leaned over the table to see the old man sitting at the end of the long stone structure. He hardly ever ate dinner with the rest of us. 

“Twenty sir.” I looked back at Takahiro with wide eyes. It’d only taken me twenty lashes to feel that blissful relief from pain? He’d continued for twenty-eight more before stopping…no wonder my chest hurt so much.

Elder Gurou shared a look with Tadashi who sat across from him. Tadashi was the only one who treated me like a child, and it annoyed the crap out of me. I avoided him as much as I possibly could, which was surprisingly easy considering we all lived in the same temple. 

“Starting tomorrow I will be the one to continue your training. Takahiro shall take up any chores you are unable to perform.” Tadashi spoke concisely, pinning me with a commanding glare. I pursed my lips, slightly annoyed with the unspoken order. Nonetheless I agreed. 

My book that night after dinner didn’t appeal to me as much as it did this morning. Not with the knowledge of my priestess training with Tadashi tomorrow hovering in the forefront of my mind. I didn’t think the elder man liked me, he probably thought I was too young to understand the weight of what I was doing. If only he knew I was a lot older than my body let on. 

I barely ignored the excited curl of my stomach.


	11. With a Burning Brush

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the kudos! I appreciate every single one. Here's the eleventh chapter. Let me know how you guys like it.

_The Next Day_

Kiyoshi kept my ninja training to a minimum so I’d have energy to withstand whatever Tadashi had in store for me today. It was nerve wracking not knowing what I was going to go through. I knew that many followers died because they bit off more than they could chew with their training. Those were always the most disgraced. Being able to know your limits was an important tool as well. 

Tadashi was as sour faced as he normally was when I showed up at the training rooms. He didn’t even speak, simply walked into an unused room. I frowned but followed behind. It wouldn’t help me any if I managed to piss him off. 

“Lay on the table and shackle your ankles.” He ordered pointing towards the metal table set up in the middle of the room. The fire place in the room was ablaze. This was where priests burned themselves. I gulped, barely containing my shivering as I climbed up onto the table. I’ve had yet to burn myself. The thought of searing my own flesh did not appeal to me in the slightest. The metal of the shackles clinked together as I did them up, chilling my ankles almost instantly. 

“What…uh…what do you plan on doing?” I asked hesitantly. He had his back to me, facing the fire and messing with whatever he had in it. 

“Be quiet girl.” His tone was sharp and biting. He turned around, “Lay down, and tie this around your eyes.” I smartly shut my mouth tying the piece of cloth he threw at me around my eyes before laying back against the metal table. I heard his footsteps approach, the soft tapping of his shoes making my heart pound. I flinched when a hand gripped my wrist. “Hn, I can’t possibly understand why he likes you.” He muttered, roughly shackling my hand to the table. As he shackled the other wrist I wanted to ask him who he meant by ‘he’. 

I heard a strange shuffling sound before I felt something drape across my legs and tighten almost immediately. He was tying my legs down. The same sensation repeated over my still aching chest. I bit back a small whimper as the wounds were agitated by the restraint. 

“You will only be given warning for the first time. After that you’re on your own.” I had no idea what he was talking about, but I nodded anyways. His footsteps walked away, towards the fire I would guess. My heart pounded nervously in my chest. When they came towards me again I was acutely aware of the crackling of the wood as it burned in the room. “Prepare yourself.” 

I screamed as something scalding hot was set onto my stomach. My flesh sizzled upon contact, bubbling from the intense heat of the object. My entire body convulsed, desperate to move whatever was burning its way through my torso off. I’d been burned a few times in my life, but nothing compared to whatever this was. 

My voice rose in pitch as yet another searing object was placed on my stomach. He had to be dropping coals. Hot coals. I choked on my next scream as my muscles spasmed frantically. My tears blinded me and I thrashed uselessly against my restraints. I just wanted it all to stop. I cried out hoarsely when another coal was placed on my stomach. 

The stench of my burning flesh clogged my nostrils making me gag as bile rose in my throat. I could feel some kind of wetness on my stomach, was I bleeding or was that my flesh being melted away? I jerked violently at the question and another burning sensation started on my stomach. 

My agonized screams fell on deaf ears. My mind was beginning to haze over. The edges all fading out, the pain beginning to numb over. I welcomed the numbness, anything was better than feeling myself be cooked alive. I gasped pathetically for breath that wouldn’t come, praying for the darkness of unconsciousness. 

“ _Wrath is the perfect tool to control your pain. Remember that Chise._ ” Takahiro’s voice echoed in my mind, clearing some of the fog that had begun to take over. I gasped, struggling to find the strength to push through the pain. Anger…where would my anger come from? 

Another coal was set on my stomach and I grunted as the pain intensified. There was an ever so quiet snort of amusement. Tadashi was enjoying this. That sonovabitch liked torturing me. He knew I wouldn’t be able to handle this kind of training, and yet he continued to set coals on my flesh. He was trying to break me. My mind cleared completely as an icy rage surged through my body. 

All I had to do was push through the pain like I did when I was being whipped. I pushed incessantly against the pain pulsing through me. That fucker wasn’t going to win. I clung tightly to my fury, using it to spearhead my way out. The pain shattered, falling away from me immediately. I moaned as relief filled my veins. That searing pain in my stomach morphing into a pleasant tingling of my flesh, like when you got goose bumps. I turned my head towards where I could hear Tadashi moving. I bared my teeth at him before my entire world went black. 

_Later that night_

“Tadashi never holds back.” Jun’s voice echoed in my mind. 

“She’s justa young’on…” Kenta’s accented voice sounded mildly disturbed. 

I wasn’t disoriented like I had been before whenever I woke up from passing out. The throbbing radiating from my stomach kept anything from being repressed and pushed away. “We all know the price of following Jashin-sama.” Takahiro sounded uncharacteristically stern. “She survived, do not dishonor her sacrifice.” Wow, I never knew the man could sound even remotely scary. 

I struggled momentarily to open my eyes, thanking Jashin that when my traitorous lids finally did lift the light from the candles didn’t sting them. I was in my room. I’d memorized the shadows cast from the uneven ceiling a while ago. I twisted my head, wincing as pain lanced through my body. 

“Ah, you’re awake.” Jun was sitting by my feet. Kenta had taken residence in the old rickety chair, while Takahiro leaned against the stone wall. I blinked owlishly at them all before glancing down to look at myself. A bandage lay across my stomach, stark white against the abused flesh. 

“What’s the damage?” My voice croaked as I spoke, my throat burning from lack of saliva.

“Here,” A cup was shoved against my lips, Jun’s hand holding it. I hesitantly allowed the man to help me drink the water. They obviously didn’t want me moving around much. 

“The wounds must be covered to prevent any infection. I’ll help you change them when the time comes. You’ll live, that’s all that matters.” Takahiro spoke, arms folded across his chest. The glare in his eyes wasn’t directed at me, but a spot on the floor. “You’re excused from your duties for five days.” My eyes widened, I didn’t feel that bad. 

“That’s insane. I can go back to-” When I made even the slightest turn of my torso the same consuming burn burst forth making me cry out. 

“Chise you must stay still.” Jun and Kenta were instantly rearranging me so I was laid out like before. I nodded, panting heavily as I attempted to work through the pain. 

“I think it’s ‘bout time we let ‘er be.” Kenta spoke up, smiling ever so slightly down at me. A deep sadness reflected in his eyes. “See ya later Lil’ one.” 

“Get better, we have lots of work to do when you get back.” Jun affectionately ruffled my hair, yet his pale eyes never met mine. I’ve seen those looks before. They left, leaving only Takahiro and I in the room. 

“Takahiro…” I mumbled looking at the somber man as he shifted off the wall. “Help me make a circle ya?” He nodded silently, “Use my star…” he moved towards the private alter in my room. My rosary wasn’t around my neck. Takahiro returned to my line of sight, my star held in one of his hands. I had added Jashin’s symbol to the present my father had given me. My star was my ritual tool. 

He lifted his other hand, palm upwards. He must not want to cut me right now. With one clean motion, he sliced the flesh of his palm. I preferred my wrist to make the circle. It didn’t take long for him to make a circle, even though my legs would be hanging out of the entire thing, I’m sure Jashin-sama would appreciate the effort. 

“Thank you…” His only answer was a slight nod. I closed my eyes, readying myself for my Evening Prayer. I waited until he had left the room before starting. “Thank you Jashin-sama for allowing me to serve and carry out your will for another day.” The first line is always said out loud, but the rest of the prayer was said silently in the privacy of your own thoughts. 

Thank you for giving me the strength to live through what Tadashi did to me. I’m not entirely sure how extensive my wounds are but judging from how the others were acting it must have been pretty bad. I’m sure I have you to thank for that one as well. 

Heh, it’s almost funny Jashin-sama. I’m sure I’m on the verge of death, yet I feel no fear. Is it because I have already died? Or does it have to do with something else? I know that it is you who awaits me if I die tonight, could that be it? 

No, the thought of meeting you is frightening. In all actuality you scare the ever-living shit out of me. It isn’t the same fear as when I had first realized you were real, no it’s a different kind now. A respectful sort of fear that one has for wolves. They are beautiful majestic creatures, but you could feel the danger that they exuded. 

They don’t expect me to live through the night. I hope they’re wrong in their assumptions. I wanted to do so much more, explore this world for all that it is worth. I want to travel to Konoha and see the Hokage Monument with my own two eyes. I want to go to Kumo and sit on their tallest bluff to watch the clouds pass by me. I want Kiyoshi to teach me his family’s secret jutsu’s, want to meet his rat summons to see if we’re compatible. I want to try that whip with the hooks. A smile tugged on my lips. 

I probably sound rather whiny. I lived nine years in a world that shouldn’t exist. I did pretty well with all things considered. I wouldn’t be joining my Kaa-san and Tou-san, I’d go to you wouldn’t I? 

I’m going to miss never seeing Hidan again. “In your name, My Lord, I ingest this blood so that it may reach you.” I sucked my bottom lip between my teeth before viciously biting down. It stung like hell, but it was nothing compared to what my stomach felt like. Blood began to trickle out the wound, coating my teeth and tongue with its metallic taste. When enough of it had pooled in my mouth, I swallowed without hesitation. Exhaustion washed over me, making me yawn widely. I didn’t fight the pull of sleep.

The sudden blaring of the TV startled me out of my sleep. I flinched, sitting up while rubbing my eyes. I glared at the damned TV, seeing a blank blue screen. I groaned, swinging my legs off the couch to reach for the remote to turn the damn devil box off. Why it was making such an insufferable noise was beyond me. 

“ _What an interesting mindscape you posses._ ” A disembodied voice murmured. My fingers froze above the power button on the remote, head jerking up to look around my small apartment. 

“Who’s there!?” I demanded, hating how panicked my voice sounded. How could someone break-in? I locked all three locks on my front door, and I was on the ninth floor with no balcony. The same voice chuckled, the sound so deep it vibrated my very bones. 

“ _Surely you have not forgotten who I am,_ ” That was definitely a man’s voice, but I didn’t recognize it. 

“J-just leave, I have a gun!” I shouted into the darkness that encompassed my apartment. The TV’s blue light only seemed to illuminate the couch. My limbs shook as fear started to take over my body. I was going to be killed. This was unfair god damn it! 

“ _Lying is a very bad thing to do Chise._ ” The voice admonished, and I felt the slightest twinge of shame. Chise? My mouth scrunched up in a confused frown.

“I-I think you have the wrong person my name is-” The tinkling of metal around my neck drew my attention away from my sentence. There hanging around my neck were two metal pendants. My awareness slammed into me. What the hell was going on? What happened to the temple? “What is this?” I asked out loud, staring in awe at the piece of technology in front of me. They had TV here, but nothing like the ones they had in my old world. The air around me became dense, a tangible anger beginning to fill the air. I gasped at the familiarity of the presence in the room. Was this-? 

“ _Yes, I am._ ” The anger was still there, barely controlled. Holy shit I’d just threatened Jashin-sama. “ _You may atone for your blunder at a later date._ ” I think he was reading my mind. I definitely hadn’t said any of that out loud. Then again, I was on my couch in an apartment from a world that I had already died in. 

“Why are you here Jashin-sama?” I must be dead, that’s the only explanation for him coming. Actually, that didn’t make much sense…I was only a follower for little over six months. 

“ _I shall heal your wounds,_ ” My eyes searched the darkness around me. Why would he do such a thing? I wasn’t a long-time follower, it’d make sense if I was another one of the priests. It also meant that I was dying. Tadashi really had it out for me then. I’d always thought the man didn’t like me because I was a child. Well…kind of a child. “ _My gifts are never without a price, do remember that…dear little Chise._ ” His voice dripped with saccharine affection. 

I woke up. My gaze met the craggy ceiling of my room. I blinked, aware that my heart was beating unnaturally fast in my chest and my skin was covered in a light sheen of sweat. I contemplated just lying there until someone came to check up on me, but my curiosity over Jashin-sama’s words got the better of me. He said he’d heal me…

I sat up, only a fraction of me was shocked that there was absolutely no pain at all. The room was rather dark, almost all the candles were burnt to nubs, but there was enough light to see at least myself. The once pristinely white bandage was darkened with my blood. I peeled it off, again only slightly surprised when I felt absolutely no resistance from the blood crusted bandage. 

My entire stomach was unmarked. The skin was as smooth as it had been when I first dedicated myself to Jashin-sama. I had expected to at least sport the scar of the ordeal, but he had made sure that wouldn’t happen. He had healed my burns and then some. My entire chest was unmarked, even the welts from the whip were gone. I was completely and utterly healed. 

“This is weird…” I muttered, running my hand down my chest. An idea struck me and I reached around to touch my back. No raised skin met my fingertips. “Holy shit.” A giggle bubbled over my lips. This was fucking awesome. Jashin-sama took away all my wounds. The giggle grew into a chuckle as the shock of the entire situation began to sink in. I’d spoken to Jashin-sama. Oh Jashin, I’d threatened him! 

Oh, I had to tell Elder Gurou! I jumped out of my cot, paying no mind to the protesting squeal it gave. He’d flip when I told him Jashin-sama healed me. The stone floor was chilly against my bare feet. I grinned wildly, geez I’d spoken to a God! I skid to a stop in front of his door knocking impatiently. The door jerked open revealing the Elder Priest. 

“Elder Gurou!” I exclaimed excitedly, gaining his attention. 

“What are you doing out of your cot!?” He demanded, sounding more surprised than angry. 

“I spoke with Jashin-sama! He-He healed me!” I beamed up at the grumpy old man. His eyes narrowed as he continued to stare at me. I rolled my eyes, grabbing his hand. “Here, feel.” The hallways were nearly pitch black, he probably thought I was delirious. I pressed his hand against the unmarked skin of my stomach. He let out an audible gasp. 

“By Jashin…” His hand wandered over my torso. I was smiling so wide my cheeks were beginning to hurt. “You’ve truly been healed. We all must pray for thanks. Wake the others.” He ordered retreating back into his room. 

“Yes Elder.” I gave a small bow of my head and went about doing as he asked. 

I pushed any questions about the reasoning behind Jashin-sama’s gift, and what I’d have to give him in return for it into the back of my mind. I was far too happy to worry about such things


	12. Home Again

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you guys so much for the comments and kudos! I love them so much! I hope you enjoy this new chapter!

_A Few Years Later_

In a few short months I’d be fourteen, and a few weeks after that I’d be celebrating six years as a disciple of Jashin. The thought made me smile. Jashin-sama gave me a purpose in my life. He had yet to ask for payment for the gift he gave me, but I knew I’d repay him one way or another. Jashin-sama never did anything without a reason. 

My training had continued to grow as the years went by. I had yet to use the whip with the hooks. Takahiro kept telling me I wasn’t ready. I think he was frightened after what had happened with Tadashi. He didn’t want to be responsible if my body gave out again. I loved the man’s intentions, but seriously…we were acolytes of _Jashin_ , the God of death and destruction. 

In fact, almost all of the priests were beginning to get uncomfortably overbearing. They were supposed to be these fearsome priests, ones that could withstand even the most hellish torture sessions, yet they acted so soft around me. When I had first came to the temple they were nice for obvious reasons, but that politeness should have melted away the longer I stayed. They should have gone back to being the way they were before once I assimilated into their ranks. It was annoying as hell. 

That’s probably why I ran away. Okay…so I wasn’t really running away. I planned on coming back, I just needed to clear my head for a bit. Get some fresh air. A girl could go stir crazy in that temple. I saw the same faces 365 days a year without interruption 

The one thing that I never tired of was worshipping. It was the only time I didn’t feel like something was being kept from me. I knew logically it was me being paranoid, but I still couldn’t shake the feeling that the priests were acting differently towards me.

Maybe it was puberty. I hated it the first time, and it was only worse this time around. I was overly emotional, and my periods had it out to get me. No amount of praying and meditation could alleviate the deep stabbing ache in my womb. I guess not even Jashin-sama could control that pain. It was disheartening to say the least.

There was training with Kiyoshi. I thanked Jashin-sama every day for that man being at the temple. I wanted to be a ninja when I was a child, and now I was one…well unofficially. I could put up a decent fight depending on who was attacking. Kiyoshi had been a Tokubetsu Jonin. He specialized in assassination. I had an indepth knowledge of human anatomy from my lessons on acupuncture with my Kaa-san. 

I had met Kiyoshi’s summons, a rather large gray rat that went by the name Akane. She was pretty adamant that the rats and I were incompatible together, so I didn’t have a summons. Kiyoshi still taught me a few tricks, though it took nearly all my chakra reserves to do them. I had deadly accurate aim with any kind of flying projectile, whether it be shuriken or pair of bloody pants. I missed using senbon. 

Which is why I was now heading west, back towards my home village. My father had gotten me a pack of senbon for when I graduated to genin. I’m positive that I was at least at genin level, so I figured I deserved my gift. Going back didn’t freak me out as much as I thought it would. 

I was more worried about what Elder Gurou would do to me when I returned. An ex-shinobi village was _nothing_ compared to that man’s wrath. He was one of the few priests not to treat me any differently. He was still stern and uptight as ever. Other than to get more supplies and sell off the wool from the sheep, the priests didn’t venture out of the temple much. Dai hardly ever let me tag along with him whenever he went to the small village by the temple. 

I’d snagged a map before heading off towards Yugakure. It was surreal to learn how close to my old village we actually were. It brought up many questions about how Hidan had been introduced to the religion. I didn’t really know what to think of Hidan anymore. The rage was still there, in the back of my mind, waiting for another opportunity to take over and kill him. Yet there was another part of me that simply wanted to see him again. It’s been nearly four years since he last visited the temple. 

He got to explore the world while I was stuck underground. I just wanted my senbon. I knew that my aunt and uncle were most likely still around, but I was never particularly close to them. I felt the smallest twinge of guilt at my callous thoughts. They probably thought something terrible had happened to me. 

I shrugged, leaping effortlessly from tree limb to tree limb as I continued on my way. There wasn’t much I could do about it in all actuality. I gave myself over to Jashin-sama. I would keep that promise no matter what. If I played my cards right they wouldn’t even know I had been in the village. 

The babbling of a brook drew me out of my thoughts. I jumped from a tree branch, my eyes narrowing as I took in the small clearing. There was a small stream moving steadily downstream. The dirt was dark with nutrients, a few rocks jutting up from its depth. Birds and other small woodland creatures chirped and chattered going about their day. With a shake of my head I continued on my way. I didn’t have time to sight see. 

It was sundown by the time I made it to the village. The walls had been taken down. I could see far into the village. The once proud gates had been taken down, replaced with a sign that read “Welcome to Yugakure”. I took a shuddering breath and walked forward. 

Hidan had been welcomed home with cheers. Hardly anyone even so much as glanced my way when I walked under the large archway. I was a wearing long cloak, the heavy hood pulled far over my head. I didn’t want to be recognized. Despite not having been to the village in for years, my feet moved on their own winding a familiar path towards my old home. 

The shop had been converted into a boutique of sorts. Through the front windows, I could see a woman standing behind the counter, her gaze focused on the book in front of her. Women’s clothing were strategically hung up on racks on the walls and on the floor. My head tilted upwards. The lights were off in the house above it, but I had an inkling of a feeling that the woman lived where she worked. Much like my family had done. 

My aunt and uncle must have wanted to get rid of the property. They probably had our belongings, unless they got rid of them too. I scratched at one of my scabs on my wrist absently as I tried to recall how to get to their house. They lived in the residential area of the village, which if I wasn’t mistaken was only a few blocks to the left. 

The village was open to tourists and travelers alike, so no one paid a lone hooded figure traversing through their streets any mind. I resisted the urge to hop onto one of the power lines. I didn’t want to draw attention to myself. 

“Kaoru, you’re such a noob.” An older thinner looking Hitomi stepped out of the shop in front of me, quickly followed by Kaoru. 

“I’m a noob? You’re the priss who can’t take a joke.” He retorted with playful lilt to his voice. Hitomi smiled indulgently at the young teen. I blinked while staring at them unabashed. Judging from how close they were standing I’d say they were an item. Huh, who woulda thought Kaoru would get with a girl he tormented in ninja school. They looked so _happy_ …disgust curled in my stomach. Kaoru’s gaze shifted toward me. I jumped up and onto the nearest roof, dodging his eyes by mere milliseconds. I had to be careful not to let my emotions get the better of me. 

I only came here for my senbon. 

“What are you looking at Kaoru?” I heard Hitomi ask curiously. 

“Uh…thought I saw something…must have been my imagination.” He sounded a bit dazed, which was fine by me. 

“I didn’t see anything, it was probably just a chill.” She dismissed. I physically shook my head to keep myself from listening to any more of the conversation. I needed to get my senbon and leave. The quicker I got what I came for, the sooner I could get back to the temple. Elder Gurou is going to be so furious with me when I return. 

I nimbly ran across the power lines, my eyes searching for the once familiar yellow house. The further I travelled into the residential district, the less activity there was on the street. I pointedly pushed away any nostalgic thoughts that threatened to overcome me. If began to think of my family I’d surely break down. 

I skid to a stop on the power line I was on. Directly in front of me was the house. The windows were illuminated with the bright electric lighting, and from my vantage point I could see my aunt and uncle at the table. They looked exactly the same as they did years before, a relatively boring couple whose plain looks complimented each other well. There was a small child, no older than three, seated at a high chair beside my aunt’s seat. They had a child. 

My heart thudded against my chest. I had a cousin. The toddler, if the hair was any indication she was a girl, was making wild hand gestures while her face split into a huge smile. Whatever she was saying made my aunt and uncle laugh. The adults shared a loving look before turning their attention back to their daughter. Were my parents ever that happy? A poignant sting manifested itself within my chest at the question. 

I can’t recall a time when my parents looked so content to be in one another’s presence. They were always arguing, always fighting with one another. All I ever saw were the forced smiles and false pleasantries. They could hardly even pretend to like one another in front of me. My vision blurred. “Damn…” I muttered, wiping away the tears with the back of my hand. I couldn’t afford to get emotional. It happened a long time ago. They were gone now. 

None of it mattered. 

I had no idea where or if they even kept my belongings, but I was determined to find the senbon even if it meant having to steal it from the person they sold them to. I needed to ask them directly. So much for keeping a low profile. I swallowed thickly, wiping at my eyes one last time before dropping off the wire. I channeled chakra into my feet to cushion the landing. 

I walked slowly to the front door, enjoying being able to watch them look so happy. I wasn’t sure what’d happen when I knocked. They sure as hell wouldn’t look so carefree. I was effectively about to ruin their night. My knuckles rapped gently on the wood, unable to bring myself to knock any louder. 

I strained my hearing, listening for any signs that they had heard my quiet announcement. The muffled sounds of footsteps soon drifted passed the closed door, and I took an involuntary step backward. No…I had to do this. I steeled my resolve, legs locking into place to keep me from retreating any farther. The metallic click of a lock being disengaged reached my ears. My fingers itched to scratch at my wrist. I could do this. All I needed to do was ask about my senbon. That’s all. 

The door opened. My uncle stood in the doorway, a smile still reflected in his eyes despite the curious set of his lips. I suppose it was kind of late for a visitor. He looked a lot like my Tou-san. “Yes? Is there anything I can help you with?” He asked politely looking relatively relaxed, but I could see the miniscule tension around his eyes. He was once a shinobi. He knew to never let his guard down completely. I swallowed thickly, all I needed to do was ask about my senbon. 

“Uh.” Real smooth Chise. “Uhm…” His eyebrows rose expectantly while his stance changed ever so slightly. Crap he was starting to get suspicious. 

“If you don’t need anything, I suggest you leave.” My eye widened in panic. He couldn’t walk away. I needed to get my senbon. With shaking hands, I pulled the hood off my head. “…Chise?” My gaze hesitantly lifted to meet his. He was staring slack-jawed at me, eyebrows nearly in his hairline from shock. 

“Hi.” I gave him what I hoped was a smile. My palms were beginning to sweat from nerves. My voice must have pulled him out of whatever revere he had been in, because the next thing I knew I was being crushed in a hug. 

“My God, it really is you…” His voice wavered, thick with emotion. Minoru, my uncle, pulled back to get a good look at me. “You’ve grown so much.” His brown eyes shone with tears. “Oh! Come in come in.” I had no choice in the matter, seeing as his hands never left my shoulders. “Izumi come here, Chise’s back!” He called into the house. 

There was the distinct sound of a chair being toppled over and the running of footsteps before my aunt appeared in one of the doorways. Her eyes, as brown as her husbands, went wide as saucers as her gaze landed on me. Her hand rose to her mouth gasping softly, tears instantly gathering in her eyes. I looked away, uncomfortable with such an open display of emotion. 

“Oh Chise…” There was a hitch in her breath, before she too crushed me in a hug. My body tensed immeasurably as I warred with myself on how to react to this situation. A part of me wanted to let go of the stranglehold I had on my emotions, to allow myself to relish in the obvious love these people held for me. This was my aunt and uncle. My last living relatives. People Hidan hadn’t killed. The burning sensation that rose from my cloak being rubbed and pressed tightly against the raw skin of my back kept me from doing such a foolish thing. 

I had to keep up with my worshiping, even outside of the temple. My personal whip, a small tightly braided leather with metal beads threaded through the end strips, served as my training tool while I was on the road. Jun had gotten it for me for my twelfth birthday. It was the perfect length for me to use on my own. The beads always gave it a certain sting that a regular whip lacked. 

Pain would keep me focused on my task. I couldn’t allow myself to become distracted. I needed to get back to Elder Gurou, so I could accept my punishment. Surely, he’d have something interesting lined up for me. Maybe he’d use the whip with the hooks. A shiver of excitement ran down my spine at the thought. A hand cupped my chin, drawing me out of my thoughts.

“Oh, you’ve gotten so beautiful! You look just like Mei.” A sad smile grew on my aunt’s face, shiny tear lines on her cheeks. When had she started crying? 

“Don’t smother the girl now.” My uncle chided his wife gently. She shook her head, but stood up, thankfully letting me go. Izumi wiped at her eyes, her gaze never wandering away from me. 

“I can’t believe you’re here. We had thought-” Her voice caught, and more tears trailed down her puffy cheeks. My uncle put a comforting arm around her shoulders. She automatically turned into him beginning to cry profusely. 

“We can ask those things later. How about you join us for dinner Chise? Ah, I’ll bet Kimi would love to meet you.” I was reminded once again, that my uncle had been a shinobi once. He was able to push away his emotions in favor of keeping a calm head. Again, I was tempted to accept. It would be so easy to allow them to dote on me and feed me. They had obviously been distraught after my sudden disappearance all those years ago. I knew without a doubt, that if I chose to, they’d let me stay with them. 

“I can’t.” I straightened my cloak, wishing I could take the uncomfortable thing off. The cloak itself was loose fitting but I hadn’t worn anything resembling a shirt since I came to temple. The extra layer was really starting to bug. I knew that I couldn’t take the cloak off. If they saw what lay beneath, they’d surely freak out. My words seemed to surprise them. My aunt lifted her head from her husband’s chest. “Do you have any of my belongings? I’m looking for the senbon my Tou-san gave me.” 

“Well of course, I kept everything but Chise are you-” 

“Can you please give it to me? I’d really like to have them.” I needed to get out of this house. I needed to pray to Jashin-sama. The tightness in my chest was only growing with each passing moment. If I didn’t get out of here soon, I’d lose control. I’d start to be consumed by _those_ emotions again. I couldn’t stay objective with them looking at me in that manner. 

 

“Sure thing,” My aunt gave me a placating smile, taking a step towards me. “Why don’t you come in the dining room with Minoru, while I go get your belongings?” Her eyes softened, warmed with a look only a mother could possess. 

_“You look so beautiful Chise.” I glanced at my mother through the mirror. Her brown eyes alit with love. I was wearing my new kimono for the town meeting tonight. “I knew that it would look great on you.” Her warm hand gently squeezed my shoulder. She bent down, pressing a kiss to the top of my head. “I love you my little star.”_

“Never mind, this was a mistake. I need to go.” I twisted quickly on my heel, my heart pounding erratically in my chest. My eyes burned, I had to get away from these people before I lost it. 

“Chise wait!” My aunt shouted as I made my retreat, her hand grasping the cloak. 

“Let go!” I cried out, panic suddenly seizing my entire being. Shit…I needed to get far away from here. From this village and all its memories. I didn’t want them. I didn’t want to remember my parents. I didn’t want to recall how much they loved me. How happy I was with them. 

“Please, Chise!” I jerked my body at the exact moment she tugged on the cloak. The oversized clothing was pulled far too easily off my body, revealing the naked flesh beneath. “Oh my god…”

I glanced down at myself, seeing what I always saw. Skin pale from lack of exposure to the sun, yellowing greens of healing bruises, the dark scabs of broken flesh knitting itself back together, and the pink scars that were never given the time to fade. When the priests looked at my body there was always an expression of pride on their faces, but the looks on my relatives’ faces nearly made me want to cover myself up. I hadn’t witnessed such a look of horror on someone’s face since the massacre. 

“W-who did this to you?” My uncle whispered, eyes reflecting the same emotion as his wife. My throat constricted, could I tell them that I did it to myself? That this was a part of my faith? I had never been ashamed, never questioned my decision to dedicate myself to Jashin, so why did I feel such trepidation about it now? “Chise, answer me.” He took a step forward, anger beginning to exude from him. 

“I-I…” The soft tinkle of metal drew my attention to my rosary. The sight of Jashin-sama’s symbol quelled my fears immediately. It didn’t matter what they thought. All I needed was Jashin-sama’s approval. My finger traced the smooth metal absentmindedly, using it as a tool to keep me grounded. “I just want my senbon.” 

Something akin to understanding passed through my uncle’s face, all traces of his anger being wiped away. “Okay, Izumi will you please get her box of things? Chise, let’s go in the dining room.” My aunt looked like she wanted to argue, to demand why I resembled a torture victim. None of them understood that I was proud of my cuts, bruises, and scars. It was physical proof of my devotion to Jashin-sama. 

If I was so proud, then why couldn’t I tell them the truth? 

I pushed the question to the back of my mind. The quicker I complied with my uncle’s request, the quicker I’ll get my senbon. I nodded silently, and my aunt’s head bowed in defeat. I picked up my fallen cloak, slipping it back over my head. She’d dropped it when she realized what she was staring at. I followed him into the dining room. 

“Tou-san!” A bright voice exclaimed when we walked into the room. Their child, Kimi I believe he said, really did look like her parents. Even at such a young age I could tell she’d be neither beautiful nor ugly when she grew up. A plain child for plain parents. An asset in the world ruled by shinobi. “Who’s that Tou-san?” She asked, large eyes zooming in on me. I sat at one of the empty chairs, as far from my uncle and his daughter as I could. 

“That’s Chise. She’s-” I didn’t want the girl to know we were related. I wanted nothing to do with her. 

“I’m the daughter of a friend.” The sharpness in my tone shocked me. I gripped my rosary tightly. 

“Yes. Hey Kimi, why don’t you go play?” He asked, hefting the little girl out of her high chair. 

“Otay Tou-san!” She grinned and hurried out of the room, balance still a bit wobbly. She probably just turned three. I returned my attention to the table, wishing my aunt would hurry up so I could leave. 

The night was beginning to wear on, and I hadn’t done my Evening Prayer. Maybe that’s why I’m feeling so out of it. Jashin-sama was angry with me for not praying to him. The moment I left the house I’ll find a secluded area to perform my prayers. I’ll cut both my wrists as a plea for forgiveness. Tomorrow I’ll use my senbon during my training, a new way to worship in his name. Elder Gurou will enact any other punishment he saw fit for me leaving the temple without a word. A smile tugged on my lips, yes that’s it. I should be able to appease Jashin-sama with that offering. 

“Chise,” My uncle’s voice drew me out of my thoughts. I blinked at him, letting him know I was listening. “Can you tell me what happened the night of-” He didn’t have to go on. I knew he was referring to _that_ night. 

The flash of metal as it whistled through the air, the wet gurgle my mother made as she was struck, the warmth of blood as it bathed me, and that damned sorrowful smile on her lips as she died flashed through my mind. I shuddered as the dreadful memory replayed. I didn’t want to remember. I didn’t want to think about it again, not after so long. 

“No.” My voice was flat, contradicting the inner turmoil I was beginning to fight off. I was strong enough to move past the memories and the emotions that accompanied them. I vowed to never let it consume me. 

“Okay, but Chise I must ask, where did you go?” I really needed my aunt to hurry up. Again, I felt apprehensive to tell him the truth. He had been active during the war, most likely fought side by side with Hidan. He must know who Jashin-sama is. If I told him I went to the temple, that I dedicated myself to the same god that Hidan worshiped, what would he think of me? Hidan was the man who murdered our family. 

What did that say about me? 

“A safe place.” Yes, Jashin-sama’s temple was safe. He gave me a purpose in my life. A reason to keep waking up in the morning without being crippled by guilt. I saw his jaw clench, eyes focusing on my covered torso. 

“Clearly it isn’t safe, with those-”

“Every mark on my body is consensual.” I spoke, irritation ringing clear in my voice. I pinned him with an angry glare. This was taking far too long. I needed to pray to Jashin-sama. 

“Why would you do such a thing to yourself?” I abandoned gripping my rosary to scratch at the scabs on my wrist. The brief flare of irritation that came from picking at it was a welcomed distraction. “That night was so terrible. By the time we realized you weren’t among the dead, we…” The stench of blood filled my nostrils and the terrified screams of citizens echoed in my ears. I dug my fingernails into the healing cuts on my arm, gasping as pain bloomed from the action pushing away the suffocating memories “We looked everywhere for you Chise, don’t think that we didn’t.” Blood coated my fingertips. “We even went after Hidan but…” I absently traced Jahsin-sama’s symbol on my wrist, thankful for the cover of the cloak for once. “There was no trace of him.” 

The thick familiarity of Jashin-sama’s presence draped over my body. My fingers stilled, my uncle’s words fading out. Suddenly my mouth itched to confess everything to my uncle. To tell him that I had converted to Jashinism. Jashin was my true God, and Hidan my High Priest. Explain to him that I didn’t come back because Hidan had done me a favor by taking me to the temple. Tell him that I owed Hidan for showing me the truth. 

My stomach knotted uncomfortably. I didn’t owe Hidan anything. The bastard murdered my parents. They were heathen’s though, sinners who did not believe in the word of Jashin-sama. My parents… _no_ they did not deserve their fate. Hidan did not have to kill them that night. He did so because he was angry. No amount of divine coaxing would convince me otherwise. My chest felt heavy, as if someone was pushing on it. 

“Hidan had-”

“It took a little digging, but here they are.” As quickly as his presence came, it disappeared. I shut my mouth, thankful for the disruption. I wasn’t ashamed of being a Jashinist…I simply didn’t want to cause any more trouble for these people. My aunt held the pristine pack of senbon in her hand and the holster I had gotten for my eighth birthday in the other one. 

“Thank you.” I stood from my seat, hurrying towards my objective. Finally, I could leave this village. That night wouldn’t threaten to overwhelm me once I got away from here. I could be free of their burden once more. My uncle looked a bit peeved at not getting the explanation he wanted. I took them from her hands, smiling gently down at the black case. The terrible tightness that had grown in my chest dissipated. These were gifts from my Tou-san. My aim had always been the best when I used senbon. “I’ll be leaving now.”

“Chise, you can’t.” My aunt Izumi’s eyes were wet with more tears. “You just came back, surely you want to stay.” A hopeful little smile grew on her lips. 

“My place isn’t here anymore.” I shrugged, stowing my cargo away in a pocket of the cloak. I only needed my senbon. “Goodbye.” I smiled up at her before walking towards the front door. 

Kimi was hiding on the curve of the stairs, her curious eyes watching me as I made my way into the foyer. I flashed the child an impish grin and a wink before making a hand sign to transport me outside of the house. It was about as far as I could get myself to go without seriously draining my chakra reserves. I had a long journey ahead of me after all.


	13. Death of a Priest

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here's the thirteenth chapter of Learning Curve! Thank you all for the kudos and the comments. They are all highly appreciated! I hope you guys enjoy!

_A Few Days Later_

“Ah!” I yelped as the hot poker was lightly pressed against the middle of my back. I was shackled to the wall, my arms stretched above my head to keep my body upright while Elder Gurou doled out my punishment. I returned from my impromptu trip a day ago, and he’d been as righteously angry as I suspected. 

He knew that being whipped was my preferred method of worship, so being the mean old bastard that he is, he chose to burn me as a punishment. Ever since the incident with Tadashi, who had never been reprimanded for nearly killing me seeing as I got to speak with Jashin-sama because of said attempt, I avoided being burned at all cost. Mind you, Elder Gurou knew how to control himself and I trusted him not to give me third degree burns. He pressed the poker against my back again. “Ow!” I exclaimed, squirming uselessly against my bonds to alleviate the pain. 

His touches were always light and fleeting, but it didn’t make them any less painful. I wasn’t even allowed to worship, so there was no pushing through the pain. This was solely for punishment purposes. I was only slightly peeved that he wouldn’t let me worship. Elder Gurou’s anger was more directed towards the fact that I left without a word, and not that I had left the temple. 

Had I told him I wanted to visit my old village, he would have shipped me off with a keep up with my worshiping. Easy as pie really, but I hadn’t wanted them to know I wished to leave. I just…wanted to go. My senbon were currently residing in my trunk beside my small collection of books. I couldn’t wait to use them during training with Kiyoshi. “Gah!” I flinched away from the searing metal, “Elder Gurou haven’t I been punished enough?” I whined. My arms were numb and cold from loss of circulation, and my shoulders ached. 

“Mm.” He hummed contemplatively. I groaned in relief when I heard the iron poker being set down. “I suppose it will suffice.” His wrinkled scarred hands made quick work of my fettered wrists. I slumped backwards into his chest, moaning as my abused back rubbed against him. “Stupid child,” He muttered hands gripping me from beneath my arm pits as he hefted me into a decent albeit wobbly stand. “Running away like a prisoner. Takahiro!” The door to the room opened. 

“Yes, Elder Gurou?” Had he been standing outside the door this entire time? Elder Gurou must have been burning my back for at least ten hours. 

“See to it that she gets looked at.” Another low moan of pain left my mouth as Elder Gurou unceremoniously thrust me into Takahiro’s arms. “You have permission to visit the village nearby whenever you please Chise, I do not wish for a repeat of this incident.” A lazy smile grew on my face at his words as he left.

Takahiro gently shuffled me around until he had a better hold on me. I was still relatively smaller than the other priests, but I had started to sprout up a bit in the height department making it just a tad bit awkward to carry me. I grunted as blood started to rush back into my arms, giving me that creepy pins and needles feeling. The elder man glanced down at me and snorted as he caught the uncomfortable look on my face. “Let me take a guess, you want something to eat?” 

“Yes please…” I mumbled sagging against his chest. Takahiro merely rolled his eyes before walking out of the room. 

I must have dozed off on the way there, because the next thing I knew I was being set down on the stone bench in the dining hall. I blinked blearily, glancing up a Takhiro’s face. “Try not to fall over while I get the medical supplies.” He advised hand hovering over my shoulder cautiously. 

“Go an’ get ta cream, we’ll be fine.” Kenta’s warm voice preceded the familiar weight of his hand on my other shoulder. Takahiro nodded at the other man and headed off to get my bandages. “Elder Gurou work’d ya over pretty good.” He gave a short whistle as he looked at my back. 

“Meh…” I murmured slumping forward, resting my head against the cool stone table. The surface was worn smooth from years of use. It was carved straight out of the floor of the cave a very long time ago. “Ahhh!” I howled as someone slapped my back. It felt as if someone had shoved thousands of needles through my skin the stinging was so bad. 

“That’s for being stupid, Kid.” Dai admonished, voice heavy with disapproval. I panted heavily, unwilling to move for fear of agitating the burnt skin. “And here’s breakfast.” The steaming bowl of stew was set gently in front of my face, a decent sized piece of bread resting precariously on the lip of the bowl. 

“Thanks.” I gasped out cautiously sitting up so I could eat. Dai’s soup had never tasted better than it had right then and there. I was hurt, hungry, and wished to curl up on my cot and sleep for a day or three. 

“Y’know if ya’d said ya want’d ta go…” Kenta trailed off, most likely receiving a glare from Dai. I don’t think the Akimichi was done reprimanding me. He moved to stand opposite of me, arms crossed over his large chest, eyes narrowed as he stared down at me. I swallowed the mouthful of soup in my mouth, ready to apologize. 

“Dai…I’m sor-” 

“Elder Dai.” I blinked momentarily stunned by his words. 

“What?” 

“During your absence I was given Elder status. You missed my spiced bread.” Shame welled in my chest at his admission. Becoming an Elder was a huge deal. Many priests died before ever attaining Elder status, because they wished to perform the Consecration Ritual. I bowed my head, knowing that a simple sorry wouldn’t suffice. I pursed my lips, wondering what I could do to make it up to Dai for missing his promotion. 

When I lifted my head back up he was still staring at me expectantly. Dai, or Elder Dai now, always preferred burning as his personal worship method. The only part of him that wasn’t burnt was his face. I think it had to do with damaging his clan markings, though he never said so himself. He obviously knew how much his body could take before shutting down. He’d been a young man when he came to the temple. Elder Dai had worked for this his entire life. I swallowed nervously before speaking. “I would be honored if you would help me further my training as a priestess of Jashin-sama.” 

The smallest of smiles twitched on the man’s lips as he nodded solemnly. Despite the curl of anxiety in my stomach, I smiled relieved that he had accepted my apologetic offering. Elder Dai is a man I truly admire, and I trust him not to try and kill me like Tadashi did years before. “Finish your food.” He waved at the cooling bowl of soup as he walked back towards the kitchen area. 

“Tha’ was a very brave thing ya did Lil’ one.” Kenta complimented me, smiling when I glanced his way. I nodded hurriedly eating my soup. I knew that when Takahiro returned I’d be in too much pain to want to eat anything afterward. 

“Ah, well if it isn’t the little runaway.” Jun’s softer voice travelled towards us as he and Takahiro walked into the dining hall. 

“Hello Jun.” I greeted him, tearing a bite off of the bread and popping it into my mouth. Jun sat himself down across from me, blue eyes narrowed in calculation. 

“Mm, and here I thought Elder Gurou would have actually punished you.” I scoffed at the blonde man’s comment. Of course, he’d think a few hours of being poked with a hot metal poker was child’s play, Jun himself used the poker as his daily worshiping tool. 

“Lean forward Chise, I’m going to apply the cream.” Takahiro instructed, lightly pushing on the back of my shoulder. I complied with a slight grumble, I hated that cream. It stung like hell and made me stink. 

“Ow ow ow.” I yelped as he smeared the foul-smelling gunk on my burns. 

“How is it that you can handle one hundred lashes without ever making a sound, yet you whine at the slightest touch of a burn?” Takahiro asked a smile ringing clear in his voice. 

“Burning hurts!” My voice squeaked as his fingers passed over a particularly painful burn. The three of them snickered, obviously enjoying my torment. A smile cracked over my lips. 

It was nice to be back.

_Jashin’s Temple – Winter_

I spent my fourteenth birthday lying on my cot covered in bandages too stiff to move. Elder Dai was a wonderful mentor. He helped me overcome my aversion to using heat as a form of worship. I, of course, still preferred whips, but I was thankful that Elder Dai guided me through the wonders of being burned. 

He accepted it as a worthy apology for missing his promotion to Elder, and not tasting his spiced bread. Apparently Elder Dai was very proud of his spiced bread, or so Jun told me. Ever an Akimichi I suppose. 

My consciousness is 39 years old. My old life sometimes seems like a dream, but I can’t let myself forget it. My experiences and memories from that life heavily influence how I behave in this one. Especially my knowledge of this world’s future. I still wasn’t entirely sure what I wanted to do with it all. I could drastically change everything about this world. I could save Obito from being crushed. Kakashi wouldn’t get the Sharingan, and while he was always a bad ass having that kekkai genkai saved his life on multiple occasions. Hell, I could even try and keep Yahiko from sacrificing himself which made Nagato go off the deep end. 

Truthfully, I don’t want to change the timeline at all. I loved Naruto. I just wanted to live my life in this world, and hopefully not die before seeing any of the action. I mean sure, the fate of the world is at stake, but it worked out in the end once, who’s to say it won’t with me in the picture? 

Did it make me a horrible person not to do anything when I knew good people were going to suffer and die? 

I view suffering so much differently than I did in my past life. Suffering wasn’t something to avoid but embrace head on. Without suffering no one would grow or move forward. It was the greatest teacher of all. 

“Are you ready?” Takahiro’s voice drew me out of my musings. I was sitting cross legged in front of my bed on the floor meditating. I blinked rapidly, looking up from the floor to see him standing in my doorway. My burns from Elder Dai's teachings have healed into scratchy scabs.

“Yes, just let me change my pants.” Tadashi was going to perform the Consecration Ritual today. We were to wear our best clothing, meaning we all got a new pair of wool pants. I walked over to my trunk, opening it up. I’d gone through a bit of a growth spurt in the last few months, so the new pair was a welcomed change from my ever-shrinking pants. 

Once I was dressed I followed the elder man out of my room. I now came up to his bicep, which was a welcomed change to the belly button view I’d been subjected to in my earlier years at the temple. I finger brushed my hair, thankful that Elder Dai had told me I could grow it out again. He didn’t want to set it on fire on accident while burning me, so he’d had Jun cut it to about chin length. I wasn’t particularly opposed to short hair, but I liked it to be at least shoulder length so I could put it in a bun. 

The Sanctuary was already set up for the ritual. In front of our Lord’s statue stood a stone table. The black stone was shined and the surface convexed so that all blood would spill into the gouges on the floor. The participant’s blood would then fill up and complete the carved symbol in the floor with their own life essence. The other priests would be kneeling on the inside perimeter of the circle meditating while the ritual was in process. 

The ritual itself involved the one performing the Consecration Ritual and an Elder Priest opening up the participant’s veins. The participating priest had to be completely nude before the Elder Priest would begin by cutting open the four major pulse points, when they had been properly bled he would then slice their throat. What happened after that was a bit of a mystery. We only knew that if they awoke within three hours then Jashin-sama had blessed the priest. If they didn’t wake up then they were honored for giving their life to our Lord. 

The glass was already spread evenly around the circle. Tadashi was standing beside the table with Elder Gurou and Elder Dai, they were speaking in hushed tones. All three held their rosary in their hands. A last-minute prayer. We slipped our sandals off besides the others. The other priests were already gathering at their designated points. 

The glass bit into the scarred soles of my feet, but I hardly even felt pain from such small wounds. I knelt beside Kiyoshi; we were stationed directly next to the ritual table. My heart thumped loudly in my chest. I had yet to witness the Consecration Ritual. 

“It is time to begin.” Elder Gurou’s voice echoed in the large cave. I took a calming breath, all I needed to do was cut my wrist while he said the prayers. We would go into a meditative state and stay that way for four hours. “Thank you Jashin-sama for allowing us to faithfully carry out your will for another day.” I grabbed ahold of my star, raising my wrist high enough so I could make the cut. I would need to get a new chain soon, this one was beginning to shrink. “Today we are gathered here to assist Priest Tadashi in beseeching Jashin-sama to bless him with his greatest gift.” I swiftly drew the sharp blade across my wrist, repeating the action twice more for the three points in the triangle. 

My hands were shaking when I did it again this time on my opposite wrist. Shit…why was I nervous? I took a deep calming breath, hoping to clear my mind so I could meditate properly. I lowered my bleeding wrists to my sides, allowing the blood to run onto the ground. “Jashin-sama on this day, I, Tadashi, willingly relinquish my life to you. I pray that I am seen as worthy in your eyes for it is because of you that I have purpose in my life. In your name, My Lord, I spill this blood so it may reach you.” 

From my spot by the table I couldn’t actually see the ritual. I was facing the base of Jashin-sama’s statue. Kiyoshi’s breathing was evening out. They were already beginning to meditate. I took another deep breath through my nose, before slowly releasing it through my mouth. I repeated this for several minutes, listening to the breathing of priests around me and the wet sound of metal cutting into flesh. 

It started off as a faint trickle, making me glance towards the table. The red liquid dripped from the edges. My eyes widened as the flow increased and soon I could feel small droplets of blood spray my arm. Tadashi’s breathing never changed, cutting was nothing compared to his own worshipping regimen. There was so much…

My chest heaved involuntarily and I snapped my attention back towards the feet of Jashin-sama's statue. It was just blood. I’ve seen blood every day of my life since I came to the temple. This was nothing new. The sound it made hitting the floor reminded me of the babbling of a creek. I squeezed my eyes shut willing away the memories from that night. It was just blood. There was nothing- His presence blanketed us all. I slumped forward in relief as my panic receded. 

Jashin-sama was here. 

I opened my eyes, slowly lifting my head to look at the statue’s face. His ruby eyes stared down at me, glinting in the soft candle light. Would he give Tadashi immortality? The man had been in his service for decades, never once wavering from Jashin-sama’s path. He also tried to kill me when I was nine. 

Should I fault him for those actions though? It is because of his attempt on my life that I got to meet Jashin-sama. I snorted inwardly, meet wasn’t the right word. I got to hear my Lord’s voice. I was healed by him, kept from the death Tadashi wished upon me. 

I owed Jashin-sama my life. 

Those ruby eyes flashed suddenly. I looked around myself, wondering if anyone else noticed the change in the statue, but all the priests were focused on meditating. Elder Gurou had finished his task, and now knelt with the rest of us. I could no longer hear Tadashi’s breathing. He was dead. A weight settled on my chest, and I knew that he would not wake up. 

Kiyoshi shifted beside me, drawing my attention towards him. His small eyes were narrowed even further. My brow lowered in question and he nodded in return. He knew the truth as well. Jashin-sama had made his decision. 

Tadashi would not be blessed by Jashin-sama. 

_Five Hours Later_

The dining hall was silent tonight. No one touched the food set out in front of us. The air was heavy with the weight of Tadashi’s death, oppressive. We worshipped a god that reveled in death. They were not mourning Tadashi’s death, but his failed attempt of the Consecration Ritual.

I’ve died once myself, I’ve seen dozens of people killed, and I myself have taken a life, yet… I suppose that’s the million-dollar question that ‘yet’. I don’t entirely know what to think about death any longer. Elder Gurou told me that faithful followers of Jashin-sama would join him in death. I pledged my soul to Jashin-sama, I don’t believe I’ll be reborn again if I were to die. 

While death itself did not scare me, it was the thought of just how I’d die that frightened me now. The cancer was painful, but in this world people died in far more horrific ways. “Come Chise,” Takahiro’s voice broke me out of my thoughts. He stood up from the table, prompting me to follow him. 

Tadashi died today. The quiet rush of water in a stream filled my ears. I glanced down at my arms, the left one was still spattered with his blood. My hands grew numb from the remembrance of the biting sting of icy water. My chest heaved at the sight. My steps faltered momentarily. “We’re almost there Chise…” his hand was warm on my shoulder, banishing the chill of the memory. We were nearing the private worshiping rooms. 

I followed Takahiro into one of the rooms. The familiar sight of the whips hung on the racks was comforting. Yes…worshiping would take my mind off of my unwanted memories. My guilt. I reopened my cuts from earlier to draw Jashin-sama’s symbol onto the ground before taking my position within it. My hands gripping the wooden pegs jutting out of the stone in front of me. “The bullwhip Takahiro.” 

“Of course, Chise.” He grabbed the appropriate whip before standing a few feet behind me. “You should not mourn Tadashi.” The whipped cracked against my skin, bringing with it the wonderful flash of pain. He repeated the action several times, each new burst of pain quickly changed into relief. It had become second nature for me to do so now. 

Takahiro was wrong. I wasn’t mourning Tadashi’s death. I felt absolutely nothing when it came to the deceased priest, and that is where my problem lay. I felt no remorse and no sadness. I _should_ be sad; a man had died today. I might not have liked him all that much, but he was still a man. Still a living breathing person, and I couldn’t even bring myself to feel bad about his passing. 

I understood that none of the priests were either, they only mourned the failure of the ritual, not the man. It _disturbed_ me. In my old life death was the end all be all of situations to be sad about. You were supposed to mourn someone when they died. Mourn the loss of their life and yet…

Had I changed so much? I lost my grip on the pegs, crumpling to the ground. Death was just death. There was nothing saddening about dying. Though the circumstances of my parents’ death still haunted me, I did not mourn them being _dead_. How could I think that though? Takahiro dropped the whip, moving quickly to my side. They were dead. I should still be utterly disturbed by that fact. He was talking to me, but his words were muffled. In my old life I wouldn’t be able to move on from such a loss.

Takahiro took my face in his hands, eyebrows pinched in worry. In my old life….my old life was _done_ , I needed to stop dwelling. I needed to move on. “Oh Chise…please don’t cry.” His thumbs wiped away the tears I was unaware I had been shedding. 

“Why aren’t you sad?” I asked, my voice small in my ears. I hated sounding so weak. A relieved smile broke out across Takahiro’s face. 

“Because Jashin-sama visited us all today.” It was so simple. So Jashin damned simple. It made perfect sense. I had felt his presence in the Sanctuary during the ritual. “Tadashi may not have been blessed, but we were graced with our Lord’s presence, and that is enough to make me happy.” 

I needed to move on from my past life’s morality. It would do me more harm than good in the long run. I needed to learn how to live and survive in this life alone. “I’m sorry for worrying you Takahiro.” 

“That’s alright. We all have our moments of weakness. Just remember to ask for penance during your evening prayer.” I couldn’t help but chuckle at his reply. 

Things would get better…they had to.


	14. Quid Pro Quo

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Double chapter tonight everyone! So most of this chapter briefly touches on Chise's life up until she's seventeen. The timeline will slow down again after this chapter. Let me know what you think everyone!

_Jashin’s Temple – Livestock Pin - Spring_

“Show me your henge.” Kiyoshi ordered standing a few feet in front of me. We had finished caring for the animals a few hours before and we had time to spare before our next chore. 

“Alright.” I took in a deep breath, “Henge!” I performed the seal making sure I used the right amount of chakra. I tended to use too much whenever we sparred leaving me a heaving mess on the floor from exhaustion. 

“Mm is this one of the villagers?” He asked, appraising my illusion with shrewd eyes. He may be an overall jolly man, but when it came to my training he was very strict. I nodded, inwardly smiling that it had worked. 

I currently looked like an elder woman with a stooped back and a kind smile. She ran the fruit stand in the village, and sometimes would let me take a pear free of charge whenever I passed by. I would usually stop in to chat while Elder Dai took care of the errands. 

“You mimicked her presence as well…very well done Chise.” Kiyoshi smiled at me approvingly making me grin in return. It wasn’t often he complimented me on my henge. He was very strict when it came to such things, probably because his career depended on being sufficiently able to hide one’s presence. A soft breeze swirled through the area, the sun momentarily breaking through the thick clouds covering the sky. 

“I wonder if it’ll rain again…maybe we should move the animals into their shelters.” I murmured eyes narrowing slightly as I looked at the sky. I could have sworn it was sunny out a few- “Shit-ah K-kai!” I made the seal of release but the scene before me didn’t disperse. “Kai!” There wasn’t even a ripple in the genjutsu as my chakra flared outwards. I scowled about to repeat the action when I felt the sharp tip of a kunai pushing into the flesh of my lower back. 

“It took you seven seconds to realize you were under a genjutsu. I could have killed you three thousand different ways.” The area around me shattered like glass, and the brightness of sun in the cloudless sky momentarily blinded me. I hissed flipping away from Kiyoshi, rubbing at my eyes. “How do you expect to be of any use when you can’t even break the simplest of genjutsu?” I glared piteously at the man earning a stern look in return. 

“I’ll simply incapacitate the person before they have time to cast the genjutsu.” His mouth pinched in a frown, resembling even more of a rat than he did normally. This was a face that was normally reserved for when he was truly annoyed with me. 

“And what if it is a trigger based genjutsu? You must keep working at this Chise, we’re done for the day.” I released my henge without a word. “You’re taijutsu needs more work as well.” My teeth grit together momentarily. I’ve been working really hard on increasing my stamina, but it just wasn’t paying off. 

“You can just come out and say it…I’m a pretty shitty ninja.” A slightly constipated look overtook Kiyoshi’s face making me roll my eyes. I grabbed my pendant and murmured a plea of forgiveness to Jashin-sama simply to appease the man.

“You come from civilian blood, of course you’ll struggle with the ninja arts.” He commented with a small shrug, unwilling to tell me the truth. I’d always dreamed of being a ninja, but it didn’t seem like that was in my stars. I struggled too much in genjutsu and taijutsu for my ninjutsu and kenjutsu to ever make an impact. My stamina was fine, but I was physically weak. “Remember Chise, a great assassin only needs three things.” 

“The ability to kill, the skill to leave no trace, and an escape route.” I droned back to him. “I’m not strong enough to make it through a fight.” I picked up my fallen weapons methodically. 

“Physical strength isn’t everything in this world. If you are quick on your feet and can keep a level head when the favor of a fight turns against you. That is all you need to survive a fight.” I watched Naruto enough to know that he was telling the truth, but it wasn’t very comforting news. My talent would be in subterfuge, murder, and running away. Ninja’s were like that anyways, but at least they all did something interesting. “You know Chise, had I not been the one to train you that senbon you threw would have permanently paralyzed me.” 

“Ya…sorry about that Kiyoshi.” I chuckled placing my weapons in their pouches and hidden pockets. 

“You truly are gifted in that area.” 

“Only because you’ve made me practice with them so many times.” I countered his compliment with a small grin, my bad mood momentarily forgotten. 

“That is very true!” He grinned from ear to ear boastfully. I rolled my eyes at the man. “Elder Dai said that there is another war.” I glanced around the area, searching for any kind of glint. 

“Mmhm.” The village we frequented was about an hour or so out of Shimogakure. Shimogakure was a very small hidden village that served more as a front-line defense against incoming invaders for Kumogakure. With the increased movement in the forest above the temple and surrounding the small town, I’d say the war was well on its way. 

“Well Jashin-sama will protect this place like he always has.” I smiled, nodding in agreement. The war would not touch us here. That was between the non-believers, not us. 

The Third Shinobi War would take and alter a lot of lives. I knew that in the beginning Konoha struggled to keep a stronghold on their land, that they almost lost the war many times until the tides began to turn at some point. I think it had to do with Minato, but I wasn’t too sure anymore. The one thing that was clear to me was that with the outbreak of war things would begin to snowball canon wise. 

I was still on the fence about changing anything. I don’t know what good I could do anyhow. I wasn’t a very talented ninja, and to make any kind of difference I’d have to be jonin material. Who’d believe me if I started talking about the future anyways? It wasn’t like I could walk up to any of the canon characters and tell them ‘hey if you do this you’re going to die, so try something different’ without being labeled a lunatic. 

“Priestess Chise.” My head snapped up at my title. It wasn’t often the priests referred to me as such. Elder Dai stood a few feet away, looking slightly exasperated. I felt a blush creep onto my cheeks. “Elder Gurou needs more medication.” I started walking towards him. Elder Gurou’s health was beginning to fail him as age took its toll on his body. “I need you to go to the village to buy some.” He handed me the small pouch of money. We earned money from selling our excess wool and milk. While we were pretty well off, we weren’t completely self-sufficient. 

“Of course, I’ll be right back.”

 _Veneration Room – Sixteen years old_

“I’m done.” I told Takahiro, letting go of my grip on the pegs. I pursed my lips, “Something’s not right.” I murmured stepping outside of the circle of my blood. I stretched my back, facial muscles twitching as the abused flesh throbbed in protest from the movement. 

“Why do you say that Chise?” Takahiro asked, placing the whip on the table to be cleaned. I twisted around to look at him. He hadn’t hit any lighter today than normal and the bullwhip wasn’t unraveling, yet something about the session felt…wrong. Lacking somehow. 

“I felt the usual relief but it…it was…hollow.” My brow furrowed worriedly. This couldn’t be right, how could giving my flesh and blood over to Jashin-sama feel _hollow_? My fingers itched to scratch at my wrists. I swallowed thickly, meeting my companion’s gaze. I saw a flash of some emotion in his eyes before it was quickly covered up. 

“I’m sure it is simply you being overtaxed.” He brushed off my skeptical look with a small smile. “Do not worry so much Chise. You are an excellent follower of Jashin-sama.” I didn’t bother redoing my chest bindings, seeing as I was going to bed after this anyways. It was long after dinner, most of the priests had already settled in for the night. After a few moments we walked out of the room.

His reassurances didn’t assuage my uneasiness over the situation. It didn’t _feel_ right to feel such an emptiness while training my body. The relief that had once been all consuming could now hardly even pique my interest. I loathe to use the word but…my sessions were becoming _boring_. 

Takahiro walked me to my bedroom, leaving me with a goodnight and a reminder to pray. I closed the slightly creaky door with a shove. The dampness in the air had begun to warp the wood again. I lit the candles in my room from memory alone. 

The squeal of the metal frame no longer bothered me when I climbed into bed. I pulled the itchy blanket over my legs, heeding Takahiro’s word about not having anything touch the welts on my back. The last thing I needed was another infection. My eyes drifted shut, and with it my consciousness. 

_The Land of Frost – Forest - Summer_

It was relatively hot today in the Land of Frost. The heavy cloak soaked up the sun’s rays, turning its normally billowing airiness into a sauna. My cuts and welts stung as sweat began to roll down my skin. It was mid-summer, and the weather normally heated up around this time of year, but only for a short while before we fell back into a state of perpetual winter. By autumn I would turn eighteen

No one was around for miles, but I didn’t risk taking the cloak off. I learned from one failed field trip that having my cloak off in front of non-believers led to a lot of unwanted attention. A heavily marked up teen wasn’t an everyday sight, even in these troubled times. 

I was heading towards the village, Yama no Fumoto, to get medicinal herbs for Elder Gurou. The old man’s age was finally catching up to him. He didn’t trust any of the doctors in the village to treat him. I’m pretty sure it had to do more with him being a paranoid old man than his supposed ‘they are non-believers and therefore inferior to us’ reasoning he told me. So old fashioned remedies it was. 

I always thought the village’s name was pretty funny. It literally meant Bottom of Mountain, which is where it was situated. Yama no Fumoto was nestled at the base of the mountain that held Shimogakure at its highest peak. Now the mountain itself wasn’t that large, but because we were already at a higher elevation than most, it gave the hidden village its name sake.

I really hoped that the price of the herbs hadn’t spiked again. I really wanted to have some change left over so I could buy myself a pork bun. Elder Dai’s cooking was great, but he used absolutely no extra spices or flavors other than salt and pepper. Even those were used to a minimum. I’d been salivating over the thought of having another one of those steamy delicious treats for weeks.

A pained scream drew my attention away from my task. It was coming from the east, maybe a hundred yards out. I looked behind me, the secret entrance to the temple still within my sights. Whoever was fighting, was far too close to my home than I was comfortable with. If I could manage to sneak up on them I could incapacitate them with my senbon before they even knew I was there. 

I couldn’t let them get close to the temple. With a determined set to my shoulders I took to the trees, heading toward the sound of the fighting. Quiet as a rat, Kiyoshi always told me, quiet and still. It would do me no good to be caught sneaking around a fight. I must be constantly aware of where I put my feet, how deeply I was breathing, and how loudly my heart beat. I must calm my entire being in order to attack without ever being noticed. 

The person screamed again, another voice followed immediately after. They must really be going at one another. I took a deep breath, preparing myself for my first ever fight. They were just beyond the break in the trees. The image I saw made me still in my tracks. 

A dozen or so feet below me was Hidan and a Kumo-nin. My heart thudded against my chest at the sight of the black skin with white bone like markings. He stood inside Jashin-sama’s symbol, a black chakra pole sticking through his thigh. 

“What is this!?” The Kumo-nin growled, struggling to balance on his one foot. A kunai gripped tightly in his hand. 

“I told you already!” Hidan yelled, pulling the pole out of his leg. The man let out a pained scream, falling to the ground clutching his bleeding thigh. “I hate repeating myself.” His voice was low and guttural with pain and pleasure. 

“Just die!” the man’s hands flew through a series of hand signs as he began muttering the jitsu. “Rock style!” My heart dropped at the sight of the earth moving towards Hidan. If he was thrown from the circle he would lose Jashin’s gift. I gripped a senbon, ready to throw it at the man’s shoulder joint to break the jutsu when Hidan jumped high into the air dodging the rock skillfully before landing in the circle again. 

“Tsk tsk, now that wasn’t very nice was it!” he stabbed his other thigh, moaning as the other man screamed. “Isn’t this great!? I’ll show you Jashin’s will!” My lips parted as Hidan continued his ritual, my stomach curling at the sight of his blood. My hand gripped my rosary, by Jashin this was… “Jashin, I sacrifice this heathen’s soul in your honor!” he shoved the metal pole through his chest, collapsing to the ground himself. I gasped, leaning forward panting heavily. By Jashin that was beautiful. 

I dropped from my perch on the tree branch, hesitantly moving towards the sacred scene. Both Hidan and the man were dead, though I knew Hidan would awaken in a few moments. Blood pooled around the man, face forever twisted in horror as he gasped his dying breaths. Eyes clouded already with the absence of the soul. That soul went to Jashin-sama. Hidan gave Jashin-sama sustenance far greater than our self-sacrificial devotion each day. _This_ was Jashin-sama’s gift, the gift to fulfill his hunger and need. The gift to serve him for eternity. 

A smile curled onto my lips as warmth pooled in my stomach. I felt more alive watching Hidan perform the sacred ritual than I have in years. No longer was there a hole to be filled within my chest. I could feel Jashin’s presence once more in this place. I knew what I must do then…I would perform the Consecration Ritual. 

There was a strangled cough and muttered curse behind me. I spun around to see Hidan sitting up. The pole still in his chest. He looked ever the same from the last time I saw him years before, though his hair was a bit wild looking at the moment. Jashin’s gift receded, leaving his pale skin behind. His red eyes met mine before he smirked. “Enjoy the show brat?” I scowled at him. 

“You knew I was there?” I asked, my head cocking to the side. I had made sure to mask my presence and everything. He grunted as he pulled the stake out of his chest. 

“Of course. Jashin-sama lets me know whenever a fellow follower is near.” I blinked. I didn’t know he had that power. Nothing had ever touched on the specifics of Hidan’s gifts though, so it made sense he’d have powers I was wouldn’t know about. 

“Is it so that you don’t accidentally kill a follower?” He stood up, brushing off his pants and folding the pole back up. 

“No brat, it’s so I know who’s a fucking traitor.” 

“Oh…” well that made sense. He was the only priest allowed to kill another human being. He snorted shaking his head at me. 

“What the fuck are you doing out here anyways?” Hidan asked as he methodically removed the blood symbol from the ground. 

“I was going into the village, but I heard a scream and wanted to make sure that no one would discover the temple.” He glanced upwards at me, surprise written clearly in his eyes. “I planned on incapacitating any enemy and moving them away from the temple.” 

“Kniyoshi been training you?” I nodded and he ‘hmmed’ in response. “That was good thinking brat.” I smiled at the compliment, they were few and far between when around Hidan. “But you’d have gotten your tiny little ass kicked if you tried to fight that heathen fucker.” My nose scrunched up and before I was even aware of what I was doing I threw a senbon at the other man’s neck. 

It hit its mark and Hidan toppled over with a gurgle. I walked calmly towards him, his eyes red with anger as he glared up at me. “Now what was that about getting my ass kicked?” I asked sweetly as I bent down to pull the metal from his spinal cord. 

“Cocky brat.” I chuckled as I wiped it clean on my cloak. 

“I have to go to the village, are you heading towards the temple?” I asked as he stood off and had to brush his pants off again. 

“Ch, why are you going to the village?” He asked, strapping his scythe to his pants. 

“Gurou needs medicinal herbs for his arthritis” I explained flipping my hood back over my face. 

“I’ll go with, you’ll probably try to use the leftover cash to buy food.” I stopped walking for a second as Hidan’s words washed over me. The asshole didn’t trust me with the money? “I’m starving.” I let out an involuntary snicker at his words, so he wanted food as well huh? 

Damn, now I’d have to share my pork buns. 

_Jashin’s Temple – Two hours later_

“I can’t believe that bitch, she tried to over-charge you for the fucking herbs.” Hidan growled as we entered the temple. I rolled my eyes. Reminding myself to never go shopping with the man ever again. He complained about everything, especially the clerks. I tried to explain how the price of herbs had gone up, but he’d have none of it, going as far as to threaten the woman to get her to lower the price. 

“Ah, High Priest Hidan.” Takahiro bowed when he rounded the corner. “We were beginning to wonder if you had wandered off again Chise.” My cheeks burned red. You run away one time…

“I have Elder Gurou’s herbs.” I held out the bag of herbs for him to take. 

“Remember you’re cloak Chise.” I nodded as he took the bag from my hands. I easily slipped the heavy cloth over my head and shoulders. My welts stretched at the movement making me wince. Hidan made a noise making me turn towards him. His eyes were assessing the marks on my body, both healed and fresh. 

“Nice work kid.” I smiled, _this_ compliment meant a lot more to me than the earlier one. “Takahiro, take me to the old man.” Takahiro bowed deeply and swept his hand in a follow me motion. 

I needed to put my cloak away before I went to Elder Dai. He would most likely need help preparing dinner, and I had finished my morning chores for the day. The musky scent of blood and incense filled my nose when I walked into my room. I’d need to wash my bed roll again; the dried blood was beginning to crust up. It got unpleasantly scratchy whenever it started to do that. 

I laid my cloak inside my chest and left the room without another thought. Elder Dai was in the kitchen. The man was almost always in the kitchen unless he was praying. I suspected that if Elder Gurou would allow it, he’d pray in the kitchen as well. 

“Ah, Little One, it’s a pleasure to see you. I heard you entered the temple with High Priest Hidan?” How did he even know about that already? I nodded anyways, holding my tongue for I knew he wouldn’t answer the question. “I wonder what brings him to the temple this time.” The tone in his voice made me pause in putting my apron on. 

“What do you mean by that Elder Dai?” I asked looking towards the large man. He sighed continuing to chop the vegetables. 

“Start peeling the potatoes.” He ordered. I figured he wasn’t going to answer my question. “A heavy burden lays upon High Priest Hidan’s shoulders, Chise. He is the only follower who hears Jashin-sama’s will directly. He only comes to the temple when Jashin-sama commands it.” His words made me frown. What would Hidan be in the temple for now? It had been a long time since Tadashi died in his failed Consecration Ritual, was that it? 

We worked in silence for a while, too lost in our own thoughts to have an ongoing conversation with one another. Hidan’s presence was always overbearing when in the temple, why didn’t I notice it in the forest? Was I losing my faith? Dread filled my veins, was he here to kill me because I no longer felt the same relief from my veneration training? He did say he could tell when someone was a traitor. Oh fuck…

“Forgive me Jashin-sama for my heathen words.” I muttered hurriedly. I still felt the same about Jashin-sama, if anything my love and respect for him had grown over the years, not diminished. Did I do something wrong then? 

“Elder Gurou how can you even entertain the idea?” Takahiro’s raised voice travelled down the hallway. 

“Are you questioning Jashin-sama’s words?” Elder Gurou challenged as all three of them walked into the dining room. 

“Your words imply that I am lying.” Hidan’s voice was dangerously low. I felt a familiar shiver run down my back. 

“What is going on?” Elder Dai walked around the counter. I noted he still had the knife in his hand. Did he recognize the threat in Hidan’s voice as well? 

“No, that is not what I’m trying to say. I’m only trying to understand why.” I blinked, confused at the conversation at hand. Hidan scoffed. 

“He wants her. She owes him a favor. Don’t ya kid?” his red eyes steadied themselves on me making my stomach drop. They were talking about me, holy shit Hidan really was here to kill me. 

“I…are you talking about Jashin-sama saving my life?” My voice squeaked unnaturally. I cleared my throat anxiously. I was about to die…

“Jashin-sama’s come to collect on that debt, so I suggest you stop questioning my fucking judgment before I kill you for insubordination.” Hidan growled low in his throat. Takahiro’s eyes widened and his mouth set in a scowl. He was about to attack Hidan. 

“I’ll do it!” I yelled, moving quickly towards the men. “I knew that one day he would ask for me to repay my debt, and I accepted it then, it would be cowardly of me to back out of my word.” All I wanted to do was hide under my bed and forget that Hidan ever came to the temple. That I wasn’t about to die. 

“See? The Kid’s all for it.” Hidan grinned wolfishly at the other man. Takahiro paid no mind to him, as his attention was solely focused on me. 

“Are you sure Chise? You’ll never get any older than you are today.” It was my turn to look confused. Why would I care about not aging when I was about to die? “You may not even survive the ritual.” 

“Wait…what are you talking about? Of course, I’ll die…Hidan's gunna kill me right?” I looked towards the silver haired man for comprehension. He looked just as confused as I felt. 

“I ain’t gunna fucking kill you, you dumb brat!” 

“Then what are we talking about?” Hidan groaned loudly, rolling his eyes. 

“Damn you are stupid. Jashin-sama wants you to complete the Consecration Ritual.” Oh…that’s what Takahiro meant by never aging. I was seventeen years old, would I be okay with being this age for the rest of my life? I glanced down at myself. A body marked with the proof of my allegiance to Jashin-sama, muscles lean and firm from training. I knew that if I ate regular meals and didn’t work out I’d get as plump as my mother was before she died. Even my breast size was smaller due to how I ate. “If you don’t do it brat, I will have to kill you.” 

“Like I said…I gave my word.” A shiver ran through my body as I spoke those words.


	15. His Holiest Blessing

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Here it is! The Consecration ritual! I'm super excited for you guys to read the chapter. Let me know what you think. Thank you all for your lovely comments and kudos! I appreciate every single one of them! Enjoy! 
> 
> On a side note, I have to re-watch Naruto again since the last time I read/watched the series was back when it ended in 2015. The plot is so convoluted it's a lot to remember. Again, I hope you enjoy the chapter!

_Jashin’s Temple – Consecration Ritual_

 

“Chise…are you ready?” Takahiro’s voice traveled through the warped wooden door. I took a deep breath, grabbing my rosary from my personal alter before turning towards the door and opening it. The older man’s gaze held a note of worry in them. 

“How do I look?” To say I was nervous would be a gross understatement. This was by far the biggest ritual I would ever partake in. I could very well die today, at the hand of Jashin-sama. Takahiro smiled dispelling my worry. 

“Wonderful, now come…the preparations are complete.” I followed him down the hallway. The temple was strangely silent, all the priests were gathered in the Sanctuary instead of going about their daily chores. My fingers rubbed against the healed cuts on my wrist and I frowned. To prepare for the Consecration Ritual I had to meditate for seventy-two hours straight and not perform any kind of veneration worship. I had become so used to being able to pick at my scabs whenever I was nervous that it felt unnatural not to have them on my wrists. 

The obsidian table set in front of Jashin’s statue looked infinitely larger than it had when Tadashi did his ritual. My heart thumped hard against my chest. I took another breath, reminding myself that I could do this. This was the ultimate form of worship to Jashin-sama. 

Elder Gurou, Elder Dai, and Hidan were all gathered by the table. Takahiro left me to take his place in the circle with the other priests. I was already barefoot, so I simply started walking through the crushed glass towards the table. When the three priests turned their attention towards me, my chin lifted and my shoulders pushed back on their own. I was proud to be doing this. 

Whatever happened, today would be my last day as Priestess Chise. “Lay on the table, Priestess.” Elder Gurou directed me. The stone was surprisingly warm against my naked flesh. “Thank you Jashin-sama for allowing us to faithfully carry out your will for another day.” I glanced around, seeing that all three of them were standing on one side of the table, looking towards Jashin-sama’s statue. “Today we are gathered here to assist Priestess Chise in beseeching Jashin-sama to bless her with his greatest gift.” My stomach flopped nervously as Elder Gurou continued to talk. He held up the ceremonial dagger, the same dagger I had used to dedicate myself to Jashin-sama all those years before. It was my turn to talk. 

“Jashin-sama on this day, I, Chise, willingly relinquish my life to you. I pray that I am seen as worthy in your eyes for it is because of you that I have purpose in my life. In your name, My Lord, I spill this blood so it may reach you. And if I am seen as unworthy…I would be honored to serve by your side for as long as it would please you.” Elder Gurou lowered the dagger until it was pressed against one of my thighs. I blinked as he drew the knife across my flesh, severing the artery there. He repeated the action on the other leg. 

I knew it was Elder Dai who slit my wrists, because of the motion of the blade. Like he was chopping vegetables. The thought made me smile. He was ever an Akimichi. My vision darkened for a moment before coming back into focus. I blinked rapidly trying to gain my bearings. I was bleeding pretty quickly. I would be dead soon, and by Jashin-sama’s side. 

Hidan’s face swam in front of my face, the gleaming dagger held in his hand. I couldn’t feel it as he cut my throat. I never broke eye contact with him. His red eyes burning in the suddenly hazy world. Gray was creeping in my vision little by little, making it impossible to see. My body felt as light as a feather, as if I was about to float away entirely. 

Before my vision went black, I could have sworn I saw Hidan smile. 

My body jerked awake causing me to fall off whatever I had been laying on. I groaned audibly, squinting my eyes open to see a slightly blue carpet. Blinking rapidly, I pushed myself onto my elbows, looking down at the floor. That was definitely my carpet. I twisted my head, and sure enough there was my TV on a blue screen, illuminating my apartment. 

Shit did I fall asleep watching a movie again? With another groan I stood up before plopping down onto my couch. I had to stop sleeping on the couch. I would develop another kink in my back if I kept it up. 

“ _As much as you amuse me, we have much to speak about._ ” A familiar deep voice spoke. I flinched, looking around me for the source of the voice. There was an audible sigh, followed by a near crushing presence. I gasped, my hand rising to grasp my rosary. 

“Jashin-sama…,” was all I could think to say as awareness came back to me. Had his presence felt this heavy the last time we met? 

“ _Last we met, you were merely on the cusp of death._ ” His implications told me all I needed to know. I was truly dead this time. Only his blessing would be able to bring me back. I swallowed thickly, bowing my head. 

“I have come to pay my debt to you, my Lord.” Would I be found worthy of his blessing? Tadashi had spent decades worshiping Jashin-sama and in the end it wasn’t enough. What chance did I have in gaining his approval? 

“ _Your doubt is…intriguing young Chise. Was it not I that commanded you to go through the Ritual?_ ” The fact that he could read my mind was a little more than disconcerting, but his words only confused me. 

“One’s survival of the Consecration Ritual is not certain until you have decided it so.” It was entirely possible he asked me to do it, simply so I could join him sooner. His deep rumbling chuckle made my skin tighten.

“ _Very wise observation._ ” It almost sounded mocking to my ears. “ _As I have told my Disciple, I am here to collect the debt you owe to me._ ” I couldn’t even imagine what he might ask for. I only had my soul to give to him, which I would give without him ever having to ask. Jashin-sama gave me a reason to keep living, a purpose in my life. What could he possibly want from a teenage girl? “ _Ah, but you’re not_ really _a teenager, are you?This…other world of yours is of great intrigue to me._ ” The hairs on my neck prickled at his tone. I don’t know if I’d enjoy the next words out of his mouth. “ _I’ll offer you a trade…your memories of your old life and not only will your debt be paid…but I shall give you my blessing._ ” A pit sunk to the bottom of my stomach. 

My memories for a continued existence…to be given the holiest of blessings by my Lord. I would forget all about my previous life. The people I knew and loved…my family. Could I give them all up? My eyes widened slightly as realization dawned on me. “Wait…if I give up my memories then…” the chuckle that followed chilled me to my very marrow. 

“ _Yes…your prophetic knowledge of this world shall be gone as well._ ” The mirth in his voice was truly terrifying. 

“What about Hidan? He’s going to be-” 

“ _I am aware of the fate you have seen for my faithful follower. Do not despair young Chise. I won’t let the knowledge go to waste as you were planning on doing._ ” His words were a bit of a low blow, but I wouldn’t argue with him. Does that mean he’ll keep Hidan from being blown up and put in a hole? Or will he change everything? My skin tightened as Jashin-sama’s presence grew agitated. I shrank into the couch, perhaps I should stop questioning his will. Jashin-sama knew what he was doing, and if he told me not to worry then I shouldn’t. “ _What is your answer?_ ” Do I give up my memories to have Jashin-sama’s blessing? So, I can live my life worshipping the god who saved me? Am I willing to give up my knowledge of this world and my past? 

I hadn’t thought of what I would need to sacrifice in order to be given his blessing. It never even crossed my mind what would be valuable enough to trade. What harm would come to not knowing what would happen? I’d be freed of the burden of knowing who was going to die. I wouldn’t feel responsible for this world’s peace any longer. Jashin-sama said himself that he would use my memories. I could give it all up, and reach the pinnacle of Priesthood. 

I wonder what Hidan gave up to be given Jashin-sama’s blessing? 

“I…” I looked around myself. I was in an apartment I hadn’t truly been in for almost two decades. My life here was finished, and had been for a long time; it is about time I finally let it go. “I will give up my memories in order to receive your blessing.” 

“ _Good Chise…_ ” Jashin-sama’s voice rumbled through me. Suddenly the air became thick and balmy, making it harder to breathe. My eyes stung and I blinked rapidly to relieve the ache. A dark figure began to materialize in front of me, its face blotted out from the shadows cast from the TV. I couldn’t see properly, whatever had entered the air made my vision blurry. “ _Do not fight._ ” The blurry person in front of me spoke and I gasped. This was Jashin-sama. Why couldn’t I see him properly though? It was as if I was looking through wax paper. A cool hand touched my cheek, fingers trailing down to my chin. My skin burned where he had touched. “ _In time you shall see me,_ ” He leaned forward, his breath – which smelled like blood and incense – washed over my face. “ _But for now you will awaken._ ” I felt the lightest of touches against my lips before my world was ripped apart. 

My body convulsed as what felt like barbs dung themselves into my lungs, heart, and brain. My muscled seized trying to reject the invading force pressing upon it. A sickening sucking sensation rose within me. It felt as if my insides were being drawn out of me. I couldn’t move, couldn’t push him away from me to stop him from taking away my life. 

My consciousness grew heavier and heavier, it was getting harder to…. 

God I was getting so…

I needed…

What did I…

“ _Till next time, dear little Chise._ ” 

_Jashin’s Temple – Three hours after Ritual_

I awoke screaming. My body lurched forward as I sat up on the stone table. My stomach squeezed tightly making me dry heave. My hand clutched at my heart, feeling it thudding powerfully in my chest. My limbs shook as my head looked around, trying to make sense of where I was. I couldn’t focus correctly, everything around me was blurry. 

“Chise?” A hand touched my shoulder, it felt like acid against my skin. I screeched jerking away from whoever was touching me. I stood up on the table and jumped off, landing roughly onto an uneven surface. Little cuts and nicks bloomed over my skin, this was glass wasn’t it? “Chise wait-” I took off running, paying no mind to the new cuts on my body. 

I needed to get out, needed to see the sky, and needed to breathe fresh air. I couldn’t stay in that tomb. My feet guided me down a familiar path, leading me away from the Sanctuary and towards the outside world. The rickety wooden door came into view, my hands fumbled slightly with the handle before I threw it open. 

I ran to the edge of the cliff and breathed in deeply. The briny ocean air hit my face nearly making me cry in relief. I fell to my knees, looking towards the clouded sky. The gray clouds swaying slowing with the wind. My hands ran through my hair, familiarizing myself with it once again. I choked out a sob. 

I was alive. 

“Fucking gorgeous, isn’t it?” My head twisted around to see Hidan leaning against one of the cave entrance’s wall. His face came into sharp clarity, the glint in his eyes, the softness of his silver hair, and the amused curl of his lips. I wanted to ask him about his time waking up, but I couldn’t find the words. Hidan must have picked up on it because he spoke, “Did the same thing when I woke up, though I killed a priest on my way out.” He pointed out making me smile. “You wanna go back in?” I tensed, “Stay out here as long as ya need Kid, the Temple’s fucking overwhelming at first.” He nodded to me before heading back inside. 

I turned back towards the ocean with a tiny smile. If Hidan did the same thing as I did, he must have cried as well. 

I could barely wrap my head around the idea that I had died. There was no dying, but actually dead. My lungs had stopped breathing. My heart had stopped beating. I was gone…really gone. Jashin-sama brought me back. Tears reformed in my eyes, threatening to fall once again. 

He had saved me twice now…once from the despair that losing my parents caused and now from being dead. He brought me back to life. I owe him everything. Without Jashin-sama I am nothing. 

He is my savior; I will go to the ends of the Earth to serve him. 

I close my eyes, feeling the cold wind against my cheeks. The resolve settles within, taking with it all the panic and fear brought on by my death. I have died and been born again in Jashin-sama’s name. I am a High Priestess in the Temple of Jashin. As long as I serve Jashin-sama, nothing and no one can stand in my way…not even death. 

I stand up, noting that I don’t feel the sting of cuts on the bottom of feet. I lift one of them up to look at it, the skin is smooth and unmarred. I blink, looking down at my body for the first time. My skin is a pale shade of white, much paler than the tanned skin I had woken up with this morning. That wasn’t the oddest thing about it though, I had no scars. 

My wrists are free of the scars that crisscrossed its surface. My torso is bare of the circular marks of burning coals. My hands run down my back, feeling no raised skin. My whip marks are gone. I am truly reborn. Nothing but my faith has passed over into my new life. 

I pulled a lock of my hair around to look at the color. I was surprised to see that it was the same dark brown I was born with. I’d have to ask Hidan when my hair color would change.

I walk into the temple, expecting to feel the heavy presence of Hidan weighing down on my shoulders, but I feel nothing. No, that is a lie…I feel something but it’s not like before. It feels like a dozen or so hands pushing on a sheet in my mind, wanting to burst forth and occupy the space. It’s disconcerting…

The Sanctuary is still full when I emerge from the hallway. Elder Gouru is the first to notice me, with a single glance he silences the other priests. “Chise first entered this temple as a non-believer of our faith, bow my fellow priests to our newest High Priestess.” He gave a low sweeping bow, something I wasn’t sure a man his age could do anymore. 

Elder Dai was grinning as he bowed. Jun gave me a small thumbs-up before he lowered himself. Kenta actually gave a short clap as he bowed, making me snort. Kiyoshi bowed with a flourish, one of his summons by his side. It was Takahiro’s sad gaze as he bowed that gave me pause. I kept myself from frowning, wondering what would make him look like that. 

“You’re still a brat,” Hidan commented from his position by Jashin’s statue. The tone of his voice let me know he was teasing, for even he gave a small bow. 

My heart warmed at the sight. Hidan was proud of me.


	16. The Hooked Whip

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey guys, thank you all for the wonderful comments, kudos, and subscribes! I just want to apologize for how long this chapter took to come out. There's been a lot going on in my personal life that has made it hard to get into my writing. Let me know what you think about this new chapter!

_Jashin’s Temple – One day after Ritual_

“I can’t even do a simple henge!” I whined as I failed, once more, to gather the amounted chakra to do the technique. A technique I had learned to do when I was twelve. It was as if my chakra had become tar, sluggish and thick, making any attempt to shape it an impossible feat without exhausting myself. 

“It would seem that your ninjutsu is affected by the Consecration Ritual as Hidan’s was before you.” Kiyoshi pointed out, looking at me inquisitively. Come to think of it, I’ve never witnessed Hidan use ninjutsu. “You are far more talented in kenjutsu anyhow, so it does not affect your fighting much.” I huffed in annoyance, crossing my arms over my chest. 

“I liked my henge.” I grumbled childishly. It was fun to turn into different people and walk around the village. They didn’t look at me like the little girl who lived with the recluse priests. Kiyoshi rolled his eyes at me. 

“Perhaps in time you will learn how to manipulate your new chakra.” That was it wasn’t it…the chakra that ran through my veins now wasn’t the same from what I was born with. I was no longer an individual being with completely unique chakra, but one of the elites of Jashinism. As a High Priestess I was bestowed with many gifts, one of them being the essence of Jashin himself. The chakra that ran through my veins is the same as Hidan’s. “Maybe High Priest Hidan can teach you when you leave.” 

My stomach clenched in anticipatory nerves to my impending trip. I had duties to perform now that I was a High Priestess. Duties only Hidan could teach me, so it was time that I left the Temple. I was excited to finally be able to explore the world, but…I hadn’t been away from the Temple in years. The farthest I have ever journeyed was my ill-thought plan to visit my old village. 

What wonders awaited me out there? 

Where would Hidan take me first?

My head turned towards the tunnel that led into the temple a moment before Takahiro walked out of it. I could feel every priest in the temple. They’re chakra pushing gently against my mind, like a little kid’s hands pressing against a hung sheet. 

“Chise,” Kiyoshi turned towards Takahiro’s voice. “It’s time to go pack.” I nodded and looked back to Kiyoshi. 

“Thank you for teaching me,” I bowed deeply to the man before me. 

“No, Chise thank you.” He gave me a little grin. I hurried towards Takahiro, knowing how impatient Hidan could be if I made him wait. 

Takahiro hadn’t really spoken to me since the ritual. He’s been rather distant, only speaking to me when needed. It hurt, he was my best friend in the Temple. He was the first to befriend me, to take care of me when I over did my training, and to stay by my side when I got sick. I couldn’t find the courage to ask him why he was suddenly being so cold towards me.

We walked in silence to my room. I wasn’t taking much, just a change of clothing, and my accumulated packs of ninja tools. All my other belongings would stay in my room, waiting for my return. I strapped a pack of senbon to my thigh, before strategically placing more in the legs of my pants and chest wrappings. Kiyoshi drilled it into my mind long ago to always be prepared. 

I touched my hair, ensuring it was all still coiled into a bun at the base of my neck. I had been surprised to see that my hair was still tree bark brown. Hidan explained that while my skin changed during the ritual, my hair would gradually change as it continued to grow. My eyes would only change after my first sacrifice. 

“I’m ready.” I told Takahiro when I emerged from my room. He nodded and begun walking again. I wonder if Takahiro felt the same oppressive presence around me that I did with Hidan before the ritual.

Elder Dai and Elder Gouru were speaking with Hidan when we entered the Sanctuary. Elder Dai had two bento-boxes in his hands. A smile quirked onto my lips. “Took you long enough brat.” Hidan griped as I walked up to them. Takahiro bowed and walked away without a word of goodbye. I watched him go with a frown, what could have caused this change within him? 

“High Priestess Chise,” Elder Dai addressed me formally, “These are for the road. Be safe in your journeys.” I accepted the lunches with a nod. It would be just like him to make us something to eat. 

“Do not forget to return to the Temple for the winter rites.” Hidan rolled his eyes at the older man. 

“C’mon I’m getting antsy just standing here.” I bowed one last time before following Hidan. This wouldn’t be the last time I saw this place, I’d come back a full-fledged High Priestess with adventures to tell them about. 

I’d come back home. 

_Road – Four Days later_

“Is there any particular reason we’re heading into the Land of Fire?” I asked Hidan while we walked. We were travelling at a leisurely pace ever southward towards the larger country. 

As we descended from the elevation of the mountains that made up the Land of Frost it became much more apparent that summer was in full swing. The air was hot and dry with no breeze to alleviate the oppressive heat. My body cooked within the confines of my cloak, near begging me to get out from underneath the heavy material. I ignored its pleas even as I felt sweat roll down the back of my neck and temples. I felt naked enough outside being outside of the Temple’s halls for such a long period of time, I didn’t want to expose myself even further. 

“There’s a village that makes killer ribs during their summer festivals.” He answered not sparing me a glance when I momentarily stilled. 

“Ribs? We’re traveling to the Land of Fire for ribs?” There was a war going on. There would be ninja’s patrolling the roads and forests. There was no way they’d mistake Hidan and I for simple travelers. Hidan’s gait and presence just oozed confidence. The kind of confidence that came with being able to know how to kill and kill efficiently. Not to mention the scythe he had strapped to his back or the hitai-ate tied around his neck. 

We’d surely be attacked if one of the ninja’s spotted us. It didn’t matter whether they were Konoha nin or one of the other hidden village ninja’s. We posed a threat to all. 

Well…maybe Hidan did. I don’t think I was very threatening. I looked dwarfed next to him in my oversized cloak. He only had about an inch of height on me, but he walked as if he cleared six feet. He had large shoulders that tapered off into a tight waist with thick thighs. The body of a man who wielded a heavy weapon. Even if he had his scythe sealed in a scroll it was obvious that he was a fighter. 

He didn’t answer my inquiry. I shrugged letting the subject drop, if he wanted to be silent for the trip then I’d let him. Didn’t mean I understood why he wasn’t answering me. Hidan was and always would be a talker. He filled the silence with inane chatter whenever I was in his presence. I glanced over at him again, taking in the firm set of his jaw and narrowed eyes. 

I turned my attention to the road ahead, eyes scanning the trees that rose on either side of us. Was there someone tracking us? I stretched out my senses with an inward wince, looking for whomever may be watching us. Kiyoshi had drilled into my mind not to trust my physical senses for they could be muddled by a genjutsu. He had taught me how to feel for other’s chakra presences by using my own chakra. It hurt to force the sludge within my chakra coils and passages to move outward and away from my body. 

I felt nothing. 

We walked on in silence for a few miles before I couldn’t stand it any longer. “What the hell is wrong with you?” He was being absolutely pensive and it was beginning to freak me out. 

“You’re a nosy little fucker aren’t you?” He quipped with a quick glance in my direction.

“Only when I need to be.” I retorted, curling my hands into fists beneath my cloak. “You’re being quiet. It’s making me nervous.” When he was silent again, I got myself ready for another round of insults. I’d get him to talk about whatever was on his mind even if-

“I’m listening Kid,” My mouth shut as his voice cut off my thoughts. Another flick of those red eyes in my direction before he looked forward once more. “To Jashin-sama. You’re still too new to this form to even be able to feel his will properly. It’ll come in time, but for now just shut up and follow me.” I noted absently that he hadn’t cursed once. 

I fell back into silence by his side, contemplating his words. I wished to ask him the questions that arose from his answer, but I knew pissing Hidan off would only make my life harder. So, he could actually hear Jashin-sama’s voice? A shiver ran down my spine as I recalled the deep rumbling voice that shook my very soul. 

I ran my finger down my wrist, wishing I could scratch at the scabs that used to be there. My thoughts always came more easily when I was inflicting pain upon myself. All the useless jargon that banged around my mind fell away to the clarity of pain. 

It hit me that we weren’t going to the village solely for ribs. 

_Ume no Mura – Hotel_

Ume no Mura, the plum village, was curiously devoid of plums. They were in full swing of their Summer Festival. Even during the day there were vendors of all kinds out in the streets and people wearing their best kimono’s and outfits. 

It was rather crowded for such a small village. They were all celebrating yet another year lived, perhaps it was for the beautiful weather, or hell maybe they were celebrating a god. All I was grateful for was that Hidan and I’s arrival to the bustling village had absolutely no impact. 

He rented out a room in one of the two hotels in the village. Well actually one of them was an onsen, and he’d passed by that without a second glance. It reminded me of Yugakure, most likely why he decided on the other hotel. 

The hotel itself was one story with the building wrapping around a central garden in a square. The housekeeper also happened to be the owner of the place. She was a middle-aged woman with a tight smile and a gleam in her eyes that let me know she was aware of what kind of guests we were. She didn’t turn us away. 

I looked out the small window in our shared room. A child clutched a plastic bag with a fish inside of it to his chest, his other hand stretched up to hold tightly onto his mother’s hand. His hair was a sandy blonde color sitting in disheveled spikes atop his head. The mother was speaking animatedly to the man on the boy’s other side. The resemblance between man and boy was uncanny. They were a family. A hollow ache bloomed in my chest as I watched them. 

“They’re going to be sold out of those ribs you were talking about if you keep puttering about.” I told Hidan as I turned away from the picturesque scene.

The room had been transformed into a blank space, every single piece of furniture having been moved to the walls of the semi small space. Hidan was preparing for some sort of ritual. I doubt he’d have me perform my first sacrifice in a dingy hotel room in the middle of a village, but he still wasn’t filling me in on all the details. I gave up getting anything out of him. 

“I’m pretty sure it’s frowned upon to move the furniture.” I said as I moved towards the small desk he’d pushed into the corner of the room. I plopped myself onto its surface as I watched him get to work. He went to the light fixture on the wall across from me, giving it a few experimental tugs. He gave a nod of approval when the thing didn’t break. 

I frowned when he grabbed a sheet off of a futon. He twisted it around itself until it was tight with tension. He then hooked it around the light fixture and tugged on that a few times. I sat up straight as I realized what he was making. It was like the pegs on the walls in the veneration rooms. He was making a handhold that would keep whoever was holding onto it upright. “What are we about to do?” I asked my curiosity officially piqued. 

Hidan finally looked at me a slow smile curling on his lips. “ _You_ are about to do your first worship session for Jashin-sama as his High-Priestess.” A thrill of excitement rushed through my blood. I hopped off the desk coming towards Hidan. 

“What does it involve?” I asked searching my elder’s face for a hint at what I was about to do. Hidan let out a soft satisfied chuckle. 

“Begin how you normally would if you were in the Temple.” He gestured towards the makeshift veneration room he had prepared. I swallowed thickly as I reached for the small tie that kept my chest wrappings from unraveling. 

One bared their flesh to Jashin-sama. 

I walked up to the twisted sheet and light fixture. I’d be standing right here. I palmed the star that hung low on my neck, my rosary chinking as the metal bumped against each other. I lifted the sharpened edge to my wrist. The stinging pain that came from metal slicing flesh barely registered. I tilted my wrist down allowing the blood to drip onto the floor. 

I slowly drew his sacred symbol onto the floor with my blood. I could feel the change immediately when the symbol was complete. The air becoming thick and warm. “Ingest your blood, just as you did when you first dedicated yourself unto his service.” Hidan’s voice was deep and rough with anticipation. I raised my bleeding wrist to my mouth, allowing a few drops to fall into it. 

When I swallowed the metallic liquid, my skin tightened around my body. I felt momentarily trapped, as if my flesh was becoming too small to house my muscles and bone. I nearly cried out to Hidan when his voice broke through my moment of panic. “You are fine. Grab onto the sheet.” I followed his demand, “good.” His voice was almost a growl. “Now pray to our Lord.” 

I heard the singing of a whip an instant before I felt something dig into my flesh. A strangled screech left my lips as whatever had dug into my back ripped itself viciously free. My entire body shook as the pain continued to roll through me. Was that…? Was that the hooked whip? I didn’t dare turn to see if I was correct, what if Hidan decided to go for my face? 

I tensed as the whip sung through the air once more. Burning bile and spit choked off my next scream. I coughed and hacked. I barely had enough mind to keep ahold of the sheet while I struggled to breathe through the puke. I had never felt anything as painful as I did now. Nothing in my training had ever prepared me for this. “Push through it.” I flinched as Hidan’s voice sounded from my right ear. 

I convulsed when his body pushed flush against my shredded skin, making the wounds burn anew. His hands ghosted up my arms curling around my own hands before clamping down hard on the shaking limbs. “You know how to make the pain mean something.” He hooked a foot around my ankle and pulled it away making it so I was forced to sag into his body. I groaned wordlessly. 

I was near delirious with the pain. My chest screamed at me to take bigger and faster breaths. My limbs begged to collapse under my weight. My vision faded to a filmy gray. “ _My dear little Chise._ ” _His_ voice rumbled from within my mind. His thick vicious presence saturated my entire being. 

I felt it deep within the tightening of my gut; the first dreg of pleasure being pulled from the pain. I latched onto that small thread with a desperation I didn’t know I had. I wrapped it around myself, pulling it tighter and tighter until I was panting against Hidan. I pressed myself more firmly against his chest. 

I needed…

I needed more. 

Hidan’s hand left mine to travel to my back. My body arched momentarily away from him when his finger began to dig into the hole the hook left in my flesh. I moaned as the pain transformed into the pleasure I so hungrily sought. A few more probing digits within my flesh and my body seized. My vision bleeding white as bliss throbbed through my system. 

I was vaguely aware of collapsing against Hidan when my hands finally gave up holding the sheet. I felt myself being moved around until I was laid faced down on one of the futon’s. I trembled as I continued to experience the effect of my worship. 

I have no idea how much time had passed until I was able to turn my head to look at Hidan. I knew he was sitting beside the futon, because I could feel his presence next to me as clear as I could tell I was alive. My eyes hazily traveled to his, questions burning on my tongue. He smirked, “I’m almost jealous kid.” I frowned at his words, momentarily unable to find my voice. “The first one is always the best. If you reacted like that to worship, fuck I can’t wait to see what your first sacrifice looks like.” 

“Why did it…hurt so much?” I let out a heavy sigh when I finished the question. That was unholy exhausting. 

“It’s a part of his blessing. Everything is amplified, the pain and the pleasure. As I’m sure you noticed.” His eyebrow lifted in a lewd fashion. “Get some rest brat, you earned it.” He stood from his seated position beside me. I didn’t have the energy to argue with him. 

I promptly passed out.


	17. Travelling with a Jerk

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Thank you all for all the comments and kudos, I appreciate the support! My little sister recently died, so i haven't been able to write for the past couple of weeks. I'm sorry I made you all wait so long for the new chapter. This one is a bit longer than normal. I hope you guys enjoy!

_Ume no Mura – The Next Morning_

I awoke feeling better rested than I had in my entire life. There were no minute aches and pains from joints that stayed stationary for too long during my sleep, or the grogginess I normally felt upon waking. I was…rejuvenated. 

I sat up while I rolled my shoulders. I felt no tugging pain that followed whipped flesh. My hand gently set itself upon my naked back. It surprised me that there were no wounds, even though I knew that I had a wickedly fast healing rate. I looked around noticing Hidan was seated on the floor cleaning his scythe.

I am eight years old again, waking up from the worst night of my life. The sun is bright in the room, contrasting beautifully to the dark guilt that ate through my chest. I did nothing to stop Hidan from killing all those people, killing my parents. I just stood there…letting it happen. I could have fought him, could have pushed my mom out of the way. I could have saved them…

I know logically that there was no way I could have saved anyone that night. I wasn’t responsible for the massacre. I was an unarmed little girl who had never seen such carnage before. It did not matter that I was being trained in the ninja arts. I was just a little girl. 

“Mornin’,” I mumbled to Hidan. I stood from the futon. He acknowledged my greeting with little more than a grunt. A cloth ran rhythmically back and forth over the scythe, the heavy scent of oil hung around him. I went to the bathroom. I emerged a few minutes later to find Hidan in the same position. He really did clean his weapon thoroughly. “So are we actually going to attend the festival today?” Hidan’s talk of spectacular ribs yesterday had firmly planted itself in my mind. 

“Yes,” he put away his tools before sealing the scythe. “Hurry up, I’m starving.” I rolled my eyes. 

We were out into the bustling streets of Ume no Mura in no time. I was armed to the teeth in senbon, though one wouldn’t be able to tell without knowing where to look. I chose to forego my cloak today because the heat was unbearable. Since I wasn’t covered in scars, scabs, and bruises no one paid any attention to me. Hidan wore the same dark red pants as I did, but with wrapping around his waist instead of his chest. 

“So,” I clasped my hands behind my back, “besides eating some food what is the plan for the day?” 

“Don’t have any,” I frowned at his words. For nearly a decade my life was meticulously planned out from sun up to sun down, it felt unnatural not to have a plan. “I just want some fucking food.” 

We easily navigated through the throng of people on the street. People avoided us. It was subtle, almost impossible to pick out if I hadn’t already been people watching. Anytime we came near to someone they shifted their feet a little to avoid getting too near. They would turn into a shop before crossing our path. Did they feel that same _off_ feeling that I did when I first met Hidan? Was our blessing making the instinctual part of the human mind go off, telling people to turn away and run from us? 

The scent of roasting meat wafted out of a store front we were approaching. My stomach growled. Was this the rib place Hidan was so keen to go to? As we neared the entrance of the restaurant, I felt the same pressure in my mind as I did at the Sanctuary. There’s a follower in there… 

“Makes the best damn ribs in the region.” Hidan grinned as we stepped into the building. The hostess was a short old woman with steel gray hair. Her eyes lit up the moment she saw Hidan. 

“Ah Master Hidan!” She greeted him with a smile. “It is a pleasure to see you again! I shall let him know you are here. Sit wherever you like!” She gestured towards the dining room which had a smattering of people within it before hurrying into what could only be the kitchen. 

I followed behind Hidan quietly. Questions were burning in my throat. I didn’t know that there were any followers of Jashin outside of the temple. I thought all followers had to be at the temple. I thought they all needed to be priests. We sat in a booth meant for a large group of people. I didn’t comment on how rude it was to do so. Hidan would definitely not answer my questions if I pissed him off. 

“There’s a follower here.” I didn’t pose it as a question. 

“Jashin’s will reaches far beyond the temple.” He stretched lazily and relaxed into the booth. “You’ll meet many of his disciples on our travels. It’s a High Priest’s job to bolster and inspire Jashin’s teachings.” 

“Elder Gurou led me to believe that the only other believers were the Priests at the temple.” My eyes scanned the restaurant warily. There were a few families scattered around the building, but not a large crowd. Their postures were relaxed and totally exposed. None of them were a ninja or would pose a threat. 

“Tch, the old man hasn’t left the temple since he was a child.” 

“I didn’t know he’d been a Priest for that long.” Hidan gave me a side long glance. 

“You ever asked ‘im?” I frowned at him. No, I hadn’t asked him. He cracked a grin, “You won’t learn anything if you don’t ask brat.” 

“Asshole I turned seventeen already. I’m an adult.” My hand reflexively went towards my necklace to pray for forgiveness for cursing. Hidan slapped my hand away from my rosary. I looked up sharply to yell at him. 

“You don’t have to do that shit anymore. You’ve given everything to Jashin-sama you don’t need to ask for forgiveness.” He rolled his eyes at me and sat back into the booth. I lowered my hand onto the table. That would take some getting used to. 

We sat in silence for a few minutes until a large man carrying two platers of steaming ribs walked up to our table. He had to have been at least seven feet tall and broad chested. He wore a stained apron and chef’s hat. The soft pushing in my mind grew as he neared. This was the follower. “High Priest Hidan, it is an honor to cook for you.” He laid the food down on the table. I wonder what kind of veneration this man does? Would he be like Elder Dai and use fire? Or maybe it was knives? The man’s gaze shifted towards me before his eyes widened. “Oh! You’re…” His face turned pale and ashen looking, “My sincerest apologies High Priestess!” He bowed deeply, his head nearly touching the table. I blinked. “I was unaware our Lord had blessed another.” 

“It’s fine,” I sank just a bit further into the booth. My new status as High Priestess was sacred and to be treated as such, but I didn’t want to be…worshipped wasn’t the right word but I couldn’t find the right one. He straightened but his face was still pale. 

“Do you want anything? I can cook anything you ask.” 

“The ribs are perfect, thank you.” He bowed again before leaving. I rubbed my finger over my wrist. I wished for roughness of scabs. I glanced over at Hidan seeing he had already started eating the ribs. He certainly didn’t mind the man’s reverence. “Are we seriously here to mooch off of a fellow Jashinist?” I hissed with a little more venom in my voice than I intended. 

Hidan glared at me from behind the rib he was devouring. I refused to look away from him, despite the sudden cramping in my stomach. I couldn’t let him intimidate me. Hidan grunted, throwing the now clean bone down onto the plate. He pursed his lips before speaking. “Get it through your thick skull, _brat_. You are _the_ High Priestess of Jashin. As far as any of our Lord’s followers are concerned, you are the closest they will ever get to Jashin-sama before they die. We do not _mooch_ ; we gratefully accept their gifts, because a gift to _us_ is a gift to Jashin-sama.” 

I slumped into the booth as his words sunk in. I started to eat one of the ribs in front of me. I hadn’t thought about it that way. The priests at the elemental temples accepted all kinds of gifts from their followers. It made sense that we should be able to as well, though not in such a public manner. Despite Jashin-sama’s desire for his teachings to be spread, he in no way wanted his religion to become like the elemental pantheon. Where people superficially worshiped the gods without true devotion. “I…well these ribs are pretty good.” 

Hidan’s lips twitched in a smirk.

_The Land of Fire – three weeks later_

“Are we going to stop in Konoha?” I asked Hidan as we walked at a leisurely pace on the country road. I have heard only stories of the legendary Kage Mountain. I think it’d be nice to see it at least once in my life time…although I guess I had all the time in the world now. I was immortal. 

“No, I’m in the bingo books.” My hope deflated a bit at his words. It was easier than it should have been to forget that Hidan had massacred people in our village. Guilt grew heavy in my chest. He killed my parents, and here I was travelling with him. I shook my head of the thought. It would do me no good to think about my parents. 

“Why aren’t we travelling more inconspicuously than?” 

“I’m always willing to sacrifice an idiot who thinks he can kill me.” He had a point…

“The merchant we passed a day ago said that another war has broken out. It’s rumored to grow to be another war between lands.” I’d seen and heard whispers back in Yama no Fumoto about another war. Hearing it this far from home only cemented the rumors. 

“Let the heathen’s fight. It will make it easier for us to pay homage to Jashin-sama.” Hidan’s voice grew raspy with excitement. 

“When am I going to learn how to sacrifice a soul to Jashin-sama?” I asked looking over at my companion. Patterned shadows fell over his face from the sunlight filtering through the trees. The patches of hair illuminated by sunlight gleamed white. He had a straight prominent nose and a square jaw. His lips were thin and the same pale white as the rest of his skin. I’d never noticed it before, but Hidan was rather handsome. 

“When the time is right,” I frowned, “You’re an annoying little shit y’know that?” he rolled his eyes in my direction. My cheeks burned. “Did I hurt your feelings?” his mouth curled in a satisfied smirk. 

“You’re more attractive when you’re quiet.” I muttered angrily walking ahead of the annoying man. 

“You’re more bearable when you’re not asking questions.” I made an indignant huff at his quip. He chuckled at me. 

_The Land of Rivers_

“We’re going to need a boat.” I said staring apprehensively at the huge river that bisected the road we were on. It didn’t look like a particularly fast-moving river, but who’s to say what kind of current it had underneath the calm surface. 

“Kiyoshi never taught you how to walk on water?” Hidan’s tone was derisive. 

“We live inside of a cliff Hidan…it wasn’t like he could take me out on the ocean. Besides, I can hardly expand my senses to see if there is a threat coming towards us, how the hell am I going to push chakra into my feet?” I asked with a scowl. 

“Fuuuck,” Hidan threw his head back before slicking his hair back, “get on my back.” He squatted slightly so I could climb on his back.

“What? No!” I shook my head vehemently. I did _not_ want to be piggy-backed by him again. “Why can’t you just teach me how to do it?” he made a frustrated grunting noise that may have been a word but I couldn’t make it out. 

“Look kid,” He stood up and turned to face me. “Your chakra coils were shit before Jashin-sama blessed you.” His eyes narrowed letting me know not to interrupt him. “I have no fucking clue how much control you’ll regain,” he swept his hair back against his head again. “We don’t have time to wait and find out. Stow your pride and get on.” 

Hidan’s words numbed me enough that I climbed onto his back without another complaint. I could actually wrap my legs around his torso this time, so it was a bit less awkward than all those years ago. I may never be able to use my chakra again. I mean I could enhance my senses but there were chakra coils already located in our eyes and by our ears. 

Henge was one of my favorite ninjutsu’s to use. 

“How much did you regain?” I asked Hidan quietly, loosely keeping my arms curled around his neck. 

“Enough,” he sounded tired. I rested my chin on his shoulder and watched Hidan walk on water.

It was amusing, but I couldn’t figure out why. 

_The Land of Rivers – The Road_

It’d been a few days since Hidan piggy backed me across the river, and he’d done it several times more since then. For some reason he really didn’t want to get into any of the ferry boats that dotted some of the rivers by the road. I couldn’t move my chakra to my feet. I couldn’t even get the damn stuff to flow when I did kata’s. 

If I kept my eyes and ears enhanced for too long, I got a terrible migraine. I had no chakra control. I would forever be a beacon of powerful chakra I could do nothing with. Well, at least nothing _normal_ according to Hidan. 

I didn’t particularly like the Land of Rivers. It had been raining non-stop for three days now. Anyone we’d met on the road regarded us with distrust. Hidan wasn’t wearing his hitai-ate around his neck, his scythe was safely sealed away, and I wasn’t much to look at. I didn’t think I posed much of a threat.

“Why the hell is it still raining?” I squinted up at the steel gray sky currently releasing a torrent of rain. “We’re not in Rain country. It shouldn’t rain this much.” I lifted my arms away from my body. The air was sticky and hot. Hidan and I didn’t wear our cloaks, we’d be wetter from sweat than the rain. 

“We’re in the river lands, it’s humid and there’s water. There’s gunna be fucking rain.” Hidan shook his head dismissively at me. “They really did a great fucking job teaching you.” I clenched my jaw at his insult. 

“Alright genius, then tell me why the hell do the people in this country look at us like we’re criminals?” I could understand Hidan. The man looked freaky as fuck, especially in this gray lighting. He was paler than should be healthy and his red eyes looked like the glittering rubies in Jashin-sama’s statue. 

Hidan snorted, “they’re staring at _you_ , not me.” He slicked back his rain-soaked hair. I frowned at him. “For one you’re not wearing a fucking shirt.” I briskly pointed out neither was he. He ignored my comment. “And second,” my skin prickled as I felt his gaze move downward and away from my face, “you’re not eight anymore brat.” 

I looked down at myself, following his gaze. In the month or so since we’ve been on the road, I’d gained weight. Hidan loved fried and grilled food. I was still thinner than I probably should be at seventeen, but my breasts had grown and filled out my wrappings. My hips and thighs were wider than the last time I really looked at them. I really didn’t look like a child anymore. “So, they’re checking me out?” The thought made me slightly uncomfortable. 

“You’re really fucking dense kid.” I scowled at him. 

“I’m not dense, asshole.” I rubbed at my wrist, “I’ve been living in the temple since I was child. I’ve never had people look at me like that.” I gave a small shrug. “I guess it never really crossed my mind.” 

I hadn’t thought about anything remotely sexual since the last time I attended Kunoichi class. In the temple, all that mattered was Jashin and learning the meaning of suffering. Sex never came up. All the priests were celibate. Hell, I walked around in nothing but my pants until I started travelling with Hidan. 

I remember distinctly asking Miss. Kagame about seduction missions. I knew exactly why she was teaching us the ways of women. I knew how to seduce a man. It was all about the confidence. You could be an ugly woman and still successfully seduce a man if you had the confidence. I knew how to walk so it accentuated my ass and breasts. I can’t remember a time I didn’t know about how to do those things, or where the knowledge came from.

It wasn’t that I didn’t know about sex, it was just that I hadn’t really had any interest in the subject when it pertained to myself. “Am I hot?” I asked Hidan out of curiosity. They either stared because I was hot or stared because I was ugly. 

Hidan choked, “Are you-?” He shook his head and started to laugh. My chest hurt slightly. I must really be ugly. He didn’t have to laugh at me though. I told him exactly that and crossed my arms over my chest. It only served to make him laugh harder. He had a painfully loud laugh. “Now you’re fucking pouting!” His laugh turned into a high giggle.

My teeth squealed as I ground them together. Hurt and anger built in my chest. Hidan was such an asshole. The moment he started acting like a normal human being he had to revert back to being a jerk. Without a thought and a flick of my wrist, I sent a senbon flying into Hidan’s eye. 

He howled in pain; his hand immediately going to his damaged eye. We’d stopped walking the moment he started laughing and I stood facing him with a scowl on my face. The ass deserved much more than a needle in his eye. He glared down at me, the needle stuck perfectly inside his pupil. He’s lucky it didn’t keep going or he’d be dead for a few minutes. 

“You fucking little bitch!” He snarled at me. I stood my ground. He hissed as he pulled the needle out. Rage filled his eyes. “You’re gunna pay for that.” His voice was that same low tone he used when Takahiro had accused him of not knowing Jashin-sama’s will. I swallowed thickly. 

I twisted on my heel and shot off into the surrounding forest. I really pissed him off. I hadn’t expected that kind of anger from Hidan. I’d seen it at the village meeting all those years ago, but I didn’t think a senbon to his eye would make him lose his shit. I’d done it before…well maybe not in his eye, but still. He was truly terrifying when he was angry. I was only slightly curious as to why I couldn’t feel his anger like I had before. 

I heard the metallic whistling of the scythe as it hurdled towards me. My legs locked into place. I felt my mother’s hands tightly grip my shoulders. I felt the tremor within her fingers as my father’s head was severed. I heard the panicked screams as people ran and climbed over each other in an effort to get out of the room. I heard the wet squelch of metal piercing flesh before I felt the pain. 

I screeched as white-hot pain shot throughout my body. I looked down at myself in horror as I saw the three-bladed scythe embedded into my torso. Only two blades pierced my body. The weapon was tugged on and I fell on my face. My vision swam as the pain pulsed. I screamed again when I was dragged backwards through the mud. My hands clawed at the ground looking for a purchase, but the tugging was incessant. Blood spurted from the wounds and I gagged as my stomach lurched. Mud and leaves collected in the wound. I whimpered and cried as the pain became a fiery itch. 

“That fucking hurt.” Hidan growled before ripping the blades from my torso. I screamed. “Scream all you want.” I clawed at the mud and tried to will my legs to move. I needed to get away from him. A hand fisted itself into my hair and yanked me upwards. My eyes squeezed shut. “Look at me, you fucken brat.” I only just managed to open my eyes meeting the blazing red of Hidan’s. His free hand punched me in my side. 

Something wet and heavy fell from one of the wounds leaving an odd hollowness behind. I coughed, gagged, and puked all over myself and Hidan. It burned like acid. Hidan made a disgusted noise and dropped me to the ground. I didn’t have the energy to make a sound when I fell. This hurt so fucking bad. Oh god what the hell was on the ground? My stomach lurched again, readying for another round of puking. 

“ _Do not forget who you are!_ ” the deep voice vibrated my bones. The radiating pain lessened just slightly as his heavy presence filled the air around me. I knew who that was…that was Jashin-sama. 

I could deal with this pain. I could change it, use it to my advantage. I may not be able to turn the pain into pleasure, but I could manage. I grit my teeth. I could do this. I wrapped the pain around me like a cloak. I wrapped it tighter and tighter until that sweet relief of numbness came upon me. My vision cleared.

My spleen lay punctured and bleeding on the ground beside me. Hidan’s feet were dirty from the mud. I lifted my gaze higher. His pants were soaked and clung to his legs showing the bulge of his penis. I continued to look upwards, seeing black chunky bile clinging to his torso. A muscle in his jaw flexed. His white hair fell wetly into his eyes. They looked like burning embers. 

“Hidan.” I lifted myself up onto my forearms. I looked at the elder priest with narrowed eyes. His eyebrows rose. “Am I at least cute?” I croaked as I coughed up more blood. It felt sticky and hot in my mouth.

His bark of laughter made my lips twitch. “Ya kid, you are.” His laughter jangled in my ears as my vision swam and darkened. 

_A few hours later_

I woke up staring at steel gray sky. It stopped raining. My hand which had been resting on the soggy ground beside me tentatively moved to the side I had been stabbed. Smooth flesh met my fingertips. Relief flooded my veins. I blinked slowly wondering if I should sit up. 

Where was Hidan? I let out a slow breath, braced myself on my elbows and lifted myself into a sitting position. I looked around but saw no sign of my travelling companion. Did he leave me out here? The thought didn’t sit right with me. Hidan was showing me how to be a High Priestess, he wouldn’t abandon me. 

I pulled the tar like chakra and forced them into my ears. The small sounds of the forest grew in sharp clarity. Droplets of water fell from the leaves and woodland creatures were gently chittering in their hideaways. A man was panting softly a dozen or so feet east of me. I released the chakra with an audible sigh. That had to be Hidan. 

I stood on shaky legs wincing as my torso twanged in protest. I was still healing from my wounds then. I wiped my hands on my filthy pants. I really needed to bathe. Ever since entering The Land of Rivers we hadn’t stayed in an inn. We’ve been sleeping outside. Hidan had a few bedrolls sealed away in the scrolls he carried in his thigh pack. 

I never pegged Hidan as someone to use seals. It seemed too subtle for the man’s taste. Then again, I didn’t know much about Hidan. He and Miss. Kagame had been friends and they were nothing alike. He had said that he lost a lot of his ninja abilities when he became a High Priest, maybe he was once some kind of genjutsu master. I could hear the panting now. 

It took me a moment as I approached to understand what I was seeing. Hidan was sitting cross-legged on the ground with his eyes closed. He was covered in hundreds of senbon. From forehead to the exposed portion of his torso was pierced with the needles. The metal glinted ever so slightly in the dim light. His eyes were closed and he was rocking back and forth rhythmically. His lips moved soundlessly. Hidan was worshipping. I blinked. 

Come to think of it… My hands brushed over my breasts. There were no hidden needles within the folds of my binding. I moved onto my pants and they were also free of my weapons. I opened my senbon holder and found them empty. I glared back up at the older man. Asshole left me weaponless and passed out in the middle of the forest. 

I had half a mind to shove those needles deeper into his skin, but I kept my distance. I really should just leave him be until he was finished. Personal veneration to Jashin-sama was sacred. I was too fascinated to see him worship to leave though. My personal worship was always loud and all-consuming. It surprised me that Hidan’s worship was so subdued. I’d expected to see gushing wounds and missing limbs.

A sudden rush of dizziness caused me to sway on my feet. Jashin-sama’s heavy presence pressed upon my chest a moment later. My mouth dropped open as pain flared in my torso. I panted as I fought to stay on my feet. 

A black figure was crouched in front of Hidan. It was as if it was cut from the night sky on a starless night. Completely black with unclear wavy edges. I knew instinctively that this was Jashin-sama. The hand reached out and cupped Hidan’s face. My cheek tingled. Jashin-sama leaned forward and I felt my lips tingle. What was this?

I blinked. 

I opened my eyes to see a steel gray sky. 

“Took you fuckin’ long enough. I was about to leave you.” Hidan complained from beside me. I jerked my head to look at him. He wasn’t covered in needles. I was still laying on the ground. I sat up and checked my clothing. I felt the stiff senbon hidden within the fabric. I looked around myself. There were dark pools of congealing blood beneath my body. 

What the fuck? 

I had woken up and found Hidan worshiping. I watched Jashin-sama accept his suffering. I…what the fuck?

“Can you not talk?” Hidan questioned with a scowl. 

“I…” How am I supposed to explain that I woke up and walked to find him only to blink and be back asleep? I mean I’ve died, talked to a god, and came back to life, but…something in me told me not to say anything to Hidan about it. “You killed me.” I pinned him with a glare. 

“Now we’re even brat.” 

“I was eight and you’d just killed my parents!” I stood with narrowed eyes, anger pooling comfortably in my stomach. 

“You just stabbed me in the fucking eye!” Hidan pointed at his perfectly fine eyeball for emphasis. 

“I could do worse.” I crossed my arms over my chest. I had overreacted by stabbing him in the eye. Hidan snorted. 

“Look how well injuring me worked out for you, you really wanna try again?” There was an edge of anticipation in his voice. He really wanted to go again. 

“I’ll hit you when you’re least expecting. I could get a bigger head start that way.” 

Hidan laughed and begun walking back towards the road. I kept pace with him. “You really are a fucking brat.” I decided to take it as a compliment. 

“ _Little Chise, spying when she shouldn’t…_ ” my forehead tingled with the sensation of someone kissing my skin. Jashin-sama’s voice made me shiver. 

“I need to bathe.” I looked down at myself with scrunched nose. I was covered in mud, blood, and other gooey looking things I didn’t want to think about. My spleen had fallen out of my body… 

“There’s a river a few yards to your left.” Hidan pointed out. I rolled my eyes. 

“No, I need to bathe in an actual bath. Like an onsen.” It was his turn for his nose to scrunch up in distaste. He hated anything to do with our home village. “Don’t give me that look. It’s your fault I’m as dirty as I am anyways.” Hidan let me know loudly that if I hadn’t thrown the needle into his eye that I would have never gotten dirty in the first place. “Are we out of money? Is that why we’ve been sleeping outside?” 

“Money is shit.” Hidan spat on the ground. “People treat worthless pieces of paper as if it’s god. They all deserve to fucking die.” 

“Money lets us eat Hidan.” I told him with a small frown. The temple had a small savings of money from the wool and clothing we sold to the villagers, but never a surplus. I’d never heard any of the priests talk bad about money. Then again, they didn’t have a huge need for it. The temple was self-sufficient. “We need money.” 

“Are you saying that money is more important than Jashin-sama?” Hidan’s voice took on a dangerously low tone. 

“No, he saved me.” I rolled my eyes, “I’m trying to say that we need money to survive out here. How the hell have you been travelling around all this time with no money?” Come to think of it I didn’t see Hidan pay the inn keeper or even the restaurants we ate at. “Have you been stiffing the bill every place we’ve gone to?” 

“What the fuck does it matter to you?” 

“Holy shit Hidan! You’re probably wanted in every damn village in the world!” How can he be such an idiot? We weren’t like the monks of the Elementals, people would give them room and board for free since they were religious. We worshipped a god that demanded blood and suffering. A hungry god. Our presence made people uncomfortable. They could feel death on us. “We _need_ to make some money.” 

“Calm down brat. I have money.” Hidan’s voice was dismissive. Anger flared within me at his words. 

“You bastard.” I crossed my muddy arms gingerly over my chest. Hidan chuckled at me, clearly amused for getting a rise out of me.


	18. A Hot Head

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for your wonderful comments, kudos, and support. Every time I read one of your comments it makes my day. This scene didn't fit very well with what comes after in the story, so the chapter is a bit short. As always let me know what you think and enjoy!

_Land of Rivers – Inn_

I found an inn with an onsen in a small village about a day later. It had rained again and a lot of the mud and blood stuck on my skin had been patchily washed away. I was thankful that Hidan allowed us to stay at the onsen, but not without complaining, loudly, about how stupid onsen’s were. Even between his complaining I know he was happy to be sleeping in a real bed. 

The inn keeper gave us a weary look when we had checked-in but made no other comment other than to tell us that the onsen was unisex. I hadn’t been in a hot spring since I was a young child. I tried not to think about it too hard. I honestly didn’t like to think about my parents, especially being in such close proximity to Hidan. It was easy to ignore what he had done when I buried it deep within my mind.

“We’re only staying long enough to get our shit washed.” Hidan threw his thigh pack onto the bed. 

“No problem,” I gingerly took off my sandals. I began taking out the senbon hidden within the fabric of my pants before they too were taken off. I felt infinitely better when my legs were bare. “Where are we headed anyways?” I asked looking over at my travelling companion. 

Hidan was busy stripping off the wrap around his torso. On his bed lay a dozen or so shuriken. “To a town further west.” 

I frowned at his back but went back to work undressing myself. I wanted to shower than soak in the hot spring. It nearly gave me the chills to think about it. I’d spent over a week feeling like a wet rat. I took out the senbon from my chest wrappings. “How insightful, thank you for answering.” I undid the knot holding the wraps in place and began the laborious job of unwrapping it. 

“You’re very welcome.” Hidan’s sarcastic reply made me snort. “I’m going to shower.” I looked over at him and saw he was already in the white robe that came with the room. 

“Okay, see you there.” He left without another word. I fully undressed before donning the robe myself. I glared at the pile of Hidan’s wet clothing. He was supposed to put them in the basket outside of the door so the Inn Keeper could wash them. “Fucken lazy asshole.” I grumbled as I gathered up his clothing with mine. 

I dropped them off in the basket and made my way towards the showers. Given the late hour of our arrival, the bathroom was completely empty. I nearly ran to the nearest shower head and turned it on full blast. I groaned as boiling water poured over me. 

Beside worshipping, this shower was the best thing to happen to me. I tilted my head fully into the water’s path. I watched murky water run down my body and into the drain. The water was tinged a bit red. I still had blood in my hair. Despite how bloody my veneration became, I truly did not like to be dirty. There was a difference in being covered in blood because of my faith and being covered in blood because Hidan’s an asshole. 

It wasn’t long until the water ran clear once more and I was clean enough to go into the hot spring. I wrapped a fresh towel around my body. I was unsure if the hot spring itself would be deserted. I didn’t mind nudity, but I knew many took offense to it. I pushed the door open and was met with balmy air. 

I smiled as I was suddenly reminded of my mother taking me to one of the hot springs in our village. She had pinned my hair up with chopsticks so it wouldn’t get wet and brought my favorite bath toy. I spent an hour swimming around and playing with my toys while my mother relaxed. 

“You gunna stand there all night?” Hidan’s voice ripped me away from my musings. He was leaning back against the far edge of the spring. His cheeks red from the heat of the water. 

“I might, it’s kinda nice out here.” I glanced around, noting no one else was in the hot spring. I twisted my hair into a loose bun before I dropped my towel and walked into the water. It was just as hot as the water from the shower. I settled on an alcove across from Hidan. The water came up to my collarbone. I sighed and leaned my head back. This was nice. 

We were silent for a while, simply enjoying the heat of the water on our travel worn bodies. Or at least I was, I could only guess what Hidan was thinking. My mother loved going to the hot springs. She called them our girl getaways. When I was a baby, she was my whole world. 

I’m not sure why, but I can remember my birth. I remember being scared and confused by how big everyone was compared to me. I hated diapers, they itched so much. I felt so awkward feeding from my mother. I’m pretty sure kids don’t remember being that young. 

“Alright, get out of the spring.” I jumped when Hidan spoke. 

“You can’t want to leave already.” We’d only been soaking for a few minutes. He rolled his eyes at me with a grunt. 

“No, but I’m going to teach you how to walk on water.” I perked up a bit at his words and eagerly climbed out of the water. “The chakra that runs through your body is an extension of Jashin-sama. It is the chakra of a God, so you’re weakling body isn’t able to manipulate it.” 

“You can’t do much either.” I retorted earning a scowl from the elder man. 

“I don’t _have_ to teach you shit, brat.” Hidan threatened. I huffed but didn’t comment. “Good, now you can’t manipulate this chakra like you would your own. It won’t listen.” He stood from the water. His hips were _just_ underneath the surface. He lifted his leg until his foot was on top of the water before stepping onto the water. I couldn’t help but glance down when he stood on top of the water. He wasn’t hard like he had been the other day when we fought, but he definitely wasn’t small. His public hair was only a shade darker than the silver of his hair. “like what you see?” 

My gaze snapped up to his in an instant. I felt my cheeks grow hot at his implication. “I’ve just…” how the hell was I supposed to justify staring at his penis? “Get on with the lesson asshole.” I grumbled crossing my arms over my chest. Damn it…why the hell was I staring? Well…of the penises I’ve seen, which wasn’t many, they were all old wrinkled men. Takahiro wasn’t exactly old, but he never bathed when I bathed. He was the only one who thought it was improper. 

“Heh, poor little Chise flustered by the sight of a dick.” I opened my mouth but nothing came out. Hidan laughed. “Anyways, the trick to working with this chakra is that you can’t _force_ it to do shit. You simply do what you want and it will follow.” I frowned at him, confused by his words. 

“What do you mean I just _do_ it?” I blinked rapidly thinking of all the rivers I’d fallen into since becoming a High Priestess. “I’ve been trying to walk on water for weeks.” 

“No, you’ve been trying to force your chakra into the soles of your feet like they teach you in ninja school.” Hidan took a few steps in my direction. “I’m not concentrating on my chakra, I’m trusting it to do what I want it to do.” 

“That makes no sense. Kiyoshi told me that-”

“ _Kiyoshi_ doesn’t have our God’s chakra running through his veins,”  
Hidan shook his head. “Now walk on the water.” 

I breathed in deeply and took a step onto the water. I promptly fell into the pool and had enough mind not to gasp when my head went under. I came back up spluttering anyhow, “What the fuck?” 

“You’re still trying to force it. Just walk on the water.” 

Something must have gotten knocked loose in his skull from the heat. People couldn’t just _walk_ on water. You needed to manipulate your chakra into your feet so there was enough of it to create a buoyant layer between the water and your feet. There wasn’t nearly enough base chakra in your feet to just walk on the water without the manipulation of chakra. I tried again. 

After my fifth failure Hidan was growing impatient. “By Jashin, are you that much of an idiot?” he growled as I lifted myself out of the water once more. I glared at him when I stood up. “It’s the simplest thing I can ever teach you, and you can’t even stand on the water for a second. You must be _really_ dense.” My jaw clenched as anger bubbled in my stomach. “I can’t believe you’ve made it this far with how stupid you are.” I felt my hands close into fists. “What Jashin-sama saw in you is a total mystery.” 

“You are the biggest dick I have met in my entire fucking life!” I yelled marching up to Hidan. “How Jashin thought a foul-mouthed screw ball was a good candidate for a High Priest is beyond me!” I poked him hard in the chest. “You can’t just walk on water. It’s impossible!” 

“Really?” Hidan questioned, looking down at our feet. I followed his gaze and gasped. I was standing on the water. I had time to look up at him in amazement before I felt the surface of the water break around my feet. I fell once more. When I emerged out of the water Hidan had sat back down. He was laughing at me. “You’re such a hot head.” 

My eyebrows rose, “I’m a hot head?” Had the man ever paid attention to the things he did? 

“Ya,” He rolled his neck. “You used to act like a fuckin’ old woman, did Jashin-sama take your patience or something?” 

The question caught me off guard. I remembered every detail of my Consecration. I can still hear the rumbling timbre of Jashin-sama’s voice. I could still feel the pain from him giving me his blessing. I still saw the blurry shadow figure and felt the cold touch of his lips. I couldn’t remember what was said though. I frowned in frustration. I could remember the number of diapers I wore until I was potty trained, but I couldn’t remember the most important conversation of my short life. “I…I don’t know.” I sank further into the water as a headache bloomed behind my eyes. 

“Hm,” Hidan looked almost pensive, which was terrifying in and of itself. “Our Lord must not want you to know.” I nodded, but I wasn’t entirely satisfied with the answer. Why couldn’t I remember what I gave to Jashin-sama? 

“What did you give Jashin-sama?” 

“None of your business brat.” I scowled at him. 

“You’re such an asshole. So how far west are we going?” 

“We’re going to the Land of Wind.” I waited for him to elaborate, but he never did. I grumbled but let the subject go. I didn’t want to piss him off and have Hidan cut our hotel stay short. I was hoping he’d let us at least stay the whole night. I craved the comfort of a mattress.


	19. An Unexpected Development

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you all for the kudos and comments. I love reading them. I hope everyone's holidays were pleasant. Let me know what you think of the new chapter and Enjoy!

_Four days later- Border of Land of Rivers_

“The pass is closed due to the sand storm.” The guard informed us when we entered the village. Ribarokku-mura was one of the only villages on the border of the land of Rivers and the Land of Wind. If the foot traffic was any indication, they were a decent sized village.

“How long is the sand storm going to last?” I asked glancing nervously at Hidan. He hated waiting. 

“They predict about a week, maybe longer.” I felt my heart drop at the man’s words. “There are still a few inns that have openings. I’d get there quickly if I were you though.” 

“Thanks for the information.” I smiled brightly at the man. His eyes fell away from my face momentarily before coming back up. I kept my smile despite my fingers itching to put a senbon between his eyes. 

“It’s no trouble miss.” He smiled back, but it no longer felt welcoming. 

“Let’s go.” Hidan growled and started walking away. I followed suit without a word. I either got a lot of disapproving looks or I was leered at by people. Although many people’s natural instincts told them to stay away from Hidan and I. I noticed it more often whenever we were near large groups of people. 

They always gave us some space. We never had to struggle to get through a crowd. I wasn’t even sure people were doing it consciously. Their bodies were simply moving on their own. I remembered how overwhelming Hidan’s presence felt before I became a High Priestess. I could only imagine what it was like to feel us both. 

“So where are we going to stay?” I asked as I walked beside Hidan. 

“Somewhere cheap.” His answer was short. He had woken up in a foul mood this morning. 

“Are we running out of money?” It would suck if we’d only be able to afford lodgings for a few days. I hated sleeping on the ground. 

“No, now shut up.” 

“Jeez you’re being grumpy.” I muttered under my breath as I followed him down the road. The closer we got to the Land of Sand the grumpier he became. It was as if his fuse was beginning to run short. I wasn’t sure if I wanted to be around when it ran out. I’ve already seen the damage his anger could cause.

He walked us to an inn at the edge of town. All the rooms had their own building, though it was still a small inn. The inside of our room was a little run down with the wall paper peeling from the walls and the carpet rising from the floor. The woman at the counter had said it was only ten ryo a night. It made me wonder what kind of crowd this place usually catered to. 

“I’m going out. Stay out of trouble.” Hidan nearly growled at me when I asked him what we were going to do. I scowled at his back. The clock rattled when he slammed the door shut behind him. 

I had barely sat down on the bed when my stomach growled unhappily at me. “Fuck…” I rubbed my wrists, wishing to feel the scars. I didn’t have a single ryo to my name. Hidan was in a mood, and I don’t think following him would do me much good. 

I fiddled with my rosary as I tried to think of a way to get some food. We had to stay here for a week, so I couldn’t just steal the food. I stood out too much for that. I didn’t wear a Hitei-ate, so my style of dress was considered either dangerous or odd. 

I knew I could avoid a lot of trouble if I simply wore a shirt, but I hated shirts. They were so constricting. If I could get away with it, I wouldn’t wear the wraps around my breasts. Covering my flesh meant diminishing the amount of flesh I could use to pray to Jashin-sama. 

Back to the matter at hand, I needed food. I’m sure I couldn’t die from starvation, but I really didn’t want to find out. There had to be a way to get food that didn’t involve stealing. Maybe I could get a job? I did a lot of chores around the temple, so I wasn’t completely incompetent. I shifted on the bed and gasped when one of my hidden senbon poked me in my leg. “That’s it!” I jumped to my feet with a smile. I grabbed the remaining room key and left the hotel room.

I swiped a folding lounge chair that was in the patio area of the small inn. It was maybe midday, so people would be out in force. I walked, following people until I came across a park. There was a substantial amount of people at the park. It was a beautiful sunny day. I set the chair down and cleared my throat. It was about time I put my parents training to good use. 

“5 Ryo acupuncture! Fixes Stomach aches, back aches, and headaches! 5 Ryo for five minutes!” I called out to the passerby’s. I trained for eight years under my parents. They were the reason Kiyoshi thought I would make an excellent assassin. I got my first customer about ten minutes after I started shouting my deal. 

Acupuncture wasn’t meant to be done in the middle of a park, but in a dark room where the recipient could relax. I didn’t have the luxury of a private room. I didn’t think the inn keeper would be happy with me if I set up shop in one of her rooms. I knew how to alleviate pain though, and that’s what matters. 

The pregnant woman thanked me profusely when I finished. Her feet had been swelling and causing her a great deal of discomfort while she tried to shop. My next customer came almost immediately afterward. This was almost too easy. 

After a little over two hours of work I had two hundred Ryo. Apparently, the only acupuncturist in town was a little smelly. I couldn’t blame them for not wanting to go to someone who smelled bad. They also liked being in the middle of nature. I guess the park was a good spot to pick. I could afford an early dinner. One of the customers recommended a restaurant a little south of here. They had an ‘eclectic’ selection of food according to him. 

As long as they had more than barbeque, I would be happy. Hidan had an obsession for all things grilled whether it be meat or vegetables. I was thoroughly burned out on barbequed food. Val Kit’s restaurant was a small place situated in between a dry cleaner and a grocery store. “Good afternoon!” I was greeted enthusiastically by the hostess. 

“Good day,” I nodded my head towards the girl. 

“Is it just you?” I told her the affirmative and she escorted me to one of the small tables near the wall. There were a few other patrons in the restaurant as well. “Your server will be right along to take your drink order.” She handed me the menu with another smile.

“Thank you.” As she walked away I started perusing the menu. They had everything from sushi to hamburgers. I silently thanked my customer for recommending the place. 

“Hi, my name’s Touma I’ll be your server tonight.” I looked up from the menu to see a cute boy standing beside me. He had chestnut brown hair with dark brown eyes. His face was round and boyish with an open smile. My cheeks heated up. “What would you like to drink?” 

“I um…” I cleared my throat as my stomach flipped. He was really cute. “I’ll have green tea please.” 

“I’ll bring that right up.” He smiled widely at me and walked back towards the kitchen. I sank into the booth as I read over the menu. I think I would go for the crunch roll. It looked the most appetizing and wasn’t too expensive. A few minutes later Touma came back with my tea. “Here you go,” He gently set the tea cup and tea pot down on the table. “Have you decided what you wanted to eat?” He looked over at me, a notepad in his hands. 

“Yes, I’ll take the crunch roll.” 

“Ooh, that’s my favorite.” He smiled broadly at me and I felt my cheeks burn. By Jashin was he adorable. “Enjoy your tea.” He bowed shortly and left to put in my order. 

I watched the other customers in the restaurant while I waited for my food. There was a family seated in the corner of the restaurant. They had two small children, a boy and a girl. The whole family had wispy red hair. The children were talking animatedly over one another, their mother and father listening intently. 

I remembered one of the few times my parents had gone to a restaurant. It was a little after my third birthday. I had finally been able to string coherent sentences together and my mother finally stopped accompanying me to the restroom. I was coloring on the kid’s color page the waitress had given me. I remember thinking how annoyingly sparse the kid’s menu was. I frowned slightly at the memory. 

My parents had begun arguing about bills in the middle of our dinner. Kaa-san thought tou-san was spending money on arbitrary things. She had confronted him about what he could be spending our money on and he’d become very defensive. I remember starting to cry in an attempt to get them to stop arguing. It only fueled their hateful words towards one another. It goes to say we didn’t go out to eat very often. 

A few tables away from me were two Suna nin eating burgers. They’re hitae-ate were tied proudly over their foreheads. They were most likely trapped here from the storm. One of them glanced in my direction, I moved my gaze away from them after a small moment. The last thing I needed was to gain the attention of ninja. 

“Here you go miss.” Touma set down the sushi roll in front of me. 

“Thanks.” I smiled up at him. 

“It’s no trouble, enjoy your meal.” 

I grabbed the chopsticks and began eating my food. It was the best thing I’d had in a month. Grilled food got really boring when you had it every day. I couldn’t understand how Hidan still liked the stuff. I missed the food from the temple. It was bland and simple, but I never grew tired of it. It must be a trick of Elder Dai’s. The Akimichi always had secret ways with food. 

I missed everyone at the temple. I missed having a routine. I got along with just about all the priests, especially after I had been healed by Jashin-sama. Arguing with Hidan was entertaining, but exhausting. I missed the easy flow of conversation I had with Takahiro. The elder man had been the closest thing I had to a best friend. None of the priests were father-figures to me. I never attempted to fill that parental role even though I was surrounded by men. 

“How are you enjoying your food miss…” I jumped slightly at the sound of Touma’s voice. 

“Oh uh…Chise.” I rubbed my wrist nervously. I couldn’t afford to space out here. I needed to stay alert, especially since I was alone. “It’s delicious.” 

“I’m glad to hear it Chise.” My toes tingled when he said my name. “I haven’t seen you in here before, did you just move here?” 

“No, I’m just passing through.” I told him with a small shrug. 

“Ah, got stuck by the storm huh?” 

“Unfortunately.” 

He smiled apologetically. “Well hey, if you’re not busy I could always show you the things to do around town? No sense in being bored for a week.” I blinked slowly at the boy in front of me. Was he asking me on a date? I’ve never been asked on a date before, not that I ever had a chance to be. I never even thought about dating. 

“Uh sure…but aren’t you working?” I asked out of curiosity. 

He laughed lightly, “I meant tomorrow. I don’t work then.” My face flared in embarrassment. Of course, he meant tomorrow. His smile grew wider as he noticed my blush. “How about we meet here at noon tomorrow?” 

“Oh okay.” I nodded nervously. He gave me one last blinding smile and walked away. 

I finished and paid for my food in a blur. I slowly made my way back to the hotel. I was asked out on a date. A boy found me cute enough to ask out on a date. I smiled softly to myself. I guess I wasn’t hideous after all. I wonder what Hidan would say?

My stomach dropped at the thought of Hidan. He’d blow a gasket if he knew I was going to go on a date. He’d see it as some kind of affront to Jashin-sama. I don’t see how a harmless date would be insulting to Jashin-sama. Perhaps I shouldn’t tell him. That was probably the best course of action. 

It turned out to be a non-issue anyways, because Hidan wasn’t in the room when I returned. I shrugged as I undid my chest wrappings. He’d come back when he was done doing whatever he needed to do. I grabbed my personal whip out of my pack and began my evening prayer. About a half an hour later, I crawled into the bed and sighed. The sheets smelled like apples. At least the blankets were clean.


	20. A Day of Firsts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! thank you for the comments and kudos! i appreciate every single one of them! Here's a new chapter, let me know what you guys think! I hope everyone is having a great beginning of their year!

_Ribarokku-mura – Day 2_

I woke up the next morning with a yawn. I scratched my head as I sat up in bed. I looked over to the other bed in the room and saw that it was untouched. Hidan hadn’t come back last night. I frowned slightly but pushed the worry to the back of my mind. He was a big boy, he could take care of himself.

I went about preparing for my morning prayers. Elder Gouro would smack me if I shirked my prayers. I wondered briefly how the old man was doing. If it hadn’t been for his strict tutelage I would not be as dedicated to the faith as I am today. My personal whip no longer held the same bite as it used to. I’d need to ask Hidan how I could enhance my worshipping. 

My stomach flipped when I remembered I had a date today. A date with a really cute boy. I put on one of my clean pairs of pants and a clean wrap. I threaded my senbon carefully into the fabric of my wraps, forgoing the ones in my pants. I combed my hair and pulled it into a tight bun. My rosary tinkled lightly around my neck. 

I left the hotel room a few minutes later and went to find an open fruit cart. It was only about six in the morning. I had a few ryo left from yesterday’s work. I could afford an apple or a plum. People were just starting to set up shop when I walked through the streets. I wandered aimlessly for a little while until they set up. I bought a peach from a wrinkled old lady. She smiled toothlessly at me when I gave her the money. 

It didn’t take long until the village was bustling with activity once again. It was nice to know this was a village that woke up nearly as early as I did. Hidan and I had passed through a village where their shops didn’t open until eleven O’clock. It had been quite annoying for me, since I tended to rise with the sun.

I still had hours to kill before my date with Touma. 

I made my way back to the park I had set up shop in. We were nearing the fall months, but the drop-in temperature hadn’t reached this town yet. I knew it had something to do with differing weather patterns between the Land of Rivers and the Land of Wind, but I wasn’t entirely too sure how. I forgot sometimes that my traditional education ended when I was eight years old. Kiyoshi was an assassin, not a geographer. Elder Dai taught me how to cook while Jun taught me how to make candles. Kenta taught me how to make clothes. 

I actually missed the colder temperatures. It never truly got hot in the temple. The natural chill of the stone and the constant moisture in the air made for a very pleasant temperature. Not to mention the sea air stung beautifully on our wounds. I asked Elder Gouro once if he knew who made the temple. 

While some of the caves were naturally occurring, such as the one we used to bathe, other rooms were carved into the dark stone. If you ran your hands over the walls you could feel each chip mark that the pick-axe made. Jashin’s statue had been carved out of the very stone itself. I remember the day I asked Elder Gouro how the Temple came to be.

We had been standing in the Sanctuary, having just finished Evening Prayers. Elder Gouro had told me this “Jashin-sama bid a simple miner to make him his temple. This miner knew nothing of our Lord, but knew the voice of a god when he heard one. He set to work on building the temple. It is said that Jashin-sama came to see the temple when it had finished. When the miner gazed upon Jashin-sama he immediately impaled himself on his pick-axe. When our Lord asked the miner why he did such a thing the man replied with ‘I have seen perfection, and I am unworthy to live with the knowledge.’ Jashin-sama was so pleased with the man’s answer, that he blessed him with immortality.” 

When I heard the story, I was jealous of the miner. He had gazed upon our Lord. I’d seen the dark outline of Jashin, his body a black void within the air, but never his face. His touch though cold, burned like acid. Jashin-sama’s voice rumbled like thunder. I didn’t know much else. I wonder if I would kill myself should I ever see his face. Could I die now that I was blessed? Surely only if Jashin-sama willed it to be. 

As far as I knew, Hidan and I couldn’t be permanently killed. I’d have to ask the elder priest when he came back from doing whatever he was doing. It hadn’t completely sunk in that I was immortal. I’ve only been blessed for two months or so. I gained weight because I was eating unhealthy foods. I still got tired and hungry. Maybe I’d start to feel immortal when decades passed and I still looked seventeen-years-old.

I decided to practice my katas in the park. By going slow enough, no one would pay me any attention. This wasn’t a shinobi town, but it was waypoint for travelers. I saw two Suna nin in the restaurant yesterday. I also noted a few more ninja walking the streets. I wouldn’t be seen as a threat. 

The sun was high in the sky by the time I made it to the restaurant again. Touma was already waiting outside the building as I walked up. My stomach flipped at the sight of the young man. He looked cuter than he did yesterday. His hair was styled in that faux messy look which framed his boyish face handsomely. He wore a blue t-shirt and black pants. His smile was near blinding when he caught sight of me. “Hello Chise!” He greeted with a friendly wave. 

I swallowed compulsively against the sudden dryness in my mouth. “H-hello Touma.” I smiled timidly back at the boy. 

“Hey, your hair changed.” He pointed out making my frown. I wore my hair the same as I did yesterday. I walked up to the nearest mirrored store front to see what he was talking about. 

My eyes widened at the sight of my hair. My roots were no longer the dark brown hair I was born with, but a shock of silver white. I smiled as my fingers brushed over my roots. “Yes, it’s finally growing out,” I murmured quietly to myself. I turned to Touma with a grin. 

“You look nice today.” 

“I’m wearing the same thing as yesterday.” I watched in horror as his smile faltered slightly at my words. Shit…wasn’t I supposed to say thank you and leave it at that? I felt heat rising from my cheeks, I really didn’t know how to talk to boys. 

“Well…you looked good yesterday too.” He shrugged. “C’mon I have the perfect place to show you.” He gestured with his hand that we should start moving. I followed beside him inwardly cursing my sudden social anxiety. We walked in silence for a few minutes before he broke it. “So, where are you headed once the storm in the pass clears up?” 

I glanced at the boy, wondering how much I should tell him about myself. A twisting in my stomach warned me not to say too much. “I’m not sure, my travelling companion is calling the shots.” People viewed all priests and priestesses as otherworldly. No matter what god they worshiped. I didn’t want Touma to view me differently because I’m a high priestess. 

“Oh, are you travelling with a boyfriend?” Touma’s voice was slightly guarded. Laughter bubbled out of my chest at the question. Even the implication that Hidan was my boyfriend made my lungs seize in amusement. Hidan was handsome, there was no denying that, but he was such an asshole. Not to mention he called me ‘brat’ and ‘kid’ more often than he used my name. Hidan being anyone’s boyfriend was fucking ludicrous. “I’ll take that as a no.” 

I gasped in a breath before looking at the boy. “A big no.” I cleared my throat to get rid of the excess giggles. My eyes burned slightly from the tears gathering in them. Oh, that was funny. “He’s a…mentor of mine.”

“Oh, that’s good.” Touma’s smile was relieved. My eyebrows twitched at his comment, but I didn’t ask what he meant by that. He was cute, and if he liked the idea of me being single then I wouldn’t complain. 

We were heading towards the edge of town that led to the Land of Wind. If Touma noticed people’s subtle avoidance of my person, he made no comment. He was a civilian though, so I wouldn’t expect him to be able to pick up on such things. “Our town doesn’t have a lot to offer travelers, but our caves are something else.” Touma told me as we neared the base of the mountain. 

There were ropes set up alongside the well-worn dirt path. A sign hanging from one of the ropes stating: Beware of Scorpions. Stay on path. This area of town was more desert than forest. It was quite amazing to see the change of scenery from one end of the village to the next. The east side of the village was lush with forestry. Trees grew from either side of the main road, their tops twisting and growing together creating a canopy overhead. This west side was a desert oasis. There were no trees, but instead squat bushes with dull green leaves dotting the light brown dirt. 

Up ahead a wooden booth was set up on the left side of the path. A small gate blocked the path leading into a rather large cave. The person in the booth was an older woman with salt and pepper hair pulled into a ponytail. “Oh Touma! It’s great to see you again child.” She smiled toothlessly at my companion. Did this village not believe in dental care? She was the third elderly woman I had come across with little to no teeth.

“Hello Mai-san, how’s business today?” Touma fished out his money pouch.

“Same as usual,” The woman turned her gaze to me. There was a slight hardening in her eyes that suddenly reminded me of Elder Gurou. “And who’s this young lady?” 

“I’m Chise, ma’am.” I bowed slightly in greeting. He handed her a few ryo.

“I’m showing her around town while she visits.” Touma’s hand rested lightly on the small of my back. His skin felt blistering hot against my own flesh. I nearly shivered at the touch. 

“Ah, behave in the caves. Have a good day you two.” Even though she smiled indulgently at Touma, her gaze never left mine. I got the distinct feeling she knew who I was, _what_ I was. I felt no pressure against my mind, so she wasn’t a fellow Jashinist…perhaps she used to be a ninja. 

“You too Mai-sain. C’mon Chise, let’s get going.” Touma led me towards the gate. He opened the gate for me and we entered the cave. 

Once my eyes adjusted to dimness of the cave, I gasped. The cave was softly lit by strings of yellow lights following along the path. The ceiling of the cave was vaulted, taller than that of the Temple’s Sanctuary. Clusters of large stalactites hung beautifully from the ceiling. Sprouting from the ground off the path were stalagmites, their stouter formations a dark blue green color. The air in the cave was warm and moist, nothing like the chilled air of the temple. 

It occurred to me then that I have never seen a cave in its’ natural state. The Temple may have been a natural cave once, but the miner had manipulated its’ surface until it resembled the home I grew up in. The temple must have had these pointed rock formations at one point, the moisture in the temple far outweighed the moisture here. The soft plink-plink-plink of water filled my ears. 

“It’s beautiful right?” Touma’s voice startles me momentarily. His hand, which is still on the small of my back, doesn’t react to the tensing of my muscles. 

“Uh, it is,” we continue further into the cave, the path winding around the rock formations. “Yes, very beautiful.” 

“This is the only live cave in the mountain. All the other caves have dried up.” I’m not sure what he meant by a ‘live’ cave, but I nodded along with his words all the same. “It’s part of the tourist attraction here. Mai keeps the whole cave system in tip top shape.” 

“I didn’t know caves could look like this.” Touma smiles down at me. There’s a warmth in the upturn of his lips that make my stomach flutter. We walk in silence for a few minutes while I admire the beauty of the cave. When I return home, I’m most definitely telling Jun about this cave. 

“So, what do you like to do for fun Chise?” 

Memories of balancing precariously on a log with one foot while dodging kunai that Kiyoshi threw at me in rapid succession passed through my mind. Jun’s amused chuckle as I accidentally dipped my fingers into the candle wax for the fifth time came to me next. The deafening crack of the whip I heard before I felt it’s searing bite made its appearance last. I felt that same nauseating pull of my stomach. “I like to read.” 

“Reading huh? What kinds of books do you read?” 

“Action and adventure mostly. Some romance.” Elder Gurou frowned on such ‘hedonistic endeavors’ as he put it, but he didn’t forbid it. 

“Action huh? You like ninja stuff?” I nodded at his question. “Is that why you dress like one?” 

I almost told him that I dress like a ninja, because I was a ninja. Instead, I said, “yeah, one of my favorite character’s dressed like this.”

“Wow, my parents would never let me do something like that.” My heart stutters uncomfortably in my chest at his implication. The whistling of metal sung in my ears. I felt my mother’s hands tighten on my shoulders. “You okay?” I visibly flinch at his voice before looking up at the taller boy with wide eyes. 

“I’m fine…just remembering something unpleasant.” I gave Touma what I hoped was a convincing smile, and judging from the way his eyes relaxed I succeeded. “What do you do for fun Touma?” 

“I really like to hike and explore nature when I’m not working.” It was such a simple answer that it took me a bit by surprise. Maybe it wasn’t _simple_ per say, Kiyoshi would have said he enjoyed taking care of the animals, but it was…a gentle answer. I guess I was spending too much time with Hidan’s volatile personality. Regular people were starting to look boring in comparison. 

“Have you travelled much?” I’d only recently started to travel, but the country side was quite beautiful. His smile fell from his face. 

“No, not yet anyways. I’m saving up so I can though.” He shrugged with a half-smile. “It’s really dangerous to travel outside of a village. A lot of civilians go missing on the roads, so I need enough money to hire a few ninja bodyguards.” 

I knew from stories of the priest’s pasts that civilian life in this shinobi run world could be downright deadly, but it hadn’t ever really occurred to me just how aware the civilians were of it. I thought they lived in ignorant bliss unless they left the safety of their village. I guess growing up in a temple skewed my view of the world more than I had first thought. “Where would you like to go first when you start travelling?”

“I want to go to Hokage Mountain!” His face lit up as he spoke. “I want to make the trek up the mountain so I can explore the forests of Konoha.” 

“I wanted to go see the mountain as well but Hi-” Hidan’s name dried on my tongue as my stomach cramped. His warning _‘I’m in the bingo books,’_ echoed in my mind. While it was unlikely that Touma would recognize Hidan from name alone, I still couldn’t risk it. We were stuck in this village for a week. “that is my travelling companion, didn’t want to make the detour.” 

“Aw man, that stinks. Did you guys travel alone?” There was a concerned note in Touma’s voice that gave me pause.

“No, we travelled with a merchant caravan.” The lie flowed easily from my lips. We were nearing the mouth of the cave again, having made a large circle within the cave itself. 

“That’s good to hear.” I smiled cheekily at the boy. 

“Why, are you worried about little old me?” My smile widened when I saw a blush rise on his cheeks. 

“Um…well…” He rubbed the back of his neck sheepishly. “I guess ya…you seem really nice and um…” We exited the cave. I had to shield my eyes from the blinding sun until they adjusted to the light again. “So, how’d you like the cave?” 

I didn’t push the issue of him worrying about me. “It was beautiful Touma.” 

We made our way back down the path. Mai was still sitting at her booth when we passed by. She gave Touma a friendly smile before turning to me with a curt nod. I felt irritation rise in my chest at her unfriendliness. What did she think I was going to do to him? Murder him in the cave and hope she didn’t notice when I emerged by myself? 

The transition between desert oasis and beautiful forestry was just as breathtaking on the way back as it was on the way there. We walked beside one another in companionable silence. I enjoyed Touma’s quiet demeanor. It was a nice change to Hidan’s near constant badgering. I always had to be on my toes when Hidan was around. I couldn’t let the bastard gain the upper-hand during our insult battles. 

“Do you have any place in particular you’d like to go to for lunch?” Touma asked, finally breaking the silence. My stomach rumbled unhappily at the mention of food. 

“Someplace with no barbeque.” My companion gave me a questioning look, but I didn’t extrapolate on my answer. 

“Sounds like a plan.” 

We ended up at a ramen shop. I can count the number of times I’ve eaten ramen on one hand. The tasty soup was too fatty for my mother’s diet and it was too extravagant for the priests to make. That’s not to say I didn’t enjoy the soup myself. “This is really good!” I slurped the noodles noisily as I ate. 

The kind faced middle-aged man behind the counter smiled at me. “Why thank you miss.” He and his son were working diligently behind the counter. 

“Do you have a favorite movie?” Touma asked after we’d been eating for a while. 

“Uh…no I don’t watch movies…” I shrugged and took a big bite of ramen. 

“You don’t watch movies!?” He exclaimed disbelief coloring his voice. I swallowed my bite with an almost audible gulp. “Are your parents religious?” 

I almost said ‘My parents are dead,’ but what came out instead was “Yes, super religious. I’ve only been allowed to read books.” Touma merely blinked at me for several moments before speaking. 

“Wow…that really blows. Hey listen, I have a shift tonight, but if you want, we can go to a movie tomorrow night?” My stomach flipped and I felt a blush rising on my cheeks. 

“A movie sounds great…” He smiled a little shyly at me in return.

We finished our ramen before Touma paid for the meal. The exchange of money reminded me that I needed to work again to ensure I had enough money to eat. I had no way of knowing if Hidan would make an appearance, so as far as I was concerned, I was on my own. I knew that he hadn’t abandoned me in the village, because he was tasked with teaching me how to be a High Priestess. Hidan would never shirk his duties to our Lord. His devotion to Jashin-sama and insults were the only things I could count on Hidan for. 

Touma talked in length about his favorite movies. He was also a fan of action adventure stories, but he wasn’t big on reading. His whole face lit up as he animatedly described them to me. His brown eyes were shining with excitement. It was really charming. 

“Let me walk you back to your hotel before it gets too late.” Panic suddenly pulsed through my veins at his suggestion. What if Hidan had come back? I couldn’t risk Touma running into the hot-headed priest. 

“Ah,” I easily stepped in front of Touma. “That’s not a good idea.” Touma’s face was open with surprise. Damn…I must have moved too fast. I pursed my lips while I clasped my hands behind my back, trying to make myself as unthreatening as possible. I didn’t want to scare off the boy now. “My travelling companion isn’t too keen on me talking to boys…” I looked down at my feet to give the impression of being demure. 

“Hey…” A soft finger curled underneath my chin. Touma guided my head back up so I was looking at him. His mouth was twisted in worry, “You’re with this companion, willingly right?” The concern in his eyes nearly made me melt.

“Of course, he’s just overprotective is all.” I smiled reassuringly at Touma. His fingers caressed my cheek, the worry evaporating from his eyes to something warmer that made my body ache with want. My gaze flickered down to his lips before looking back into his eyes. I wonder what it would be like to kiss him? 

My vision was suddenly filled with Touma’s face before he pressed his lips against mine. They were soft and pliant, far softer than even the freshest of Elder Dai’s bread. Touma’s hand slid from my chin to the back of my neck, while the other one encircled my waist to draw me closer. He pulled me flush against the warmth of his body. I gasped as desire suddenly pulsed deep in my stomach, lower than that really. His tongue swiped gently over my parted lips before delving further into my mouth.

His tongue felt like liquid velvet against my own. Our tongues entwined with one another in a gentle dance. I trembled against him as pleasure I had only ever felt while worshipping rose within my body. He held me tighter against his body. Distantly I craved the bite of a whip or the searing heat of a hot coal against my flesh. 

Just as soon as the kiss had been initiated, it ended leaving me panting with need. Touma grinned at me, eyes dark with desire and cheeks red. “I’ll see you tomorrow night at seven, meet you in front of the restaurant.” He flashed me another near blinding smile before leaving me in the park. 

I opened my mouth, but found I couldn’t speak. I touched my lips with shaking fingertips. I’d never been kissed before. My breath came out in a soft puff. 

That almost felt as good as worshiping did.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So, while writing this chapter I realized i hadn't written anything resembling romance in a few years which is kind of crazy because I started writing with romance. I had fun writing this. Have a good day everyone!


	21. A Day of Firsts

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Hey everyone! Sorry it's been so long. I wasn't super happy with the chapter, so I kept rewriting it and before i knew it three months had passed. I'm still not overly happy with how the chapter came out, but I didn't want to leave you guys hanging anymore. I hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think! I love all of your comments and kudos.

_Ribarokku-mura – Day 3_

Hidan still hadn’t come back to the room. I’d be worried about him if I didn’t know he was immortal. I remember my father and the council members talking about Hidan being the only survivor out of a squad of ninja. I highly doubt a little town on the border of the Land of the Wind would get the best of him. 

I spent most of the morning and early afternoon working in the park. While I was more than capable of fasting, I’d gotten quite used to eating every day. I knew that when I returned to the temple, I’d have a hard time readjusting to Elder Dai’s cooking. Maybe I should bring the old Akimichi a case of different spices. 

Thinking of the temple made me homesick. I missed making candles with Jun, peeling potatoes with Kenta, and worshipping with Takahiro. I missed being able to talk to them openly about my thoughts and fears. I didn’t realize how much I relied on them for conversation until now. Hell, I’d even take bickering with Hidan over the silence of solitude. 

After working in the park, I headed back to the motel to get ready for my date. My second date with Touma. I tried not to think about the boy, and was failing miserably at it. Anytime he crossed my mind, my stomach fluttered with nerves. He’d kissed me last night. Even the memory of the kiss made my toes curl with desire. My first ever kiss. 

The touch of his lips was exhilarating. While I had curiously always been aware of sexual interactions, I’d never experienced them myself. Even something as innocent as a kiss. Had Yugakure never disbanded its shinobi forces, I’m sure I would have been sent on a seduction mission. It was an inevitable part of the job when you were a female shinobi. Who’s to say that my first kiss wouldn’t have been with a target and not someone I wanted to actually kiss. 

I decided to let my hair down from its usual low bun. I finger brushed it, seeing as I didn’t take a hair brush with me when I left the temple. The silver white roots of my hair warmed my heart. It was living proof that I had been blessed by Jashin-sama. I couldn’t wait for the day when my hair was as white as Hidan’s. It fell in gentle waves around my bare shoulders. 

I refuse to buy a shirt, they were so damn constricting. I decided to not to weave my senbon into my chest wrappings or pants. It was a miracle I didn’t accidentally stab Touma yesterday when he pulled me against him. I wouldn’t risk it happening tonight should he do so again. I wouldn’t be able to lie about not being a ninja if he found ninja tools on my person. I kept my rosary on, taking comfort that I wasn’t entirely unarmed with my star around my neck. 

At the moment I was waiting outside of the restaurant where Touma worked. I leaned casually against one of the walls waiting for him to show up. I was a little early, so I wasn’t worried about being stood up. I people watched as I waited. There were more couples walking the streets at night then there were during the day. My stomach flipped at the thought that I’d be joining the crowd of couples tonight. The kiss from the night before still felt a bit surreal to me. 

“Hey Chise!” Touma’s voice called from across the street. I immediately caught sight of him crossing the street. He wore a plain black yukata with traditional sandals. His hair was combed neatly to the side. I suddenly felt entirely under dressed in my white chest wrapping, red wool pants, and hard soled flats. 

“Hello Touma,” I bowed my head slightly in greeting if only to hide the sudden blush on my cheeks. 

“I hope you weren’t waiting long, I lost track of time.” He smiled a little sheepishly at me. 

“No no, I haven’t been here long.” Honestly, I wasn’t even aware that it had passed seven. 

“That’s good to hear. Well, let’s get going.” He offered me his arm and had I not been such an avid reader I wouldn’t have known to place my hand in the crook of his elbow. He began leading us to wherever the movie theatre was. “Your hair looks really nice when it’s down.” 

I tamped down on my sudden compulsive need to smooth down my hair at his comment. “Thanks…your yukata looks nice. If I had anything nicer, I’d have worn it.” I haven’t worn anything resembling formal wear since the first time I entered the temple. 

“I like what you wear. It makes you unique.” I grinned a little at Touma’s words. 

“So, what movie are we going to watch?” 

“Ah, well I remember that you told me you enjoyed action books, so I figured we can watch the new ninja movie: Ninja Storm 2. The first one was pretty cool.” I’d never heard of the Ninja Storm series, but I’d take Touma’s word for it. 

“That sounds like fun.” He smiled. 

One would think that because ninjas were the life blood of our society, that ninja movies would be an accurate reflection of ninja life. They in-fact were not. Ninja Storm was riddled with inaccuracies of every aspect of the shinobi, except for the clothing. That was about the only thing they got right. All the hand symbols were wrong, not only did they use the wrong hand symbols for the jutsu’s being showcased, but the hand positions themselves were nonsensical. I would have thought that they would have hired retired ninja to teach the basics of jutsu to the actors, or hell…be the actors themselves. 

The plotline was a bit contrived, there was a romance thrown in the mix about midway through. I’m not entirely sure why, but it served as nothing but a distraction for the main character. Also, the blood splatter was completely inaccurate. One of the baddies would be hit with a kunai in their arm or shoulder and the blood would begin to spurt uncontrollably out of the knife embedded wound. 

I’d probably stick to books after this. Touma and I left the theatre once the credits started rolling. He was grinning ear to ear. “Wow that was awesome! Did you see all those jutsu’s he pulled off?” I bit the inside of my cheek in an effort to keep myself from telling him how impossible it was for the protagonist to perform a fire and water jutsu at the same time. I told him I wasn’t a ninja though, so I couldn’t suddenly have knowledge about the ninja arts. 

“Yes, I did. It was impressive.” Touma’s whole face was lit up in excitement. The lying was worth seeing the happy expression on his face. It was still pretty early in the night, so there were a lot of people milling around the streets. “So, is there anything else planned for tonight?” I didn’t want to go back to the hotel room yet. I felt lonely there. 

“Well, I do know of a party that my friend is throwing if that’s something you’d be interested in?” Touma asked with a lift of his brows. 

“I’ve never been to a party.” His eyes widened at my words. 

“Never?” I shook my head. “Oh man, we definitely have to go now.” He laced his fingers with mine before directing us to go left. I felt my cheeks grow hot at the touch. “You’re definitely going to enjoy it. There’s good music and some alcohol.” 

I’ve never had alcohol before either, but I didn’t tell him that. I was beginning to feel a bit like a wet rag. I didn’t watch movies, I didn’t drink. I definitely didn’t party. I lived by a strict moral code that my God had lined out for us. As a high priestess I was afforded more leeway from the code than other followers of Jashinism, but I still had to follow it. My life revolved around my religion. 

“That sounds fun.” I smiled up at Touma a little shyly. 

He grinned at me in return before beginning to direct me where to go. We left the downtown area of the town and towards a more residential part. There were less and less people on the streets as we walked. Touma chatted about the movie some more while I nodded along. I was a bit nervous to go to a party. He didn’t say how many people there would be or how long it would go on for. 

Would I be underdressed as I seemed to be underdressed for everything that involved the civilian world? That didn’t mean I wanted to buy a shirt or a kimono. I thoroughly enjoyed my chest wrappings and simple wool pants. I simply stuck out like a sore thumb whenever I tried to integrate myself into civilian life. 

We stopped in front of a moderately sized home. All the windows were lit up and I could faintly hear the pulse of music from within. I tried to ignore the cramping in my stomach as we approached the front door. Touma opened the door without knocking. “This is my best friends place.” He explained as loud piercing music poured from within the house. 

I resisted the urge to cover my ears as we walked inside. I’ve never heard something so loud in my life. It was a little disorienting. There were about twelve people in the living room of the home. Most of them were boys who looked to be around Touma’s age. There were four other girls beside me in the living room. 

Touma was greeted with an overwhelming cheer of “Touma! You’re finally here man!” 

“Hey everyone, this is Chise.” Touma pulled me a little in front of him. I waved a bit awkwardly at the strangers before me. “Chise these are my friends and their dates.” 

People went around and introduced themselves, but if I was honest, I could barely hear a word they were saying. Touma directed me to an empty seat on a couch beside a brunette girl before disappearing further into the house. I think he was going to get us a drink. Everyone had a glass in their hands. 

“Hi!” The brunette beside me greeted animatedly. 

“Hello.” I bowed my head a bit. 

“I’m Hisana!” Her smile was a little too wide to me welcoming and her eyes were a bit glossy. I wonder how much alcohol she’d consumed already. 

I opened my mouth to ask if she was okay. “Here you go Chise.” Touma handed me a glass filled with dark liquid before sitting on my left. I looked over at him in question. 

“What’s in it?” I swirled the glass a bit dubiously. That didn’t look very appealing to drink. 

“Just some moonshine with juice to make it test better. Try it.” I frowned, but took a sip of the drink anyway. It burned as it made its way down into my stomach, making my throat seize uncomfortably. “It’s good right?” Touma’s smile was softly expectant. 

“Yes, it is.” I lied as I took another drink. I’d drink the vile liquid if it made him happy. I didn’t want to be a bad date after all. 

“So, what brings you to Ribarokku Chise?” One of the guys across the coffee table asked me. 

“Chise here.” Touma slung his arm around my shoulders, “is stuck due to the sandstorm in the pass.” I bit my tongue to keep from snapping at him that I was more than capable of answering for myself. 

“Oh, wow you headed into Suna?” One of the girls asked. 

“I’m not sure yet.” At this rate I wasn’t even sure if Hidan was ever going to come back. I’m half convinced he’d abandoned me in this town because I’d grown to be too troublesome. My stomach tightened uncomfortably at the thought. He was probably taking care of some business…or something. 

I sat back against the couch and sipped at my drink. I listened while the other talked. I enjoyed the company despite the loud music. It reminded me of the priests back in the temple. Everyone talking either too each other or over one another to be heard. They never ran out of topics to talk about. The party made me miss home. 

It felt like no time at all had passed before I raised my cup to my lips to find that it was empty. My vision blurred as I stared into the empty glass. I frowned and tried to focus my gaze back to its normal clarity. It only served on making my head hurt. My insides felt hot and loose while my limbs began to grow heavy. 

“Would you like another?” Touma’s voice broke through my concentration. I turned to look at him and the room around me wavered a bit. I blinked hard, trying to clear my vision. I watched his mouth move as he asked something else but I couldn’t hear him. The music was beginning to make my entire body vibrate.

“What?” I asked tilting my head to the side. 

“How are you feeling?” I felt my blush rise to the tips of my ears at his question. 

“You’re really cute!” I giggled as I leaned close to the boy. Touma chuckled lightly. 

“Thanks, but you haven’t answered me.” While not being able to see straight was a bit disorienting, I didn’t feel bad. In fact, I felt pretty damn good. 

“I’m great!” I grinned widely at him. “I would like another yes.” He eyed me for a moment before standing up from the couch. 

“I’ll be right back then.” He disappeared back into what I assumed was the kitchen. 

_Four Hours later_

I was well and thoroughly drunk. I’d never been drunk before, but I’m pretty sure this is what it felt like. I was leaning heavily on Touma, who was walking just fine. I couldn’t seem to find the coordination required with walking in a straight line. The world undulated slowly around me as we walked, giving my already blurry vision an odd fish bowl effect. 

Touma was walking me back to the motel from the party. Everyone there had gotten drunk and danced to music. Once the alcohol tore down my reservation about being around so many strangers, the dancing was quite fun. 

I’d also like to note that once I was drunk, people’s natural aversion to me went away. It was like they stopped feeling uneasy around me. That I was no longer a predator among them. Or it could be that I stopped noticing their reaction to my person. It was probably the latter. I didn’t stop being myself just because I was drunk. That was silly. 

“How’re you feeling?” Touma asked softly as I stumbled my way down the alleyway. 

“I’m good…” I tried not to let my feet get caught on one another. I didn’t want to fall. Not that the pain would particularly bother me, I just didn’t like to fall. It was embarrassing. 

“You sound good.” He sounded a little sarcastic, but I wasn’t too sure. 

“I had a fu’un time.” I hiccupped as I spoke. Touma chuckled at me. 

“I’m glad. You got along with my friends rather well.” 

I opened my mouth to tell him that it was the alcohol that helped me open up around them, but a new voice called out to us before I could. “Lookit here, a drunk couple on their way home…how sweet.” A man emerged from the shadow of a building. I blinked hard at him. The man held a knife in his hand. 

“Hey we don’t want any trouble man.” Touma put his hands up in surrender making me frown. Were we being robbed? 

“You here that boys? Tubby doesn’t want any trouble!” The man yelled louder and I heard footsteps behind us. I turned to see three more guys walk up to us. My stomach clenched painfully. I blinked rapidly and mentally shook myself. We were going to be robbed.

“Here, take my wallet.” Touma fished his wallet out of his pants. I scowled at the man in front of us, how dare he try to rob us? Who gave him the right? 

“heh, what a pushover.” The man sneered at us. “That silver you got around your neck bitch?” He pointed with his knife at my rosary. It was silver, he had a pretty good eye to pick that out in the dark. 

“No.” Nobody was allowed to touch my rosary. That was mine. 

“No?” 

“Just give him the necklace.” Touma urged and my anger flared. 

“I said no.” I stepped away from Touma, knowing that there was a fight coming. I swayed unsteadily on my feet. I blinked hard, trying to sober up. 

“Have it your way then.” The four men jumped in to attack. 

My hands darted down to my pants to get my senbon. My fingertips were met with soft fabric. Shit! I had left them out of my wardrobe so I wouldn’t accidentally stab Touma during our date. Fuck fuck fuck! My world turned into a blur of motion as I was shoved onto the ground. 

I lay there for several seconds, trying to figure out what in the world had happened when I heard the scream. My head snapped up to see Touma surrounded by the four men. He’d shoved me away, like my mother did all those years before. 

They all had various weapons in their hands, none of them were ninja tools. They were run of the mill knives and chains. I couldn’t let Touma be attacked like this. He didn’t know how to fight. I did, I was trained to take on attackers. I rose to my feet as quietly as I could manage, removing my rosary from around my neck so I could easily grip the sharpened metal star in my hand. 

I came up behind a short man with cropped greasy blonde hair. My hand shot out, puncturing his jugular with the star before stepping away. The effect was almost instantaneous. His blood squirted out in thick streams, causing his buddies to yell and jump away from him and subsequently Touma. 

“Oh what the fuck!” One of them yelled as the man clapped his hand over his bleeding neck. Nothing would stop that bleeding, I’d made sure to sever the vein entirely. I picked up the man’s fallen knife.

With a simple flick of my wrist I threw the knife into the second man’s throat. He fell with a gurgle. With growing ease, I bent to pick up the chain in his now limp hand before coming to a stand.

“You bitch!” The remaining two men turned their attention on me, which was what I wanted. Drunk or not, I was still a ninja. 

“Run away Touma!” I yelled as I relaxed into a defensive stance. The third man tried to circle around me, keeping my attention on him as the first guy who spoke lunged towards me. 

I threw the chain out, so that it would wrap around the third guys neck. I knew I wouldn’t be able to avoid getting stabbed, but that couldn’t stop me. I jerked the length of chain tight, crushing the man’s airway. I turned my head just in time to see Touma jump in front of me to block the first man’s blow. “No!” I screamed, letting go of length of chain to try and stop Touma. 

“Oof!” Touma cried out as the knife plunged into his chest, knocking back into me. I caught him but fell on my ass in the process. 

“No no no no no!” The knife protruded out of his chest, blood welling up thick and vicious around the metal. 

I can feel the warm spray of blood on my cheeks as my mother’s body is impaled. The screams of terror still echoing my ears. 

My hand snaps out, sending my star and rosary sailing at the first man. The point of the star embeds itself within the man’s forehead, nearly disappearing into his skull. He drops dead on the spot. 

“Hurts…” Touma gurgles, his hand clumsily trying to grasp the hilt of the knife. 

“No, don’t touch that…” The knife missed Touma’s heart, but by the way he was breathing it had hit one of his lungs. “By Jashin…why did you jump in front of him?” 

“He…tried to stab you…” Touma wheezed painfully. I frowned down at the boy, my heart constricting in my chest. His breath hitched and his began coughing wetly, his eyes darting around wildly. “I don’t wanna die…not alone…” 

“I’m so sorry Touma.” Had I not been drinking none of this would have happened. If I had never befriended him in the first place he wouldn’t be bleeding out in an alley. My breathing hitched as tears burned in my eyes. 

“Don’t wanna…be…alone.” The ever-rising panic in my chest subsides a moment as his words. “Hospital…” He doesn’t want to be alone? 

“I can make sure you don’t.” I smile down at the boy. I gently pull him further onto my lap before I swipe my finger in the blood on his chest. “I can make sure you don’t die alone.”

“Hospital…” I make Jashin’s symbol on the ground and on us with his blood. “Chise…hospital…” he wheezed, but I’m already bringing my bloodied finger to my lips. 

His blood on my tongue immediately makes my skin tighten. It feels almost exactly as it did when I tasted my own blood for the first time after the Consecration ritual. The thick chakra heated up into liquid metal as it began to spread throughout every part of my body. I felt it saturate every cell every crevice within me as it surged, brought to life by the drop of Touma’s blood. My body tingled, my ears hummed, and my thighs trembled as the chakra continued to build within me. 

The last of the alcohol burned away in the face of the overwhelming power growing underneath my skin. I felt bloated with chakra. As if any moment my skin would rip open and it would come spilling out of me. I remember Hidan’s advice from weeks ago, to let go and pray to our lord. 

“Jashin-sama, I offer you this sacrifice in your name.” The damn broke within me at my words. My chakra spilling over my skin, turning the pale flash black as a starless night. The bone-white markings fading slowly in as well. I smiled down at Touma. “You won’t die alone now.” 

I could recognize the look on the boy’s face as horrified, but none of that mattered now. Now was the time for sacrifice. Now was the time for pain. “No…get…away…” 

“Shh…” I ran a finger down his cheek, “it’ll all be okay now Touma…you’ll see.” I looked around myself, and found that the man with the knife in his throat laying beside us. I easily pulled the weapon from his flesh. He didn’t need it anymore. 

“Mon… _monster_ …” I gave the boy a sympathetic smile. He would think I was a monster…I never told him what I was truly capable of. He didn’t know that I had the blessing of a god.

“Don’t worry Touma…I’ll take care of you.” I’ve never seem Touma inflict pain onto another person, so he didn’t deserve a painful death. Touma deserved to go out painlessly. I brought the tip of the knife to my temple. “You won’t be alone anymore, I promise you.” I leaned down to press my lips to his, knowing this would be the last time I could ever do so. 

I plunged the knife into my brain.

We died the next moment.


End file.
